Why am I too old for younger women?

[xxoo]

Harry! How are you doing your part to support the women suffering the disability of being born in the 1960s? Seems you could really help each other out.

 

Better yet, be a real stand up guy, and serve the women born in the 50s or 40s.

[GorillaTheater]

After much tribulation my eight-year relationship appears to be fairly resilient.

 

Pardon the threadjack, but I'm happy to hear that you and your husband appear to be getting back on track with each other, Dreaming.

 

Hopefully I'm not overstating any progress you two have made.

[sweetkiwi]

no sorry harry. Though you possess one of my favorite names i already have a loveshack crush. His name is hawaii50 and he's dreamy. And 30.

[Frank13]

Actually the only thing I'm getting from this forum is that women hate middle aged men who dislike middle aged women, probably because they know that it's a matter of time before that 40th birthday hits and they are terrified no one will want them.

 

Anyway, it's a shame that few people want to actually discuss my original question clearly and rationally.

 

I didn't read this entire thread either due to the things you mentioned above. Like you said, most women don't want to answer your question. They just want to attack you for not being attracted to older women.

 

I don't know if anyone gave this answer, so sorry if it has already been given.

 

The fact you like younger women is completely normal and natural, and here is why. The main drive, urge, and purpose of human beings is to reproduce. A man at 52 and higher can still reproduce. A woman at 50 can't.

 

Nature has made it so that people are attracted to those who will produce offspring. Women look for guys who they feel (even subsconscienc

[harrydubois]

30 is much to young for you. Obviously you need a man of great sophistication to properly operate all of your accessories. An experienced mechanic so to speak.

[darkmoon]

if you think your list of attributes sets you apart, it also makes you look egotistical, especially if acted out - you wanted honesty and so here it is

 

i know we all get old and must accept watching life from the sidelines, which is a lot less trouble - more honesty

[sweetkiwi]

well the last older guy i slept with was 42. Super adorable with gorgeous eyes and easily passed for 30s. He had a pencil dick and didn't know how to use it. The other much older guy was also 42 at the time, 23 years my senior, and he couldn't really **** either.

 

The best sex of my life was with a virgin. 21 years old. So experience means zip. Its all about being willing to please.

 

I'm a young woman and i understand why guys like younger women superficially.

But on a deeper level, unless she's incredibly wise, the 18 year old girls are good for fun. And if they're hot they don't want a man their fathers age. Unless they have daddy issues. So if i was you i'd be dating the sexy 30-40 something year olds out there. There are a lot.

[Frank13]

I accidently hit the enter key so my message got posted before I finished it and now it can't be edited so I will continue it.

 

Nature has made it so that people are attracted to those who will produce offspring. Women look for guys who they feel (even

 

Women look for guys who they feel (even subconsciously) will produce strong offspring (meaning, most likely to survive).

 

To this end, nature has made woman, who are too old to have kids, unattractive, or at least made the male to see them as unattractive.

 

This makes complete sense. Nature doesn't want a guy to be attracted to someone who can't reproduce. Nature wants him to be attracted to a woman who can reproduce.

 

So it is all quite natural and normal for the OP to be attracted to younger woman and for him to find woman his own age as ugly. It is not him. It is nature.

 

This does create a problem in that the OP would be settling if he were to be with a 50 year old which he would see as unattractive, but a 35-40 year old woman would also be settling if she was with a 52 year old guy, but he can at least reproduce.

[xxoo]

So it is all quite natural and normal for the OP to be attracted to younger woman and for him to find woman his own age as ugly. It is not him. It is nature.

 

There is a difference between "not sexually attractive to me" and "ugly".

 

I'm not sexually attracted to older men, but that doesn't mean I find them ugly.

 

And it is far more unnatural for a young woman to be sexually attracted to an old man than it is for an old man to be sexually attracted to an old woman.

[Anela]

I didn't read this entire thread either due to the things you mentioned above. Like you said, most women don't want to answer your question. They just want to attack you for not being attracted to older women.

 

We answered his question based on our own experiences, and as ES said: we're his target in terms of dating.

 

But some of you are determined to see this as hateful women picking on the guy, who just admitted that a young woman told him that he was too old for her!

