How to gain confidence when I have turner syndrome?

[LucyMcGoose]

I have no friends, get laughed at often for looking different:/

How do I deal?

[josie54]

Hi Lucy,

 

I was unfamiliar with Turner syndrome, and so, I looked it up to get more information. I don't know to what extent you are affected by TS--the people pictured on the Turner Syndrome Society's Web site did not actually look very different from most people, so also be aware that many people who DON'T have TS are worried about their looks. And you very well may look better than they do!

 

That said, there's no doubt that dealing with such a genetic disadvantage would be incredibly difficult, especially one that affects one's physical features. And people are cruel--especially kids and teenagers. I'm assuming that you are younger, given how short your post is, so let me know I'm wrong there.

 

Regardless of your age--or the extent of the difficulties you face--you can make friends by reaching out to people and simply being a good person. Don't withdraw into yourself. People often respond to your actions as much as your physical appearance, and if you reach out warmly people generally respond with warmth--eventually. Remember, most people are uncomfortable with those who are different than they are and they might not respond at first. But if you reach out regularly, you will win them over.

 

Also, those who laugh at you...do they know you have TS? Sometimes people are mean out of ignorance. You could also try being upfront--say something like, "Are you laughing because I have Turner syndrome? Do you know what it means to be born with Turner syndrome? It means..." and then educate them a little. Once people understand you, they will be much less likely to laugh and more likely to be friendly. You can actually become the best teacher about TS and advocate for others in your situation--and you can make friends in that process.

 

Have you contacted organizations that work with individuals with Turner syndrome? (I got my quick one-minute education on the topic from the Turner Syndrome Society's Web site just now.) Do you meet with others in your situation, either in person, by e-mail, in online forums, or in other ways? It can always help if you interact with others who share your situation, so you can hear how they cope and just know you're not alone.

 

Do you have characteristics or abilities that you're especially proud of? Play those up...don't be afraid to try out for a play, take an art class, or something else you love. Really develop your passions and strengths. If you love fashion, find clothes you love. Do whatever makes you feel and look your best.

 

There will always be mean people out there--but there will also always be really great people who just need to get to know you. Educate the ignorant ones and keep smiling and reaching out to find the good ones. You've been dealt a card you can't change, unfortunately. To deal with that, you may have to work harder than others to feel comfortable with yourself. But the best way to "deal," as you say, is to change your mindset and view yourself as a great person with something great to share with the people you meet.

 

My best to you,

Josie