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Wife divorcing me

mid-divorce

By mid-divorce,
in Separation and Divorce

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mid-divorce

mid-divorce

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My wife walked out on me 4months ago taking my 3 children. She said at the time it was a break to save our marraige. She since started a divorce and lied about it. I now know she is with another man. She friends n family and all around blame me, as she has told them that i emotionally abused her and force her out the house.

 

I'm struggling to cope and even after all she has done i still love her. She has been very friendly with me since i found out about the divorce even inviting me for tea. At the weekend i told her i dont want be friends at the moment and i blame her for throwing the towel in on our marraige.

 

Anyone any advise?

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M30USA

M30USA

Posted
Posted
My wife walked out on me 4months ago taking my 3 children. She said at the time it was a break to save our marraige. She since started a divorce and lied about it. I now know she is with another man. She friends n family and all around blame me, as she has told them that i emotionally abused her and force her out the house.

 

I'm struggling to cope and even after all she has done i still love her. She has been very friendly with me since i found out about the divorce even inviting me for tea. At the weekend i told her i dont want be friends at the moment and i blame her for throwing the towel in on our marraige.

 

Anyone any advise?

 

Of course she's going to blame you. She could have slugged you with a baseball bat, cheated on you, and she'd still blame you. That's human nature. No matter how good or bad people are, it's always someone else's fault.

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MrWombat

MrWombat

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She has been very friendly with me since i found out about the divorce even inviting me for tea.

Jesus - don't do it. She's already telling her rellos that you "emotionally abused" her. If you go to her house, she'll claim that you attacked her or got abusive or some sh*t and you'll wind up in prison. Try fighting a divorce from there. Do not, do not, do not meet with this person in private. You still love her? Well guess what - she doesn't love you. You need to get over it, and fast, because there is nothing she won't do at this point if it means squeezing extra money out of your future.

 

Go see mgtowforums.com to speak to some guys who have been through the wringer.

 

And whether or not you do that, go see a lawyer.

 

Oh, and see about getting those kids of yours paternity checked. In general, if you have three kids, one of them isn't yours. But your wife is an adulteress - you are not divorced yet, and she's sleeping with another guy - so it goes double. I'm sorry, dude, but it happens all the time. She has been sleeping with this guy for years.

Edited by MrWombat
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standtall

standtall

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mid...in your opinion, is it in the best interests of your children to be with their mother? If yes, then just divorce her and work out custody if you can....with out the courts direction..if no, then get those kids back ASAP..tell her she can leave but the kids stay put. If she doesn't heed, then get an attorney and involve the courts as soon as you can.

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96nole

96nole

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My wife walked out on me 4months ago taking my 3 children. She said at the time it was a break to save our marraige. She since started a divorce and lied about it. I now know she is with another man. She friends n family and all around blame me, as she has told them that i emotionally abused her and force her out the house.

 

I'm struggling to cope and even after all she has done i still love her. She has been very friendly with me since i found out about the divorce even inviting me for tea. At the weekend i told her i dont want be friends at the moment and i blame her for throwing the towel in on our marraige.

 

Anyone any advise?

 

I would recommend not being anywhere alone with her. If you HAVE to see her, do it in a public place and have someone you can trust with you.

 

This woman is no friend to you. She walked out 4 months ago because she was seeing another man. Then she started the divorce without telling you. This all means she has been planning it for a while. She is being nice right now because she has all the power and control. She is being nice to try and keep you doing what she wants. The second you do not conform to her wishes in this process, you will see a very ugly side to her.

 

Do not doubt for a second she is trying to stack the deck in her favor. If you have not gotten a lawyer, do it today. Speak to her only about your kids. Do it by phone or text. She and her other man have already been doing a lot of planning regarding you. They've even started a smear campaign against you.

 

I understand you love her. This has all been dropped on you. But you have to understand she does not love you. You need to look out for yourself and your kids. She IS NOT going to do anything that is in your best interest.

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aMguilts

aMguilts

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i concur with 96nole

 

Of course you still love her!!

You willing to lay down and be a doormat for her at the same time?

 

Advice?

 

Depends.. how strong are you?

 

My 1st advice is to let her go.

2nd Is to start thinking about you and what you want?

 

She will say anything. You want to meet her? ok, make it on your terms

Edited by aMguilts
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standtall

standtall

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Posted (edited)
So for now - dont be friends and believe what she says?

No chance of recon at a later date?

 

Not too concerned about the kids? it's curious that you mentioned that she moved out for another man and she took your minor children yet you don't seem to care...curious. Is there more to this story?

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Aviator76

Aviator76

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nope. Whats going to happen is that she will end up falling out with the guy shes having an affair with, then she'll try to come back to you, and you will probably give in and fall for it, until she does it again. Give her the marching orders. Get an amicable divorce. DO not meet in private, she'll have you done. You now have to think about YOU, and the KIDS. not her. She doesnt figure in your future plans. Make sure you realise that.

