3 Years Later, My Heartbreak Returns

[gaudi]

Hello, I need help

 

I used to post on this forum, just under 3 years ago, when my ex and I split up. I was in a dark place, and it wasn't getting any better.

 

The advice I got from knowledgable and caring people on here helped me so much, I cannot thank them enough, they helped me so much, it took time, but gradually, I got over my loss. I was the dumpee in this one BTW.

 

I moved on with my life, to an extent, I still work the job I did then, which wasn't ideal as my ex worked the same place. It was only a case of I would bump into her every couple of weeks or so, I didn't like it. But I would smile and be polite (as would she) and it looked like we had both found a way to move on without each other.

 

I took the advice of most people on here, who told me I should focus on the things I wanted to do with my life, travel being the main one. So I did. I went to China. Not long after that I visited Japan. I've now been to numerous places in Europe and South America too. I've had amazing times, seen amazing things and made amazing friends. I was doing fine.

 

Until a couple of weeks ago. Someone in work mentioned my ex was going to live and start a new life in the middle east. She's there now. And for some f**king weird reason, all of my heartbreak and feelings from three years ago have returned. I'm back in the same dark place I was in back then.

 

I don't know what to do. I thought I had healed. I'm distraught here.

 

I know and have accepted that she and I will never be back together. So why the fk am I doing all the old ***** from back then ? Having imaginary conversations with her. Asking myself what I would do differently if I could turn back the clock (I've yet to find a clock that runs backwards BTW). Pondering asking her friends about her. What's up with me amigos ???

 

Please help x

[gaudi]

oh come on chums, someone can help me out on this one surely ???

[M30USA]

All I know is there is often a disconnect between the mind and the heart. The mind may tell us to do one thing (or that one thing is better for us), while our heart may say something else. Generally, the mind should be the leader. And the heart should follow after it. But sometimes things happen which really bring everything to the surface and grasp at the heart and really make the mind wonder what it should be doing. I think her moving away to the Middle East is a finality. You may have understood it being over in your mind, but your heart was still tagging along the old pattern while you were with her. That's my take at least.