Wife divorcing me

[Steen719]

Dear Steen,

 

As is evident, aM has flown the Coop with his mania and Split Personalities. Don't take it "personally," Steen, he's just biting himself. Self-mutilation can often be an indication of a psychological disorder. Perhaps the highrise silhouette landscape will appear, and "Downtown" will enlighen us on the specific BPD symptoms aM is presenting.

 

thank you, Yas..I am always left saying what the heck was that? Oh well!

[Yasuandio]

thank you, Yas..I am always left saying what the heck was that? Oh well!

 

Glad to back you up, Steen. Even glad to back aM up for that matter - when called for.

 

No matter how strange, deranged, mixed-up, rattled, unsettled, forgetful, needy, desparate, cautious, paranoid, backwards or whatever our OP's present us, they are here for one reason - to reach out.

 

Advice comes in many forms and styles, from many perspectives. We really do not know who is behind either screen. But one thing is for sure - chance brings two unique screens of experience together for the entire community to view - the site's content is here also for the benefit of the community posters and non-posters alike.

 

Sometimes, the OP cannot swollow the advice provided on their thread, or simply do not yet comprehend it at the moment, day, week, or year it appears. Sometimes they cannot hear the advice. Sometimes the advice scares them. Sometimes the advice angers them. Sometimes they are simply not ready to apply the advice. But contributing to the thread you are studying, in this case, Mid's thread, is a good faith practice - that you clearly enjoy, and that other's benefit from, including myself. I want you to know how much I appreciate you, Steen!

[Steen719]

Glad to back you up, Steen. Even glad to back aM up for that matter - when called for.

 

No matter how strange, deranged, mixed-up, rattled, unsettled, forgetful, needy, desparate, cautious, paranoid, backwards or whatever our OP's present us, they are here for one reason - to reach out.

 

Advice comes in many forms and styles, from many perspectives. We really do not know who is behind either screen. But one thing is for sure - chance brings two unique screens of experience together for the entire community to view - the site's content is here also for the benefit of the community posters and non-posters alike.

 

Sometimes, the OP cannot swollow the advice provided on their thread, or simply do not yet comprehend it at the moment, day, week, or year it appears. Sometimes they cannot hear the advice. Sometimes the advice scares them. Sometimes the advice angers them. Sometimes they are simply not ready to apply the advice. But contributing to the thread you are studying, in this case, Mid's thread, is a good faith practice - that you clearly enjoy, and that other's benefit from, including myself. I want you to know how much I appreciate you, Steen!

 

How very nice of you, Yas. Thank you.

[aMguilts]

hey steen ,

 

like yas said don`t take it personally.

 

i guess i can be `argumentative` . I have my views and you have yours.

Neither you or i are both right and wrong at the same time.

 

No one on this earth can say without doubt, what the right thing is to do in any given situation

if i have offended you with my views then i apologise, that was not my intent.

 

And yas, as for myself having `split personalities` ?? lol

Show me just 1 person that hasn`t?

We ALL tell `little white lies` every single day.

Someone asks you " are you ok?" , we lie. "yeah i`m ok" , even when we are not.

No one is perfect, to be at part at peace with yourself (Not you specifically yas, just everyone in general) is at least 1 step to being or at least recognising that your human.

 

I have my faults. i can be the biggest `charlie uniform november tango` going sometimes!! But i still bleed when cut, i still hurt when i`m down.

 

aM

[aMguilts]

Dear Steen,

 

As is evident, aM has flown the Coop with his mania and Split Personalities. Don't take it "personally," Steen, he's just biting himself. Self-mutilation can often be an indication of a psychological disorder. Perhaps the highrise silhouette landscape will appear, and "Downtown" will enlighen us on the specific BPD symptoms aM is presenting.

 

As for this, i`m just going to ignore it cos it makes no sense whatsoever.

 

didn`t know you were a doctor yas?

 

it`s bad enough my own doctor can`t find whats wrong with me without you diagnosing me whn you don`t even know me.

 

But thank you for your insight, i`ll take it on board:rolleyes:

 

aM

[Yasuandio]

As for this, i`m just going to ignore it cos it makes no sense whatsoever.

 

didn`t know you were a doctor yas?

 

it`s bad enough my own doctor can`t find whats wrong with me without you diagnosing me whn you don`t even know me.

