aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Exactly - i havent put a foot wrong last month and shes seen the change. Im just down after spending all the time at christmas together she isnt doing anything now, but she tells me she will Divorce - she just says shel give it time Mid You know me, I`m not all the others on here. Another question?... Why do you feel down after spending time with her? See my drift? Be HAPPY that you GOT to spend time with her!!! Don`t be down now.!!!! Be the opposite!! You think she really wants to get get back with you while you are, let`s face it, (again) needy, clingy, wanting? She has you right where she wants you. YOU on the other hand, are right where, again, she wants you. Mid , its time for you to grow a pair, man up. aM
Author mid-divorce Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Your right - i need to at least start acting happy and confident. Timesclaes of D: July - Goes to solicitor Sep - She starts process of Mediation Oct - I return Petition - She gets notice to affidavit Nov - Tells me she has sent affidavit back Jan - Court still not recieved affidavit Timescales of Us: July - Moves out, hates me Aug - Still hates Sep - Says she wants be friends [Poss ex on the seen] Nov - Says shes not ruling out us being back together and a family but doesnt feel that way currently Dec - Starts to spend time as afamily together Jan - Telling me she will go on holiday, but still doesnt feel like she wants me and she is happy in her life now
whichwayisup Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Why should he be happy to spend time with her, when she is the one calling the shots? They aren't going on date nights, going for dinner.. He asked her not too long ago to get together and she said she was too busy..That "we'll see how things go." His wife IS detached from him. She's treated him like crap, she's go go go one minute and leave me alone the next minute. I wish you'd stop giving him hope, he's clutching a straws here.. Nothing in the past xx amount of months shows that she is moving back home to be with him. Her actions (which DO include another man, aka "the friend" is still in her life) have shown him more than words...And that's not saying much. She calls, he goes running. He calls her, she backs off. That isn't a woman who is jumping to get back together with her husband. Sorry, agree to disagree here.
Author mid-divorce Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Everything whichway up has put is true. I do believe the other guy is definatly out the picture now tho, thats one thing she seems to have told the truth about. And i do know her childrens happiness is important too her - which is why she is finding it hard to toally go one way 1
whichwayisup Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 And this is why you need to stop spending time with her. Only deal with her when it comes to the kids. She is seeing the other man. She doesn't get to see you as well. Let her live life without you in it! Right now she is having her cake and eating it too, though not in the typical way.. Tell her that you love her but can't and won't be around her as long as she's with the OM. Ask her to be honest. How serious are they? Has he been around the kids? If he has, he shouldn't be, that's just wrong. 1
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Why should he be happy to spend time with her, when she is the one calling the shots? They aren't going on date nights, going for dinner.. He asked her not too long ago to get together and she said she was too busy..That "we'll see how things go." His wife IS detached from him. She's treated him like crap, she's go go go one minute and leave me alone the next minute. I wish you'd stop giving him hope, he's clutching a straws here.. Nothing in the past xx amount of months shows that she is moving back home to be with him. Her actions (which DO include another man, aka "the friend" is still in her life) have shown him more than words...And that's not saying much. She calls, he goes running. He calls her, she backs off. That isn't a woman who is jumping to get back together with her husband. Sorry, agree to disagree here. Maybe your right. Ok mid listen to the advice you are getting from the `experts` cos they know best aM
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 2 months ago i was in the EXACT position you are NOW. Now my was `STBEW` is wearing her rings again and asking me ME, when we can be together again so NO whichway Whats WRONG in giving him hope??? I never have gave him false hope, Least i gave him some hope. Unlike you, always see the negative in it all don`t you? Don`t live your life out in others ok?? aM
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Mid i`ll bet my house on you reconcilling , aM
whichwayisup Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Maybe your right. Ok mid listen to the advice you are getting from the `experts` cos they know best aM Don't make this personal, k. The guy can read all kinds of advice. You know nothing about my life, never had to deal with the stuff you both are dealing with, so don't go assuming things about me. My H and I have been together for almost 20 years. My advice is just that. Mid can take it or leave it.
