beyond Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 Hi Coffee, sorry it has turned out like this, but really the writing was on the wall. Look back at this whole thread, try and take the emotion out of it (imagine you are reading about a friend and his gf) and really LISTEN to what she was telling you. She said at the break up that she couldn't be with you, that she wanted to find her way on her own without being attached to you - and she has done that. She is dating someone else - even tells you how aroused she is by him(!) and you sit there as her 'friend' and listen. She wants to keep you around, probably still has feeling for you (but not enough to be with you still or to stop her dating others). You respond positively to her offers of being 'friends' and then feel hurt. While you still have romantic feelings you can't be friends, you will just get hurt more hearing all the details of her and her new man. Even if she wasn't dating, she made it obvious she didn't want to be with you. Hard though it is, you have to accept that. In my opinion you should cancel next Thursday and say you can't be friends while you still have feelings for her. xx Link to post Share on other sites
lovesick1 Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 Oh my god this girl sounds so stupid needy. Seriously, literally she cries to you for hours on end about how she loves you and wants to be with you then once you agree less than an hour rolls by and she changes her mind, and this goes on again, and again, and again....! Tell her she needs time to cope without you because what's happening here is she is alone and when you aren't there she feels lonely and upset and cries. In her mind that plays out as-- he is right for me, we need to be together, yet she always goes back on that because deep down she knows she can't be with you right now. Tell her this, my psych degree is telling me this 100%, and that it's going to suck being without you and not contacting (yes, NC) you but she needs time to learn how to live single and alone. I've been in the same shoes as her. I met my ex at a party and same deal, instant sparks from both sides fell like bricks for each other but those few core differences kept splitting us up. Everything was great, but we always fought about stupid crap that resulted from her insecurity. Only I was the one who kept breaking it off. I never came back every couple hours like your girlfriend, but over 2 years we got back together 3 different times per my initiation. So needless to say, after the last one she met some guy and completly s**t all over me, broke my heart. But in the long run it was good for me, I learned how to live single and alone and could move on. Bottom line- she loves you but can't be with you, but doesn't know how to live alone without you. Tell her that and tell her she's gotta take the time to do so and you are cutting off contact to make that happen 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 WHY are you answering her calls? Seriously? You are gonna go hang out with her Thursday, and then she will leave and go get fked by the guy she is sooo in lust with! Why are you doing this to yourself? Have some self respect...she is fking some other guy and wants you around for emotional support. Sick. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 I agree with those who said she was just holding on out of a desire to make herself feel better. She didn't want to BE WITH YOU, but wanted you to coddle her and make her feel better and support her emotionally. Essentially, that gave her the ability to start moving on from the relationship, without having to do most of the hard work of coping by herself. You made her feel better until she met this new guy, and VOILA he's able to make her happy and now all she has to do is tell you that she's met a new guy and not only has she assuaged her own guilt by telling you this, but has also given you the obvious message that she's moved on and is no longer available to you, and MAYBE even has a 3rd benefit of it possibly making you jealous, giving her another lovely stroke to the ego. STOP ALL CONTACT. Ignore her. Do not see her again. Delete her number from your phone, block her on facebook, remove her from every single facet of your life! I'm not trying to paint her as a bad person, I don't think she is a bad person, but as long as you keep giving her what she wants, she's going to continue using you and you will be hurt by it. Cut her out of your life, heal, and eventually find someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
rn0408 Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 I don't really say this or do this (this is rare for me) but.. hit her and quit..teach her a lesson and RUN!!! That will get her back. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiera D Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 You OP are being a doormat and been buddyzoned please can you not see she is using you?when a girl starts telling you about how her new guy is you are 100% being buddyzoned, please go NC,i assure you your not getting her back anytime soon.And yeah you may want to read Homebrews Grass is Greener thread TD Link to post Share on other sites
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