 

But thank you for your insight, i`ll take it on board:rolleyes:

 

aM

 

Coop, I really should not have posted that. I was ticked off when I saw you had hurt Steen's feelings for no reason at all. Yes, I am a doctor, but not a medical doctor, my Ph.D. is in Measurement, Assessment and Evaluation. However, I am bi-polar for sure. I know mania when I see it. Try to be nice to nice people. Everyone is here comes for support. Again, I am very sorry for that negative, unnecessary post you cited. I have not been feeling well. Yas

 

Edit. This business is all behind us, now. Let's get on with Mid's crisis, ok?

Edited January 15, 2013 by Yasuandio

[mid-divorce]

Think Ur all right, unfortunaty i can help tthé eat i feel, hence me seeking help. Before all this i was à dell balanced person whod do anything for m'y family, but all this Had destroyed me

[Yasuandio]

Think Ur all right, unfortunaty i can help tthé eat i feel, hence me seeking help. Before all this i was à dell balanced person whod do anything for m'y family, but all this Had destroyed me

 

First of all, - this post is hard to read. Not typed carefully.

 

You claim you "WERE" a balanced person. (I assume that has changed. But it doesn't have to stay that way, you can be in control, if you want to be).

 

 

You would do anything for your family? (Is that still true?)

 

All this has destroyed you. Be that as it may, are you willing to make the proper efforts to take care of yourself and your children? Or have you given up?

 

When I see someone posting on LS, I take it as a sign that they are reaching out for help - and have not given up. The next step is to apply the assistance you have been provided.

 

Can you articulate, in a post, the direction LS'ers have provided you? In a list format? I ask you to do that to see what you've absorbed. Then we can go from there, and I will try to also help, if you would like. Yas

[aMguilts]

Coop, I really should not have posted that. I was ticked off when I saw you had hurt Steen's feelings for no reason at all. Yes, I am a doctor, but not a medical doctor, my Ph.D. is in Measurement, Assessment and Evaluation. However, I am bi-polar for sure. I know mania when I see it. Try to be nice to nice people. Everyone is here comes for support. Again, I am very sorry for that negative, unnecessary post you cited. I have not been feeling well. Yas

 

Edit. This business is all behind us, now. Let's get on with Mid's crisis, ok?

 

hey yas.

how did i hurt `steens` feelings ??

I`m getting, yet again... an infraction. for me being me

 

I can`t say ANYTHING unless it goes with what most agree with on here.

 

So i`m just going to agree with whatever EVERYONE says on here

 

YOU ARE ALL RIGHT

OP

 

just agree with what everyone says

 

aM

[aMguilts]

Think Ur all right, unfortunaty i can help tthé eat i feel, hence me seeking help. Before all this i was à dell balanced person whod do anything for m'y family, but all this Had destroyed me

 

mid

 

just ****ing grow a pair ok.

 

stop being a wimp

 

aM

[aMguilts]

Coop, I really should not have posted that. I was ticked off when I saw you had hurt Steen's feelings for no reason at all. Yes, I am a doctor, but not a medical doctor, my Ph.D. is in Measurement, Assessment and Evaluation. However, I am bi-polar for sure. I know mania when I see it. Try to be nice to nice people. Everyone is here comes for support. Again, I am very sorry for that negative, unnecessary post you cited. I have not been feeling well. Yas

 

Edit. This business is all behind us, now. Let's get on with Mid's crisis, ok?

 

you know ****, so how dare you define me!!!

 

who the hell do you think you are to judge me???

 

 

aM

Edited January 15, 2013 by aMguilts

[ataloss8270]

Think Ur all right, unfortunaty i can help tthé eat i feel, hence me seeking help. Before all this i was à dell balanced person whod do anything for m'y family, but all this Had destroyed me

 

Mid, this is the problem, you're allowing it to destroy you. You need to work on you for you and heal yourself or your wife won't want you anyways. And even then if you don't reconcile at least your doing things to be happy. I understand what it's like to be sitting in limbo, my wife is doing it to me right now. And its hard. She says she done but yet talks to me every other day ( i dont answer her right away, but she answers me in a heartbeat. And I let her start the conversations) and spends time with me every once and a while. And I leave all relationship BS out of the mix right now because I know she is really hurt and those wounds take time to heal. So I am being patient with her and avoiding anything that will make her file. Like I said if they are really done they wouldn't be talking to you. NC is not the way to go IMO, because if you do she will just move on, without keeping yourself in the picture and reminding her your still there. I know I'm playing a dangerous game with my heart but that's OK with me because I know I'm doing it. But I'm still doing a lot for me.

