Moderators Curt Posted August 2, 2004 Moderators Share Posted August 2, 2004 O.K. Shack dwellers... I have read a huge number of posts from individuals of both sexes that say, "I want a good person, a romantic, honest, altruistic, trustworthy person..." ... yadda yadda. BUT... We all know that, in the end, people are NEVER perfect in character, looks, ppersonality, etc. SO... Question for all: What are some of the qualities in a person that are considered negotiable to you? In other words, what are the things are you WILLING to sacrifice to be with someone? What are things that you are willing to compromise on? Curt Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Well, that's an evolving list! It's like when we bought our house. I insisted on some things and as we looked at houses I adjusted what I HAD to have vs. what I COULD have. The next house we buy, the list will be different. I want bigger closets and I don't have to have a fireplace. When I was younger and dating my list was something like this: Non Negotiable: Sense of Humor Loves Animals Respectful Does not Drink to excess No pornography No drug use Negotiable: Finances (money didn't matter as long as we were together) Looks (I wasn't looking for Adonis) Career/job choice (dangerous, away from home a lot, etc.) Sex vs. celibacy (obviously!) Healthy life-style (ah, the young think they are invincible! Those fries come back! ) Now, if I were dating again and looking for a serious relationship: Non Negotiable:Financial security Loves Animals Sense of Humor No pornography Healthy lifestyle No drug use Negotiable: Looks Career choice Sex vs. celibacy (prefer celibacy, but if I were to ever fall in love, I might have sex again) Drinking Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 How often we socialize w/others as a couple. I still go out as much on my own but he's way more of a homebody so we only socialize as a couple once a month unless there is an event (i.e. wedding) Link to post Share on other sites
seahorse Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Hmmmm, a tricky one. Musts: sense of humour; be at least financially secure, (doesn't have to be rich!); love me unconditionally; like my kids; be reasonably healthy. Preferable but not essential: be around my age; hairy chested ; like animals; non smoker; like swimming/surfing/cycling/films and beachy stuff. Seahorse Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Good question Curt... Analyzing my current relationship, I really don't have to negotiate anything really. Sure, noone is perfect but my boyfriend's flaws are on the same level as mine so we work well together. For example, he tends to be messy and so do I but when the mood hits, either he'll clean or I will. We don't nag one another to pick up after ourselves. We know that eventually one of us will do it. He can be pretty stubborn, but so can I so we understand our stance and either laugh it off or talk out a reasonable solution. Thank God for his shortcomings because if his flaws weren't the same as mine, we'd probably fight a lot and not be as happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Pained Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Non-negotiable Loyal Honest Likes RPG's Over 24 years of age College or otherwise educated beyond high school Sexual/sensual Negotiable Not willing to go on roller coasters Non-vegetarian Not mechanically inclines Wants children The negotiable list is full of traits my boyfriend has but which I'm willing to accept anyway. No one's perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Negotiable: he may not like the music I like, not enjoy my favourite books, he is free to be a success in his career as well as a failure, he may be really picky about food. He may even not have enough hair, although I find guys with great hair quite attractive... he may not even gain more than I do . What else... I don't even want to think about who's cleaning the house, who's helping who and ... the rest of them stuf. Oh I almost forgot: he may even have friends I don't particularily like and keep them close... I am intransigent about other women, drinking, and being clean. I expect him to tell me the truth and be reliable. I expect him to force himself to love my family, even if he might hate them, as I shall do the same for his. I'll stop here for now... Link to post Share on other sites
gd1039 Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 I spun off your topic in the dating section. I think everyone that responded to this thread will find the "continuation" interesting. Here is the link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=44803 Link to post Share on other sites
Karlise13 Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Non_Negotiable Kind Good sense of humour Likes physical affection Good Hygeine Likes animals Negotiable Outgoing personality Can fix stuff Finances Sense of Physical Appearance Non-Smoker Link to post Share on other sites
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