whichwayisup Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 2 months ago i was in the EXACT position you are NOW. Now my was `STBEW` is wearing her rings again and asking me ME, when we can be together again so NO whichway Whats WRONG in giving him hope??? I never have gave him false hope, Least i gave him some hope. Unlike you, always see the negative in it all don`t you? Don`t live your life out in others ok?? aM I don't always see the negative. IN this situation, she's moved out, filed for divorce (though no follow up), makes no time for him when he wants to see her, she's treated him poorly, shows NO remorse about the OM, in fact, he's still in the picture. She admitted this to him too. How is that me being negative? Of course I would like to see his marriage work, keep the family unit as one, together under one roof. But reality is, at least right now, it's not happening. She calls the shots here. He wants his marriage, she isn't sure what (who) she wants. Again, how is me pointing out the obvious being negative?
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) Don't make this personal, k. The guy can read all kinds of advice. You know nothing about my life, never had to deal with the stuff you both are dealing with, so don't go assuming things about me. My H and I have been together for almost 20 years. My advice is just that. Mid can take it or leave it. touche ok??? Don`t get above yourself whichwayisup! i didn`t say you were the 1 did i? get off your horse aM Edited January 7, 2013 by aMguilts
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I don't always see the negative. IN this situation, she's moved out, filed for divorce (though no follow up), makes no time for him when he wants to see her, she's treated him poorly, shows NO remorse about the OM, in fact, he's still in the picture. She admitted this to him too. How is that me being negative? Of course I would like to see his marriage work, keep the family unit as one, together under one roof. But reality is, at least right now, it's not happening. She calls the shots here. He wants his marriage, she isn't sure what (who) she wants. Again, how is me pointing out the obvious being negative? are you living with them? no? So how can you `judge` when you dont know it ALL? yeah it`s quite easy to stand on the sideline line and throw things across. at least have the sense to back up what you are saying aM
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) Mid carry on as you are Forget whatever i ever said to you. naw scrap that. mid, you need to see things the way they are, not always in colour, not always black and white. You need to see things in your own vision, it`s hard to explain! For now, Just be happy with what you got. Again, be happy. It can be gone in the blink of eye, remember that aM Edited January 7, 2013 by aMguilts
Author mid-divorce Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Hi guys, thankyou all for the varied responses, it what i need to mąkę my own choices. For now im still prepared to give it my best shot, that way of it doesnt work out i know i couldnt have done more. She actualy txtd me out the blue earlier to say she will look i to a break or holiday for us.
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Hi guys, thankyou all for the varied responses, it what i need to mąkę my own choices. For now im still prepared to give it my best shot, that way of it doesnt work out i know i couldnt have done more. She actualy txtd me out the blue earlier to say she will look i to a break or holiday for us. and thats a good thing? or i might be wrong and i should just shut up? Ome thing i WILL say thou, just because she text that, doesn`t mean you HAVE to reply to it. She wants this time? thats REALLY good. It`s a new year , or at least the start of it? You need to start being the way you were when she 1st met you. make sense? aM
Author mid-divorce Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 I get you, your right. I do think there is a chance, but i also think od something better comes along she wont look ba k. My son is desperate for us all b together n that keeps me gping
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I get you, your right. I do think there is a chance, but i also think od something better comes along she wont look ba k. My son is desperate for us all b together n that keeps me gping `if something better comes along`?? is that what you meant? aM
Author mid-divorce Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Yeah, sorry having use a new phone . Im gping take the chance, i dont think i could get more hurt anyway
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Yeah, sorry having use a new phone . Im gping take the chance, i dont think i could get more hurt anyway wanna bet?? aM
Author mid-divorce Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 U think i can? Me ending it now, wont mąkę anything easier, ill just never know od i tried i could have been with my family
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Divorce is NOTHING compared to what you COULD be going through believe me!! And lets face it, you aren`t even going through divorce , are you?? Mid you have a chance, don`t let it slip away Life EVERY day as if it`s your last, cos one day it will be aM
Author mid-divorce Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Please explain. What i could b gping tbrough
aMguilts Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 U think i can? Me ending it now, wont mąkę anything easier, ill just never know od i tried i could have been with my family mid?? Grow up ok?? aM
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