whispering_willoww Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I have posted several times on this board and haven't received much of a response. i really need some help here and advice. I have been seeing this guy for several months now and 2 months ago he moved to GA. in that transition he told me he loves me and wanted me to come down there with him. I told him I would think about it and then i decided to go. Went down there several times, had some interviews, things were fine for a while. Well he made a stupid financial choice to take over the lease on a friends car. can't go back on it cause he works for the guy. i was upset about that and then i didn't get the job. well now he is saying he has gotten cold feet and he doesn't know if he loves me. He says he cares about me a lot but he is not sure if he knows what love is. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone else. He looked me dead in my face and told me that he loves me so much. I am all that matters to him etc. and now just about 1 1/2 weeks later he doesn't know anymore. This guy he works for is very influential and every since he took this car over it's been hell. now the guy is talking about leaving his wife and moving into a townhouse and my boyfriend thinks he will be able to move there too. I am so frustrated and heartbroken right now. My boss knows i was going to leave and has hired my replacement already and now i have no where to go and noone who is there for me. I feel so alone. it is so hard to open yourself to someone anyway especially with so many past heartbreaks and now here's another one for the list. he told me so many times he loved me and his eyes didn't lie, so why the change? Someone please help me I feel like i'm losing it here. Link to post Share on other sites
nalbano3 Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I AM NOT SURE THAT THIS IS THE ANSWER YOU WANT TO HEAR, BUT SOMETIMES OUT OF SIGHT IS OUT OF MIND. I HAVE ALSO BEEN THROUGH SOME PRETTY TRAGIC BREAKUPS AND MOST SEEM TO COME WITHOUT MANY SIGNS. CAN YOU ELABORATE A LITTLE ON HIS RESPONSE TO WHY HE IS GETTING COLD FEET. IT ALMOST SOUNDS AS THOUGH HE HAS FOUND SOMEONE ELSE.....HENCE THE NOT NOWING WHAT LOVE IS ALL OF A SUDDEN. SOUNDS A LITTLE FISHY TO ME. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whispering_willoww Posted August 2, 2004 Author Share Posted August 2, 2004 he told me that when he had a chance to think about it he saw how serious our relationship had gotten. I was leaving everything to be with him. he says he cares about me and is just trying to figure out what he wants. he is torn between this. i have found that if he is out of his surroundings he can become easily influenced and i really feel that the guy he works for is using him but he is so caught up in that right now that he can't see straight. I honestly don't feel that there is anyone else however i do feel this guy leaving his wife, he has more than likely talked with my boyfriend and told him what a drag married life can be. i look at it and i think that he is seeing how unhappy this guy is and it's scaring the you know what out of him. i just had a phone call wanting to set up an interview and now i want to call him and tell him that i will be coming down and maybe we could talk then. i just don't know...... Link to post Share on other sites
gettingoveru Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 It sounds to me as if your boyfriends boss has some influence on him. If the boss is leaving his wife and going to be a bachelor he has probably told your boyfriend what a great time they can have as single men. I say try and be patient and see if he comes around because it sounds like he truly loves you. Maybe his mind is filled with mixed emotions right now. As for a job, it would be a big risk to find a job in his city unless you can afford a place of your own. I would stay put and look for work where you are living now. I hope he will come to his senses and realize you are more important to him than his boss or his new car. Best of luck and just be patient if you can, I know it's easier said than done. Link to post Share on other sites
toolcutie Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 I would also say try and be patient and see if he comes around. However while you're waiting, I'd also do some serious thinking. I don't know if I would want to be with someone who was so easily influenced by other people. I was in a realtionship like that once and we had nothing but problems because he wouldn't make his own choices that were good for him, he'd do what his friends wanted him to do. It could go either way, but while you're waiting I'd make sure you'd be prepared for the possibility of a repeat offence in the future. Good Luck Toolcutie Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts