Why am I too old for younger women?

[mesmerized]

" If you want to have a successful relationship, then you're going to have to change."

 

You mean coloring my hair and lying about my age?? I'm considering it.

 

Do it. Get a facelift too. Oh and another tip, Don't talk too much or even at all (some types of "rationality" better stay in the head, physicians say). You would probably appear way more attractive with a closed mouth and possibly a fake smile.

[EasyHeart]

But, my sister married a man twenty-three years older than she is. They met online through a pen-pal list.

Was he in prison?

 

Or was it your sister?

[123321]

99% of the time women find men more than ten years their senior to be physically repulsive. Period. Question answered.

 

Whether he's smart, funny, kind, athletic, educated, cultured, in great shape physically, whether he loves dating grandmothers too, whether he adopts stray kittens, whether she has no other dating options, is all simply irrelevant.

 

Older, as in 10 years, is repulsive.

 

Honestly it seems to be mostly you.

 

 

You are making a very serious mistake if you take what you find on this particular forum dispositive in that regard. Only up close and personal experience is going to answer that question truthfully for you in your case.

 

Lol.

 

 

I look a heck of a lot better than Alec Baldwin and how does being a famous author turn you from physically repulsive to physically attractive, from creepy to hot?

 

Prestige and charm.

 

 

What's interesting to me is the fixation that men in their 50s and 60s and older seem to have on youth.

 

Guys ALL age like youth. That's why sports illustrated, Playboy, and Maxim and so on have models that are typically pretty young and fit.

[harrydubois]

Oh, now I get it! "OLD" means "online dating"! I couldn't figure out why that was all in caps.

 

But anyway, this whole "discussion" is a little confusing to say the least.

 

I asked I thought a fairly simple question.

 

Then I'm hit with a barrage of questions: Why don't I date women my own age? Or much older?

 

Then I was told that no woman will like me because I don't like old women.

 

Or that young women won't like me because I'm ugly.

 

But they might think I'm not ugly if I'm charming. Or maybe not.

 

Also I don't have enough in common with them. Unless they just like me anyway.

 

But middle aged men who like young women are creepy. Or not.

 

And movies are made by old men perverts.

 

And on and on.

 

May I make an observation: women really don't know what they want. If they like you they like you; that's it. The only rule is there are no rules.

[Janesays]

I know what I like. Men my own age. Like I said before, I can't speak for others.

[EasyHeart]

May I make an observation: women really don't know what they want. If they like you they like you; that's it. The only rule is there are no rules.

I think a more constructive way to look at it is that women are individuals and individuals are all different.

 

Most women (and men) have a pretty good idea of what they want; they just don't all want the same thing.

[harrydubois]

"Most women (and men) have a pretty good idea of what they want"

 

Men, I think yes. Young, beautiful and repsectful. And two out of three isn't bad.

 

Women, I'm not so sure. They will say one thing and tomorrow go out with the opposite because "I like him". Just my guess.

[xxoo]

May I make an observation: women really don't know what they want. If they like you they like you; that's it. The only rule is there are no rules.

 

May I make an observation?

 

We are all different women. We all have different reasons for not wanting to date you.

[Mme. Chaucer]

If the plot of AB was unbelievable and nonsensical, no one would have watched it. Do you see major blackbusters about 18 year old boys marrying 70 year old women? Why not? It's a movie so anything goes.

 

What about "Harold and Maude"? Not exactly a blockbuster, but a timeless, enduring cult treasure.

 

Anyway, "American Beauty" was a brilliant movie. It is a true work of art.

[Anela]

Was he in prison?

 

Or was it your sister?

 

Social phobic sister. I think he took advantage of that, and her, but he means the world to her. Even though he hit on me, and once said that he was in love with me, and didn't feel that way about her (she thinks I should just get over that, it's in the past, and he didn't mean it... whatever).

 

She could have had anyone she wanted - guys were tripping over themselves to talk to her, and seemed to be instantly smitten, because she is/was soooo pretty. It was amusing at the time. My dad thinks he took advantage of her, too, and doesn't like him.

[dasein]

Oh, now I get it! "OLD" means "online dating"! I couldn't figure out why that was all in caps.

 

That you hadn't yet learned this redoubles my advice that you need to get off the dating sites and out and about to determine what types or ages of women you can attract or not. FYI, there are certain "hard-coded" screens inherent in a majority of women doing online dating from 25-38 IME. They include height of 5'10", age of 40, body at least "average" and really "athletic and toned." If you can't meet one of these screens, and you fail the age one for sure, best to get out and pound the pavement. Online, they have hundreds of options who meet these screens mailing them. Offline, out and about, they are more flexible.

[EasyHeart]

"Most women (and men) have a pretty good idea of what they want"

 

Men, I think yes. Young, beautiful and repsectful. And two out of three isn't bad.

 

Women, I'm not so sure. They will say one thing and tomorrow go out with the opposite because "I like him". Just my guess.

That's what you want; it's not what "men" want. We're all different.

 

And keep in mind, you're not trying to date "women", you're trying to find one woman who is compatible with you.

[EasyHeart]

Social phobic sister. I think he took advantage of that, and her, but he means the world to her. Even though he hit on me, and once said that he was in love with me, and didn't feel that way about her (she thinks I should just get over that, it's in the past, and he didn't mean it... whatever).

