HokeyReligions Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Something I read in another thread sparked this question. Do you expect unconditional love from your partner? Do you expect to give your partner unconditional love? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I think expecting implies demands. I'm happy to give it and happy to receive it. I don't think I would do it if it wasn't so rewarding--is that of itself a condition? Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I don't think unconditional love is something you require or demand of someone. If you truly love someone, it's just there. I don't think to myself, "Ok, I am going to show unconditional love to my boyfriend.", but when I look back at my actions towards him and his actions towards me, it obvious that it's just there, because we truly care and love one another. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted August 2, 2004 Author Share Posted August 2, 2004 So, do you believe that unconditional love exists? Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 not unless you can see the future- every possible situation that could arise- and say I'd love this person anyway. What if your SO raped another woman? or you for that matter? You just never know... Life's about change and how do you know how you'll feel when you or they change. Link to post Share on other sites
seahorse Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Hokey, Was it the other thread on this forum where I posted that as a must have quality? I think unconditional love is where you just love someone warts and all. It's not a blind love where you don't see their faults. It's knowing their faults, but still loving them anyway. How about though, if you suddenly found out that your partner was a murderer, or something really bad anyway, where someone had been badly hurt, and was being put in prison for it, would you still love him/her? Would you have hoped that some instinct would warn you what kind of person you were getting involved with long before? Sorry if that's diverted things a bit, I just went off on a train of thought there. seahorse Link to post Share on other sites
seahorse Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Oops, looks like Fayebelle got there just before me! seahorse Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I think if you found out the person you truly loved lead another life where they raped or killed someone, that would of course change the dynamics of the relationship. You would still love the person for the aspects of who they are but you would see them in a different light now. Some people would take them back and work on things whereas others would have to leave and regroup. It all depends on the person and the circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Yes, unconditional love exists. The common argument against it is "what if (s)he suddenly committed ___(insert atrocity)___" Unconditional love implies a willingness to work through such issues. It doesn't mean a blanket acceptance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted August 2, 2004 Author Share Posted August 2, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker Yes, unconditional love exists. The common argument against it is "what if (s)he suddenly committed ___(insert atrocity)___" Unconditional love implies a willingness to work through such issues. It doesn't mean a blanket acceptance. What if there is no willingness to work through an issue? Isn't the willingness to work a condition itself? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 This question is largely semantic, as it was here. In my opinion, you love someone unconditionally when you're willing to work through any condition. It's when separation is not an option. So I would see 'willingness to work' as more of a qualifier than a condition. Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 No, I do not think unconditional love exists for me. Maybe for some people but not for me. There are conditions I won't tolerate. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I agree that it's semantic. What is your definition of 'conditional love', Hokey? Then we can say if that's a love we believe in. As was pointed out in the other thread, in its true definition, it means loving in all possible circumstances, which would mean him cheating on you repeatedly, etc. And, yes, that is a valid criticism of the theory. All you have to do to avoid that sort of discussion is to define what you mean by your version of 'unconditional love'. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I don't believe in unconditional love between humans. If I want something to love me unconditinally, I'll get a dog. But enough anthropomorphising. Unconditinal love means I'll love you no matter no matter what-and that doesn't stand with me. Everyone has limits as to what they can take. There is a fine line between working things out and being a matyr. Link to post Share on other sites
Samee074 Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 All love should be unconditional because if you are going to put conditions and boundaries on it then it isn't love in the first place! Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted August 2, 2004 Author Share Posted August 2, 2004 I missed the other thread. I wasn't asking for myself, I was just curious as to what others thought about it, and their definitions of 'unconditional love'. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I think unconditional love does exist and some people do experience it. To me unconditional love is about giving is about having total faith, is completely accepting and loving the essence of the other person. This is why I associate it with naivity. Or purity of the heart and soul. My theory is that unconditional love is mostely experience by very young people, who are not afraid to give all their love, be completely vulnerable in front of someone else, open up withou holding anything back. I've lived it when I was 16. I think that's about the age, or even younger. When one knows nothing of cynisism, betrayal and the bitter taste of dissapointment and value of material things. Sure, there are some people, adults who may experience it... But not too many... Personally, I have never seen one ... I must confess I have not seen any opened displayals of faith lately in any relationship around me... I don't expect unconditional love. What I expect is to be loved and accepted, understood and treasured. And that's a lot!!!! Curly P.S. With regard to discovering that your SO was a criminal, murderer or rapist... What we love is the essence of the other person. his/her inner qulaities who do not diaspear if one made a mistake, big mistake, incomprehensible mistake... loving someone is being there for that person. Judging someone for their past is wrong, no matter what the past may hide. What matter is the present, who they choose to be near you, how they choose to live their live... how they face the changes, life.... Link to post Share on other sites
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