He's still close with his ex-girlfriend

[habawa]

So I'm dating this guy. Yeah.

 

Anyways, we've been dating about a month, more like 3 weeks but whatever. Well, after some sort-of-but-not-really snooping (it's right on his Facebook page for all to see) I found out that he broke up with his last girlfriend early last January. I hadn't worried about it because after all that was over 6 months ago now and he seems to really really like me. But there have been a few things that are making me a little worried. For one thing, he's still close to her and talks to her still. She's listed on his Skype as '[her name] <3'. Also, he's been texting her recently. I know this because the other day he left his phone at home by accident and he got a text from her so it was right there and so I read it. Apparently they've been talking for the past few days a lot because I saw even more texts. In fact I read them all. I know, I know, wrong move but to be honest it was because I was worried, not to be a snoop. And really, it was right there. But anyway, at one time he was texting her while I was RIGHT THERE and said "Sorry gotta go can't text when [me] is here."

That really pissed me off; it's like I'm some kind of nuisance, keeping him from his precious ex-girlfriend. And then I read texts between them where basically she was curious about me and wanted to see what I looked like and stuff and more where he was asking HER if not telling ME about her was lying or bad.

I just hate that he won't tell me about her and at the same time tells her about me all nonchalantly like I'm nothing.

It's not like they're professing their love to one another but they're so close and it really bugs me.

[january2011]

Run, don't walk.

 

If he can't let go of his emotional investment in her, he has no place in his heart for you. She is already coming between the two of you, so save yourself the hassle and heartache while it is still early days. You'll have only wasted three weeks and not three month or three years on this guy.

[veggirl]

I would not get involved with this guy. The <3 thing and all the texts....no way. He couldn't be less over her. Who dumped who? They are still too attached, and he knows it's wrong that's why he hides it from you and asks her if it's wrong. He knows it is and he does it anyway.

[dasein]

You've been dating three weeks? and already this bought in and snooping to this degree? He should run from you.

[ascendotum]

You've been dating three weeks? and already this bought in and snooping to this degree? He should run from you.

 

Yeh I agree with this. You are not his gf, just someone he is dating and getting to know at this stage. I would get really pissed off with seeing "Sorry gotta go can't text when [me] is here." from a gf, but you are not his gf. I understand why some of the things you have outlined are a little disconcerting, but on the flip side having a girl who has only been out with you a handful of times snooping into your PC and phone is just as much a red flag for a guy.

[venusianx13]

What I see happening is that you have a strong gut instinct that you can't trust this guy. Snooping aside, you have more than enough evidence right in front of your nose to make an informed decision about his behavior. I understand that your anxiety about it all got the best of you, and caused you to read his texts...but now that you have (and you shouldn't have needed to), you have all the evidence you need to get the heck away from this dude. If you can't trust him less than a month into your relationship, do you really think things will improve with time?

[anna121]

I've had close male friends - some of them exes - and I could see this happening and it being no big deal. Certainly not indicative that I still had feelings or anything. And, CERTAINLY not if I was only dating someone for a few weeks. If you were more established as a couple, I could see have the "come to Jesus" talk about ex-boundaries, but this is way too soon. Either walk away, or stop invading his privacy.

[PMA]

It will only get worse. You may have just started dating so he may not be serious about you guys yet, but I'd be more worried about her. She should know her place and that she needs to chill out a bit.

[pbjbear]

So I'm dating this guy. Yeah.

 

Anyways, we've been dating about a month, more like 3 weeks but whatever. Well, after some sort-of-but-not-really snooping (it's right on his Facebook page for all to see) I found out that he broke up with his last girlfriend early last January. I hadn't worried about it because after all that was over 6 months ago now and he seems to really really like me. But there have been a few things that are making me a little worried. For one thing, he's still close to her and talks to her still. She's listed on his Skype as '[her name] <3'. Also, he's been texting her recently. I know this because the other day he left his phone at home by accident and he got a text from her so it was right there and so I read it. Apparently they've been talking for the past few days a lot because I saw even more texts. In fact I read them all. I know, I know, wrong move but to be honest it was because I was worried, not to be a snoop. And really, it was right there. But anyway, at one time he was texting her while I was RIGHT THERE and said "Sorry gotta go can't text when [me] is here."

That really pissed me off; it's like I'm some kind of nuisance, keeping him from his precious ex-girlfriend. And then I read texts between them where basically she was curious about me and wanted to see what I looked like and stuff and more where he was asking HER if not telling ME about her was lying or bad.

I just hate that he won't tell me about her and at the same time tells her about me all nonchalantly like I'm nothing.

It's not like they're professing their love to one another but they're so close and it really bugs me.

 

Get out unless you want a drama ridden guy who will end up telling you you are insecure because he has no concept of boundaries. I was in this exact situation 6 years ago and it did not pan out. People told me I was stupid for staying and they were right...

[pbjbear]

So I'm dating this guy. Yeah.

 

Anyways, we've been dating about a month, more like 3 weeks but whatever. Well, after some sort-of-but-not-really snooping (it's right on his Facebook page for all to see) I found out that he broke up with his last girlfriend early last January. I hadn't worried about it because after all that was over 6 months ago now and he seems to really really like me. But there have been a few things that are making me a little worried. For one thing, he's still close to her and talks to her still. She's listed on his Skype as '[her name] <3'. Also, he's been texting her recently. I know this because the other day he left his phone at home by accident and he got a text from her so it was right there and so I read it. Apparently they've been talking for the past few days a lot because I saw even more texts. In fact I read them all. I know, I know, wrong move but to be honest it was because I was worried, not to be a snoop. And really, it was right there. But anyway, at one time he was texting her while I was RIGHT THERE and said "Sorry gotta go can't text when [me] is here."

That really pissed me off; it's like I'm some kind of nuisance, keeping him from his precious ex-girlfriend. And then I read texts between them where basically she was curious about me and wanted to see what I looked like and stuff and more where he was asking HER if not telling ME about her was lying or bad.

I just hate that he won't tell me about her and at the same time tells her about me all nonchalantly like I'm nothing.

It's not like they're professing their love to one another but they're so close and it really bugs me.

 

Dont listen to people who say its only been a few weeks, give him the benefit of the doubt. This is not somebody who will be honest with you. Somebody who says this kind of stuff is sneaky. Why would he need to ask her if not telling you is bad? How old are you guys? 18?