 

*edit. Also, if men were supposed to reproduce into old age, then things like Viagra wouldn't be needed.

[FitChick]

If Harry is on Plenty of Fish, that might explain why he thinks there are no attractive women over 50. Stop being cheap and try a paid site.

 

Come to think of it, part of Harry's problem may be that he is a nurse and not a doctor.

[sweetkiwi]

maybe its a generational thing but i know many young women who prefer older men. Many men our own age closely resemble children emotionally. There are great guys out there my own age or close. Older men simply know how to treat a woman. I was dating a guy before i left for europe who was in his late 40s. He was caring, attentive, curious about me, and didn't try to stick his tongue down my throat.

 

I didn't really develop feelings for him. He was constantly trying to buy me which wasn't why i was dating him.

And he would talk about his daughter who was my age. Kinda weird for me. If i loved him i'm sure i could've overlooked it.

[Anela]

maybe its a generational thing but i know many young women who prefer older men. Many men our own age closely resemble children emotionally. There are great guys out there my own age or close. Older men simply know how to treat a woman. I was dating a guy before i left for europe who was in his late 40s. He was caring, attentive, curious about me, and didn't try to stick his tongue down my throat.

 

I didn't really develop feelings for him. He was constantly trying to buy me which wasn't why i was dating him.

And he would talk about his daughter who was my age. Kinda weird for me. If i loved him i'm sure i could've overlooked it.

 

I've never felt attracted to someone who could have been my father.

 

There have been numerous threads about older men wanting younger women, and it's been expressed more than once that older men are hot, older women are not - that the whole older woman/younger man thing is gross, whereas it's perfectly acceptable that older men want younger women.

[serial muse]

I accidently hit the enter key so my message got posted before I finished it and now it can't be edited so I will continue it.

 

 

 

Women look for guys who they feel (even subconsciously) will produce strong offspring (meaning, most likely to survive).

 

To this end, nature has made woman, who are too old to have kids, unattractive, or at least made the male to see them as unattractive.

 

This makes complete sense. Nature doesn't want a guy to be attracted to someone who can't reproduce. Nature wants him to be attracted to a woman who can reproduce.

 

So it is all quite natural and normal for the OP to be attracted to younger woman and for him to find woman his own age as ugly. It is not him. It is nature.

 

This does create a problem in that the OP would be settling if he were to be with a 50 year old which he would see as unattractive, but a 35-40 year old woman would also be settling if she was with a 52 year old guy, but he can at least reproduce.

 

And speaking of ugly and ancient, ye olde "science" cherry-picked to support questionable ideas of psychological evolution rears its ugly head again. Yay.

[dasein]

And speaking of ugly and ancient, ye olde "science" cherry-picked to support questionable ideas of psychological evolution rears its ugly head again. Yay.

 

Fair enough, but the "crooked sperm" retort is twaddle also. I don't go for the bio imperative arguments applied in any way, we have big brains that supposedly raise us above the fauna. Men are, in fact, capable of producing healthy offspring that have less chance of defect longer than women are. We die younger and suicide more, so there are tradeoffs.

[xxoo]

I seriously do not understand why men consider it an advantage to be fertile at 50 (even if the sperm is compromised, it can indeed make a baby).

 

Who wants a newborn at 50?! I've known some men who've done it, but it was not easy. The one guy is now in his late 60s with a 17 year old daughter Fun!

 

Date a sexy late your own age, and you don't have to worry about that madness.

Edited November 2, 2012 by xxoo

[scratch]

Interestingly, I just got an email from a 21 year old on a dating site (I am 36). Her profile said:

 

Why do the men between the ages of 34 and 45 (which is mainly what I am attracted to ) put that they are looking for women that are 25 & up .. It does suck that younger women are judged by their age before anything . I say If I live on my own pay all of my bills and take care of all of my expenses .. I shouldn't feel like I'm suppose to be watching Dora or something

[FitChick]

The breeding bit is relevant for older men who think they are getting a hot young chick who will want sex all the time. Hot, young, chicks are fertile and can get pregnant. That's the end of your sex life, her hot body and bank account, buddy!