 

IMO a good self-help book for you to read right now is called "taming your gremlin". Its really help me with what I'm going threw. It teaches you how to tame your subconscious so you stop listen and believing all your negative thoughts, like things you have said "she probably out looking for a better man right now" or "she was out all night last night". Who cares, man up and stop reading into your own thoughts right now. And it also helps you understand that everyone's personalities are just acts, and how to find the natural you behind your own act and habits. And how to break threw subconscious habits that were cemented in place from your childhood. If you do order it, read it for you not for her image of you.

 

I know your hurt right now mid. But unless you become you for you, you will never love yourself. And she will never fall in love with you again. Who can respect and love someone that doesn't love and respect themselves.

Edited January 15, 2013 by ataloss8270

[Yasuandio]

Dear Mid,

 

Ataloss has just provided a very thoughtful post. I would like to challange yo to provide a response to each thoughtful post you receive such as this. Consider demonstrating that you have read each, one at a time - and express your reaction, and in how you interpret the information that has been provided to you. I believe this is going to be more helpful exercise for you.

 

This thread is 26 pages long. I, therefore, again, also challenge you to articulate in perhaps a list format, a summary of what has been suggested to you thus far - so we might, as a forum, assess what you have absorbed.

 

Finially, I want to comment on a more flippent posting you just received from aM (aka Coop) which I found less than helpful, and closer to the posting of a "troll." Sometimes, when a man has to state, time after time, the pop culture expression: "grow a pair," it can be an indication that he may be obsessed with this particular area of the male anatomy. It has nothing to do with you or your thread, Mid. Just ignore, don't take it personally.

 

Now, I hope you will consider takeing the "driver's seat, and institute some pro-active steps with the wealth of outstanding information that is already available within this thread. Do you like my ideas? Can you do this? Yas

[mid-divorce]

I think it could be very useful, I will when I'm next at my pc, on my mobile moment

[Steadfast]

There's little on the last few pages to help you Mid. And you need help.

 

When I was going through my separation and divorce, a very dear friend told me 'It can, and probably will get worse.' That's the last thing I wanted or needed to hear...or so I thought. We can be our own worst enemy.

 

Your actions and mindset threaten to take you down a path of continued suffering. Yet, because of your situation, self-inflicting pain isn't the worst thing you can do. By setting what remains of your life on fire, you not only put your future at risk, but inflict pain and suffering onto your innocent children. They may already wonder if they are the reason for the breakup. You leaving their lives will cement that as fact. You are punishing the wrong people...the wrong thing. It's a trap to get you in deeper. Go back.

 

Fight being masochistic. Fight to retain your manhood. Talking to your doctor was a good first step. Reject these feelings of self-loathing punishment. You and your wife didn't create those children, God did. They ARE NOT yours to destroy. Do you hear me? Do you understand this path leads to never recovering? You must be stronger than what is attacking you. You must want to be stronger. Then apply what is needed to succeed.

 

No matter what she does, you are their father. If you make good on this weak and pitiful threat, you will regret it.

Edited January 15, 2013 by Steadfast

[whichwayisup]

hey yas.

how did i hurt `steens` feelings ??

I`m getting, yet again... an infraction. for me being me

 

I can`t say ANYTHING unless it goes with what most agree with on here.

 

So i`m just going to agree with whatever EVERYONE says on here

 

YOU ARE ALL RIGHT

OP

 

just agree with what everyone says

 

aM

 

What helps is, focusing only the person who needs the help. Avoid picking apart other people's replies and agreeing or disagreeing with them. If everybody did this, much of the arguing and infractions would disappear. That's what I'm trying to do, just help the person who needs help..And in this case, MID really needs everybody. Let him decide what advice he wants to take and if it's helpful or not.

[whichwayisup]

I think it could be very useful, I will when I'm next at my pc, on my mobile moment

 

Ahh, explains the typo's!

 

How are you doing today?

[Yasuandio]

There's little on the last few pages to help you Mid. And you need help.

