pirpi Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 My boyfriend got me a silver neckless for my birthday when we'd known only for a few weeks. I really love it but gold is more my thing and because of the neckless I've never told him that. Now I'm afraid he's thinking I like silver better 'cause I never wear any gold with the neckless and I'm always wearing it. I know he's going to propose pretty soon so I want to make sure he's not getting me a silver ring but I really don't want him to misunderstand. I love the silver neckless but I have to have my engagement ring gold! One more problem... I think I've been talking about the wedding a little too often lately and I'd kind of like him to understand this gold-silver-thing without me having to tell it straight. I don't want to bug him all the time so he can think about the whole marriage thing himself too. And surprise me! I guess I should just tell him what I want and I propably will if I don't come up with some other way soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Honestly I've never heard of a "silver" engagement ring. I'm thinking you don't understand terms. White Gold. Platinum. Titanium. Many metals appear to be similar to "silver" but in fact are not. As it relates to gold, color is variable and so is the weight. Most engagement rings I am familiar with are 18k. That being said, even custom made rings are exchangeable when a guy makes his purchase. Jewelers want the woman to be thrilled. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 A few 'ooo's' and 'aahhs' at the jeweler when trying on a gold engagement ring, whether that be white gold or yellow gold, should do the trick. You could also look into platinum or titanium, as other options, if you do like the 'silver' look but would prefer another material. White gold and platinum generally retain their 'luster', compared to silver. White gold is merely an alloy of yellow gold and another metal, usually nickel, but sometimes manganese or palladium. Advance shopping, even if not selecting the 'specific' ring, should get the message across regarding preference. Communication. Good luck and welcome to LS Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Why not tell him you like your silver necklace but you really prefer gold. Also make sure you know what white gold, platinum, etc looks like so you don't mistake them for silver. My engagement ring is platinum so looks silver but isn't. Go online and start pointing out rings that you lie to him. Tell him just for future reference. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Unless your engagement ring is going to be part of your wedding ring set, IF he got you silver, I don't think it would be a big deal. My engagement ring was 10k white gold and I loved it. Engagement rings shouldn't be too expensive. Do you want white gold or just regular gold? If it's that important, perhaps you could drop hints to your hunny that while you really love your silver necklace, you'd prefer your engagement ring to be gold as it's more durable and longer lasting. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Unless your engagement ring is going to be part of your wedding ring set, IF he got you silver, I don't think it would be a big deal. My engagement ring was 10k white gold and I loved it. Engagement rings shouldn't be too expensive. Do you want white gold or just regular gold? If it's that important, perhaps you could drop hints to your hunny that while you really love your silver necklace, you'd prefer your engagement ring to be gold as it's more durable and longer lasting. I disagree. Since it is usually part of a set you really want to get the same metal. They wear differently and some will change shades so I would not want different metals. What isn't too expensive? Engagement rings greatly vary. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 (edited) "Engagement rings shouldn't be too expensive." What isn't too expensive?" Interesting statements. Love to hear additional comments. Edited November 5, 2012 by Balzac Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 "Engagement rings shouldn't be too expensive." What isn't too expensive?" Interesting statements. Love to hear additional comments. Well, my engagement ring was a separate ring from the wedding ring. Assuming the engagement ring is part of a set...this means you already bought the wedding ring. That said, it's hard to say what the cost should be if the cost factored both the wedding and engagement ring into the picture. If it's a separate ring, I wouldn't spend more than a few hundred if you plan to spend a few thousand on another ring. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 My boyfriend got me a silver neckless for my birthday when we'd known only for a few weeks. I really love it but gold is more my thing and because of the neckless I've never told him that. Now I'm afraid he's thinking I like silver better 'cause I never wear any gold with the neckless and I'm always wearing it. I know he's going to propose pretty soon so I want to make sure he's not getting me a silver ring but I really don't want him to misunderstand. I love the silver neckless but I have to have my engagement ring gold! One more problem... I think I've been talking about the wedding a little too often lately and I'd kind of like him to understand this gold-silver-thing without me having to tell it straight. I don't want to bug him all the time so he can think about the whole marriage thing himself too. And surprise me! I guess I should just tell him what I want and I propably will if I don't come up with some other way soon. to tell the truth I dont know who made the rule about gold for engagement rings it was probably dr suess he has a thing for colors I could google and find out....but honestly to me what is important with an engagement ring isthe promise made not the metal it is made of....i had a broken promise ring yellow gold with many diamonds i pawned it to chuck a party for my youngest daughter because i promised her one and i dont go back on a promise.......then I left that broken promise in a pawn shop with all the other broken promises and tears that had been shed with hard times adn broken hearts..... the "precious" metal the ring is made of is nothing....the hearts behind are the important something and when two hearts make a promise do you really think it matters what color the ring is. I remember this story I want to share it with you, I think someone at my church told it about a leather band that was given as an engagement ring as the gentleman didn't have the money to buy an expensive precious metal......the lady of course accepted this ring with all her heart honoring the promise of eventual marriage vows that state through good times and bad for richer for poorer, they married of