How to build confidence

[blue17]

I think I know of a way how people of any ages can build their confidence. People around the world whine about not having confidence, can't get confidence, don't know how....etc.

 

A simple way to build confidence is to overcome your fears. Whether it is a small obstacle, or large....overcoming your fears and worries will help you become a more confident person.

 

Example - It was our Dry After Grad party...there was a dance floor, and a bunch of other activities at a restaurant we will were at. The girl who I was sort of interested in was on the dance floor dancing, as well as about 20 other ppl. I really wanted to freak dance with her....but I was really nervous because I wasn't sure if she would reciprocate. I had also never freak danced before...so that made the situation that much worse. Anywho, I finally built up enough courage to approach her...talk to her for a sec, and then freak dance it up. I felt SOOO good afterwards....not because I got to dance with her (well that wasn't a bad aspect either ) but more because I overcame a fear. I was scared to approach her and dance with her....but afterwards I felt so much more confident about the whole situation. Now whenever a similar situation comes up....it won't be nearly as hard as it was the first time.

 

So the message.....if you want to build up your confidence....you have to step outside your confort zone once in a while and overcome your fears. You will feel SOOO good afterwards...and you will be just a little bit more confident. Thoughts?

[Papillon]

Nice story!

 

I have often found that people will find extrinsic factors as an excuse not to do something. For example, I used to drive an old rickety jalopy. I did not approach girls because the car was an embarrasment to me, and I subconsciously felt that the car would be a repulsive factor to a girl who had to ride shotgun, so I "spared" them it. Yeah I know it was irrational and shallow, and displacing it onto the values of a woman is unfair, but that was the way it was.

 

Solution? I sold the goddamn p.o.s. and bought a shiny new car. One reason for a lack of confidence bites the dust

 

Same thing with being overweight. After varsity, and doing a desk job all day, I turned into a fat dude - nothing kills self esteem like being overweight. I acknowledged that it was destroying my self-worth, so I killed it. Lost 30Kg in three months, and another self-esteem killer bites the dust.

 

And so on and so forth. Every inhibition or irrational fear has a root cause - we have to identify'em and kill'em.