 

When I was going through my separation and divorce, a very dear friend told me 'It can, and probably will get worse.' That's the last thing I wanted or needed to hear...or so I thought. We can be our own worst enemy.

 

Your actions and mindset threaten to take you down a path of continued suffering. Yet, because of your situation, self-inflicting pain isn't the worst thing you can do. By setting what remains of your life on fire, you not only put your future at risk, but inflict pain and suffering onto your innocent children. They may already wonder if they are the reason for the breakup. You leaving their lives will cement that as fact. You are punishing the wrong people...the wrong thing. It's a trap to get you in deeper. Go back.

 

Fight being masochistic. Fight to retain your manhood. Talking to your doctor was a good first step. Reject these feelings of self-loathing punishment. You and your wife didn't create those children, God did. They ARE NOT yours to destroy. Do you hear me? Do you understand this path leads to never recovering? You must be stronger than what is attacking you. You must want to be stronger. Then apply what is needed to succeed.

 

No matter what she does, you are their father. If you make good on this weak and pitiful threat, you will regret it.

 

Mid,

 

Here is a another very good post for you to specifically respond to, point by point! It is receiving a lot of "likes" as well. When you get to the PC, take this one apart. Some things he/she says are interesting (although, upon reflection, I do not fancy the color of some of a some statements, but to each his own).

 

Here are a some interesting points that stand out to me:

 

"Masochistic."

"Fight to retain your manhood."

"They (your chilren presumably) are not yours to destroy."

"...weak, pitiful theat, you will regret it."

 

Even God is cited in Steadfast's post. Mid, what do you think of Steadfast's post?

 

Now, I am asking you very directly, are you really going to carry out with the "threat" Steadfast has referred to? Seriously?

 

I hope you will respond to this question right away. Because, you can see that LS member's are concerned and worried about you. I also can tell you one very active LS member in particular has personally texted me about their concern for you. That is why I am trying to help in my own way. Yas

Edited January 15, 2013 by Yasuandio

[trippi1432]

Think Ur all right, unfortunaty i can help tthé eat i feel, hence me seeking help. Before all this i was à dell balanced person whod do anything for m'y family, but all this Had destroyed me

 

I think it could be very useful, I will when I'm next at my pc, on my mobile moment

 

Hi Mid - I'm glad you are getting help, we've all needed it at one point in our life and yes, the situation you are under can make any well-balanced person feel destroyed. A lot of people here can empathize with that.

 

This doesn't have to mean that you are not well-balanced, you are going through an extremely stressful event. There are many here that will tell you that they gained great strength in their children that helped them through the tough times too.

 

Yas has given you a great task....a very useful one, she's a sharp cookie. I hope that you will take this on and respond to the useful responses here.

[aMguilts]

mid.

 

This thread of yours seems to be my `achilles heel`

for not matter what i say i just get

stuff thown back in my face for whatever i reply.

 

but thats ok.

There are a lot of warmongers on here that , in my personal view, should keep their own lives to themselves and not try to live it through others

 

But again, thats just a view of mine

 

I`ll stick to what i have said to you.

 

and always will

 

aM

[aMguilts]

What helps is, focusing only the person who needs the help. Avoid picking apart other people's replies and agreeing or disagreeing with them. If everybody did this, much of the arguing and infractions would disappear. That's what I'm trying to do, just help the person who needs help..And in this case, MID really needs everybody. Let him decide what advice he wants to take and if it's helpful or not.

 

TOUCHE???!!!!! or not?

 

like i have always NEVER tried to help this guy????

 

Maybe NOT in the way EVERYONE else was deemed `fit?`?

 

But in MY own way? Not `liked` by EVERYone else on here but you really think i give a s**t????

long as the OP likes it , thats ALL that matters to me!!!!

 

aM

[mid-divorce]

Im still on my mobile, but thé latest, we r going out for the day this weekend n es r having à 4 night break together in a des weeks

[ataloss8270]

That's good to hear. Just remember to be patient with her, and leave all the relationship BS behind you for now. And just relax and be the best you, you can be.

[aMguilts]

That's good to hear. Just remember to be patient with her, and leave all the relationship BS behind you for now. And just relax and be the best you, you can be.

 

what he said ^^

 

Be happy and just enjoy the time with her. Don`t bring up anything to do with what is going on.

 

Hope you have a good time.

 

aM

[Gaz1]

How's things mid? Anymore news