[mesmerized]

I think its fine for people to date whoever they want as long as the relationship is healthy. But if you want to get young women and cant cause they cant stand your old age, or they want your money or are immature don't come here crying. Those all come with an age gap relationship. Personally I don't believe most age gap relationships are really healthy but I have also seen healthy ones.

 

As for telling these men to go for women their age, I think they better stay away, at least the old ones that post here. I see little charm, and little respect or real care for women. Its all about their penises. Who in Her right mind would want this long term? let the unlucky young girl they get deal with their snores and erection issues. More young ones for us to choose from!

[Frank13]

And speaking of ugly and ancient, ye olde "science" cherry-picked to support questionable ideas of psychological evolution rears its ugly head again. Yay.

 

My explanation was based on facts I learned in grade school. I couldn't believe no one on the thread had learned this or figured it out.

[Frank13]

Of course it's twaddle, but if we're going to go down this road, it should be noted that male fertility also goes to hell and not all women are reproductively done at 50 (though personally I think we should be, just to keep our sanity). The purpose of the post with the link to the article explaining decline in male fertility was simply to point out the silliness of assuming that everything can be reduced to reproduction. There are tons of beautiful women over 50. In fact, if it came down to it, I would guess there are more attractive women in that age group than men simply because women are primed from birth to fight the aging process.

 

You are totally wrong. I am surprrised at the lack of education people have received. The fact is there are many women here fearful of not getting a mate when they get older (you included) so they lash out at the OP for wanting a younger woman. To deny science because of your insecurities does not make the science invalid.

 

I think a woman's attractiveness peaks at 37-38. It is like a rose that has fully opened. From there it goes downhill

 

Also, a lot of woman just stop caring about themselves once they hit 40.

[Frank13]

maybe its a generational thing but i know many young women who prefer older men. Many men our own age closely resemble children emotionally. There are great guys out there my own age or close. Older men simply know how to treat a woman. I was dating a guy before i left for europe who was in his late 40s. He was caring, attentive, curious about me, and didn't try to stick his tongue down my throat.

 

 

Where are all the haters replying to this post?

[mesmerized]

Where are all the haters replying to this post?

 

No one said young women who like older men dont exist, just that they are rare. I have known many many young females and only one of them was willing to date a guy 20 years older and even she regretted it. The majority of women don't want that, period. Have you ever wondered why most women on old have age range preference specified? because they are tired of old farts messaging them and dont know how else to say "no".

[Anela]

You are totally wrong. I am surprrised at the lack of education people have received. The fact is there are many women here fearful of not getting a mate when they get older (you included) so they lash out at the OP for wanting a younger woman. To deny science because of your insecurities does not make the science invalid.

 

I think a woman's attractiveness peaks at 37-38. It is like a rose that has fully opened. From there it goes downhill

 

Also, a lot of woman just stop caring about themselves once they hit 40.

 

And the same goes for the majority of men!

 

I'm 37 and haven't felt so good in my skin for a couple of years, but that's due to several things. My responses to this thread had nothing to do with fears or not getting a man, and everything to do with my own experiences. I'm sick of being favourited by men on these sites who range from late 40's to early 60's for goodness sake. I've had younger men wanting to go out with me, too - I'm not dating right now, because of my own headspace, NOT from a lack of invitations.

 

The OP wants younger women, but he isn't getting them! What is it with you guys who just can't seem to read his post and understand that???

[dasein]

I have an MSc in Biological Anthropology (specifically Human Evolution and Behaviour, my thesis was on neurological sexual dimorphism) from UCL.

 

Didn't see geneticist in there anywhere but okie.

 

Even someone with a grade school education is presumably capable of reading the link you posted. Your own link states that sperm is 84% as good in a 50+ y.o. man as it is in a man in his 20s. Tell me, please, how viable are eggs in a 50+ y.o. woman compared to a woman in her 20s expressed as a %? Ouchie.

 

Men are simply more viable breeders than women as we age. Not the end of the world, not really dispositive of anything other than some rationale for a man who might be a late bloomer in the child seeking area to seek younger women, but a scientific fact nonetheless.