orangecrush70 Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Help!! I have been married for ten years. My husband had an affair 8 years ago and since we have stayed together and worked it out. I forgave (didn't forget). I have been completely faithful to him and never doubted my love for him. We have had our ups and downs and have always worked through them. My problem is this, I think I am in love with someone else. Or at the very least have strong feelings. We go camping every couple of weeks with a group of friends, all of us are married with kids. One of our friends comes without his wife, they are on the edge of a divorce, she doesn't want to go anywhere with him and she takes alot of trips else where with out him. They have been married for 22 years. We talk alot when we are camping and there is alot of those looks between us. I can not get him out of my mind. I dream about him and constantly think of what my life would be like with him. I really don't know what to do. I love my husband. But, we have gone through so much that sometimes I think I would love to be with someone that I don't have such a negative history with. (ie: The Affair) I have really tried to put it behind me but I always have my suspicions. The trust is not really there. And even more so now because I have these other feelings for the first time. And I think what would stop him again. Please help!! Link to post Share on other sites
nalbano3 Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 THIS SOUNDS SO FAMILIAR.....I HAVE THE REVERSE ISSUE!!!! MY WIFE AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 9 YEARS AND WE HAVE HAD AN EXTREMELY ROCKY RELATIONSHIP ON AND OFF FOR SOME TIME. WE HAVE A COUPLE WE LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH AND AND I ALWAYS NOTICED THE CLOSE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE MALE FRIEND AND MY WIFE BUT THEY ALWAYS SAID I WAS PARANOID. THIS PAST SAT. NIGHT I RAN OUT OF CIGARETTTES AND WENT TO LOOK FOR SOME IN A JACKET POCKET AND FOUND SOME CARDS SHE HAD WRITTENTHAT WHERE WAY TOO EMOTIONAL FOR ME TO DEAL WITH. SHE HAS TOLD ME THAT IT WAS DUE TO THE FACT THAT SHE NEEDED SOMETHING TO CLING TO IN THE TRAMATIC PERIOD AND CAME TO HER SENSES AND JUST FORGOT ABOUT THE CARDS. I HAVE MY DOUBTS BUT WAS MOST UPSET BY THE FACT OF HER NOT TELLING ME ABOUT THE SITUATION. THAT IS MY ANSWER......PLEASE LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AS IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT TO DO WITHOUT FIRST FINDING WHERE THE 2 OF U STAND. YOU DO AT LEAST OWE THAT TO AN INDIVIDUAL WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED. HAVE YOU BEEN WITH HIM PHYSICALLY YET? LET ME KNOW THE OUTCOME BECAUSE IT COULD HELP IN MY SITUATION. THANKS Link to post Share on other sites
Author orangecrush70 Posted August 2, 2004 Author Share Posted August 2, 2004 No I haven't been with him physically. I really don't know if it is an infatuation or if there is really something there. I know my husband would be devastated if I told him, after everything we have gone through. This other man is one of the kindest, nicest person I have ever met. We laugh alot and I really enjoy his company. I also really feel for his situation where it seems there is no love anymore in his life. I don't know what to do. This other man probably doesn't even feel the way I do and I probably am just infatuated. Who knows???? Link to post Share on other sites
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