course.... her loving husband then bought her a ring at a later time, she wears both rings, I think i know which one would be more special to her........i am a die hard romantic i go the leather........which one would you choose? would you love your man who gave it to you regardless of the price tag or color gold or silver?.......i wish you hope happiness and love and an eventual marriage filled with all of the above...good luck...deb Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 (edited) Well, my engagement ring was a separate ring from the wedding ring. Assuming the engagement ring is part of a set...this means you already bought the wedding ring. That said, it's hard to say what the cost should be if the cost factored both the wedding and engagement ring into the picture. If it's a separate ring, I wouldn't spend more than a few hundred if you plan to spend a few thousand on another ring. A set does not necessarily mean you have bought the wedding band. Most designers make engagement rings that have complimentary wedding bands styles with them. So you will tend to buy similar though one can buy something else. Also typically the engagement ring is more expensive or the same price as the wedding band. Wedding bands tend to be less detail, diamonds, smaller carats, than the engagement ring. It varies by each person, the typical rule of thumb is 3 months salary though that has dropped with the economy but it does vary by each person's situation. So this is a subjective and just giving an example but my engagement ring was 15K and my wedding band is 7K. My engagement ring is Tacori and with the ornate side work, it makes the most sense, and looks the best to go with one of the complimenting wedding band styles. My first marriage, my engagement ring was 6K and the wedding band, a plain gold one, was a few hundred. There were no diamonds on the wedding band and one diamond on the engagement ring of a .78 carat. Most important is the 4Cs (Color, Cut, Clarity, Carat Weight) with any diamonds. It is better to get quality over quantity. This is just going over the simple economics of jewelry. The better quality, the harder the metal, the longer it will last with no tarnishment, etc. Same goes for the diamonds, just based on what makes a quality diamond. Many will use a family heirloom, different stones are being used, or some couples are giving joint engagement rings. Edited November 5, 2012 by Got it Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I guess that would make sense, *shrugs*, but I've honestly never agreed with the 3 month rule personally. If the guy makes, let's say 5k a month, he shouldn't have to spend 15k on a wedding ring...and 5k a month is only a modest income. Where I live, you can only rent an apartment on that. I've seen beautiful sets for 6k or less. And if you get the right deals, such as shopping online or at a clearance store, you can save a few thousand dollars that way. I'd much rather spend the money on a nice long honeymoon. Link to post Share on other sites
venusianx13 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Pick up a few jewelry catalogs, and bookmark pages that have gold rings that you admire, and leave them in places you're sure he will come across them. When you go to the mall and pass by a jewelry store, window shop a little...point out gold toned rings that you like. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 My boyfriend got me a silver neckless for my birthday when we'd known only for a few weeks. I really love it but gold is more my thing and because of the neckless I've never told him that. Now I'm afraid he's thinking I like silver better 'cause I never wear any gold with the neckless and I'm always wearing it. I know he's going to propose pretty soon so I want to make sure he's not getting me a silver ring but I really don't want him to misunderstand. I love the silver neckless but I have to have my engagement ring gold! One more problem... I think I've been talking about the wedding a little too often lately and I'd kind of like him to understand this gold-silver-thing without me having to tell it straight. I don't want to bug him all the time so he can think about the whole marriage thing himself too. And surprise me! I guess I should just tell him what I want and I propably will if I don't come up with some other way soon. I don't see the big dealing in just telling him.... When you do marry there will be bigger fish to fry and bigger truths to tell...so I'd consider this preparation for that. I am sure his feelings won't be crushed if you hint at wanting a gold engagement ring. I'm sure he would be glad to oblige. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 All I can say is even if he proposes with a silver ring instead of a golden one, then be happy that he's at least proposing. I'm still waiting for the day I get proposed to (heck, I can't even find a bf yet). So many of us don't even reach that level that at this point I don't care of it's not the most beautifulest ring ever. At least that's a lot better than not getting proposed at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 You just have to tell him straight up, be an adult and dont worry about bieng surprised. If you have to tell him indirectly, it wouldnt be a surprise anyway. So tell him straight up that you like your silver necklace, but you prefer gold. He wont have a problem with it, hes a big boy and will make note of it when he gets your engagement ring. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 My boyfriend got me a silver neckless for my birthday when we'd known only for a few weeks. I really love it but gold is more my thing and because of the neckless I've never told him that. Now I'm afraid he's thinking I like silver better 'cause I never wear any gold with the neckless and I'm always wearing it. I know he's going to propose pretty soon so I want to make sure he's not getting me a silver ring but I really don't want him to misunderstand. I love the silver neckless but I have to have my engagement ring gold! One more problem... I think I've been talking about the wedding a little too often lately and I'd kind of like him to understand this gold-silver-thing without me having to tell it straight. I don't want to bug him all the time so he can think about the whole marriage thing himself too. And surprise me! I guess I should just tell him what I want and I propably will if I don't come up with some other way soon. I'd say to go for platinum, that way when you will get divorced you can gain the most assets out of him. Carhill's suggestion is spot on for how to motivate him this way. PS: Remember to talk to a lawyer before you marry, on how to make sure most property goes to your name. Link to post Share on other sites
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