 

good luck

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aMguilts

aMguilts

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Is she only letting you see your kids when she wants to spend time with her new man?

If so you need to stop this right now.

 

Next time ask`s you , say " can you have them tomorrow night?" say no, i`m busy that night, i`ll let you know when i`m free to have them again.

 

Make it about you, don`t make it easy on her.

 

stay strong

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standtall

standtall

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But, why did your wife walk out? *Were* you abusive to her? Be honest, you have nothing left to lose at this point. What is the opinion of your friends who knew the 2 of you as a couple? I wonder what your contribution was to your situation.

 

 

Wow, that's pretty harsh. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.

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mid-divorce

mid-divorce

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This just get stranger and strnager - ... Picked the kids up, she slams the door in my face. Ui then speak to her on the phone, she tells me she is going the solicitors in the morn to stop me seeing the kids...took the kids back, stood on her drive - she invotes me in as its cold. Then makes my teat and asks me to stay and eat with her. I then leave and she hugs me and says maybe we could go for a coffee tomoz????

___________

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aMguilts

aMguilts

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hey Mid

 

She is gaslighting you. sorry :(

This is a game she is playing with you. She`s messing with your mind right now?

Down is up, left is right, blue is red?

Don`t play them. Whatever she wants? do the opposite.

 

Coffee tomorrow?

"i`d love to...but i have other plans" , big smile at her , then leave.

 

Then ignore.

 

It`s a game she is playing with you, but it`s a game she will lose everytime, if you don`t play it.

 

aM

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robf1971

robf1971

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she tells me she is going the solicitors in the morn to stop me seeing the kids...

 

They always throw that rubbish around.. in the UK there is this feeling that men never get the kids. Most of the guys I know lost their kids because they didn't fight for them. If I was you I'd be lawyered up and have that woman in court before she could drink her cup of morning coffee!!

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96nole

96nole

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This just get stranger and strnager - ... Picked the kids up, she slams the door in my face. Ui then speak to her on the phone, she tells me she is going the solicitors in the morn to stop me seeing the kids...took the kids back, stood on her drive - she invotes me in as its cold. Then makes my teat and asks me to stay and eat with her. I then leave and she hugs me and says maybe we could go for a coffee tomoz????

___________

 

Mid,

She is keeping you off balance so it's easier for her to control the situation.

 

She slams the door in your face then invites you to eat and hugs you.

She threatens you with a solicitor to keep you from seeing your kids but wants to have coffee in the morning.

 

Please get your own solicitor as soon as possible if you haven't already. Don't eat with her or have coffee with her. She can fill in her own mediation budget.

 

You asked about the chance for a reconciliation at a later date. Step back and take a real look at what she has been doing and ask if you would want to be with this person ever again. And look at her from what she is doing, not from the image you have of her in your head. They are two entirely different things.

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M30USA

M30USA

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Mid,

She is keeping you off balance so it's easier for her to control the situation.

 

Exactly, exactly, exactly...

 

She slams the door in your face then invites you to eat and hugs you.

She threatens you with a solicitor to keep you from seeing your kids but wants to have coffee in the morning.

 

Please get your own solicitor as soon as possible if you haven't already. Don't eat with her or have coffee with her. She can fill in her own mediation budget.

 

You asked about the chance for a reconciliation at a later date. Step back and take a real look at what she has been doing and ask if you would want to be with this person ever again. And look at her from what she is doing, not from the image you have of her in your head. They are two entirely different things.

 

Can I give this post 500 likes?

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aMguilts

aMguilts

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What she gain form this?

Feels less guity? has me to do thing for her? Gets more from mediation?

 

hey mid

 

Who knows what she gains from this or whatever is going on in her mind?

 

Maybe it does make her feel less guilty? Maybe she is angry at you or herself even? maybe she`s one sandwich short of a picnic?

 

aM

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aMguilts

aMguilts

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She just rang me to ask my help in filling in the mediation budget forms for tomoz

 

 

Did you help?

 

aM

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Gunny376

Gunny376

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Its a classic military move to get one's opponent blind, deaf, mute (unable to see and communicate), can't maneuver lost, dazed and confused in the "fog of war". You want to create fear, and most of all anxiety and an un-natural environment of of hyper-vigilance to the degree of spreading rampant panic throughout. Not just panic but uncontrollable fear!

 

You want to keep them lost dazed and completely and absolutely confused, looking around everywhere, seeing that which isn't there, hearing that which isn't there. To the point to where they're imagining things. To the point of where they're almost running around in circles with their hands in the air screaming bloody damned murder.

 

This pretty much applies more or less to any and all adversary relationship. But it criminal or civil court, debate, divorce (if hostile) etc.

 

She's p****** on your leg trying to convince you its not her! But that its raining! :eek::mad:

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