 

She could have had anyone she wanted - guys were tripping over themselves to talk to her, and seemed to be instantly smitten, because she is/was soooo pretty. It was amusing at the time. My dad thinks he took advantage of her, too, and doesn't like him.

Yikes! I was just teasing.

 

That sounds awful.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Okay, you've convinced me. You are wrong. All of the young women who told you that you're too old for them were lying, and you actually are not too old for them. The fact "American Beauty," "Lost in Translation," and "Avatar" were box office successes prove it.

 

They all love you! Have your way with them!

[xxoo]

Online, they have hundreds of options who meet these screens mailing them. Offline, out and about, they are more flexible.

 

Online, they have nothing to go on except what is "on paper". How else can you weed through all those people?

 

In person, personality can shine and work its magic. Connections happen naturally, chemistry bubbles, and suddenly "good on paper" doesn't count for so much.

[threebyfate]

"Most women (and men) have a pretty good idea of what they want"

 

Men, I think yes. Young, beautiful and repsectful. And two out of three isn't bad.

 

Women, I'm not so sure. They will say one thing and tomorrow go out with the opposite because "I like him". Just my guess.

Translation - I'm an old guy who doesn't respect women.

 

Gee, one wonders why disrespect gets no dates, regardless of age.

[Mrlonelyone]

I think some here are taking the OP's preference personally.

 

The simple fact is in his age group 52 give or take say ten years... the women are much more likely to be taken and/or menopausal. (Which if he would like children menopause would be a reasonable deal breaker.)

 

If he wants a woman who can give him children biology dictates that he needs to find a woman who is in her 30's or so, date her for the months or years that it takes to build towards marriage. Then marry her, then after another year or two have the children. If he's really feeling the call to have kids a young woman is the answer.

 

To the OP there are young women out there who would give you a chance. Just don't fixate on the ones who will not.

Edited November 2, 2012 by Mrlonelyone

[harrydubois]

"They all love you! Have your way with them!"

 

Finally I find words of wisdom and true genius!! Thank you!

[Anela]

Yikes! I was just teasing.

 

That sounds awful.

 

She actually seems to be happy, and she isn't defenseless, but she chose him over a guy who was nine years older than her, and seemed to be a decent human being. I guess they have ways in which they're a good match, but the ******* really messed up my relationship with my sister, and she let him do it.

 

I knew you were kidding but the idea that he could have been in prison, isn't that far-fetched to me - but I really don't like the guy. My sister would have fit right in with Harry and the others here, who have decided that I am a bitter, ugly old shrew, who has no future, who is supposedly trying to ruin her happiness, all because I don't trust him (and because I can't get a man myself). I've had plenty of offers from men his age, younger and older, so she's off the mark there, but she has her reasons, so nothing's going to budge that.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Translation - I'm an old guy who doesn't respect women.

 

Gee, one wonders why disrespect gets no dates, regardless of age.

 

Yep. Hahaha. So men don't say one thing and do another? haha again. It's completely non gender specific.

[harrydubois]

Every female here is taking my words personally.

 

"What!! You don't like old women! Well I am or at least will be an old woman and I hate you, you disgusting pervert!"

[Anela]

I think some here are taking the OP's preference personally.

 

The simple fact is in his age group 52 give or take say ten years... the women are much more likely to be taken and/or menopausal. (Which if he would like children menopause would be a reasonable deal breaker.)

 

If he wants a woman who can give him children biology dictates that he needs to find a woman who is in her 30's or so, date her for the months or years that it takes to build towards marriage. Then marry her, then after another year or two have the children. If he's really feeling the call to have kids a young woman is the answer.

 

To the OP there are young women out there who would give you a chance. Just don't fixate on the ones who will not.

 

Actually, the OP seemed to take the preferences of the younger women he's unsuccessfully hit on, personally - that's why he started the thread.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

Then I'm hit with a barrage of questions: Why don't I date women my own age? Or much older?

 

 

The reason for that was to see if you'd understand why YOU might be "too old" for some women if you think about how YOU feel that some women are "too old" for you. It was done in an attempt to help you in your quest for comprehension. Not to try to get you to like older women.

 

Then I was told that no woman will like me because I don't like old women.

 

Not exactly, but many of us women don't think that is an admirable quality in men, whether we are young OR old women.

 

Or that young women won't like me because I'm ugly.

 

I don't think that was said. You're the one who brought "ugly" into it, when you expressed your opinion of women your age. Of course, it's possible that some women might have that opinion of you. I don't know. But obviously you regard "ugly" as reasonable grounds for rejection, especially when paired with "old."

 

May I make an observation: women really don't know what they want. If they like you they like you; that's it. The only rule is there are no rules.

 

Hm. Isn't that true for all people? Or do you think that all men act in a universally cohesive fashion? Not in my experience.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Online, they have nothing to go on except what is "on paper". How else can you weed through all those people?

 

In person, personality can shine and work its magic. Connections happen naturally, chemistry bubbles, and suddenly "good on paper" doesn't count for so much.

 

 

This is true. If I saw my boss's online profile, I would click next right away. In person, I was like crazy about him.

[threebyfate]

Every female here is taking my words personally.

 

"What!! You don't like old women! Well I am or at least will be an old woman and I hate you, you disgusting pervert!"

There hasn't been one female respondent who's as old as you are, so this would be an inaccurate representation of this thread.