Barrsitter Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 If your xmm gave you some jewelry and other things and you didn't want them, what would you do with the items? Give them to the Goodwill? Send them back to xmm without a note? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 If your xmm gave you some jewelry and other things and you didn't want them, what would you do with the items? Give them to the Goodwill? Send them back to xmm without a note? Give it to a woman's shelter. Do not send it back to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
secretgirl Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I would probably drop them in the ocean or do something symbolic.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
twinsmom Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 ANYthing that would not involve making contact with him in any way. He gave them to you to use at your discretion, I assume, so I would say donate them or trash them. If it would help you financially in any way, then try to sell them..Just get rid of them! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 If you don't want the items I would give to charity but forward him either proof of postage or a confirmation email from the recipient. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MourningLosses Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 He let me know he had given his wife everything from our relationship. Some books, coffee cups, some clothes I bought for his children (that I now think he probably never took home to them). I don't know why they thought that was appropriate, why he didn't just throw them away. Does that mean I should return some jewellery and a few small clothing items? Should I return them to his wife like he did? I like the idea of sending her the money as I now feel they were effectively paying me for the love I gave. It was mostly her money so I guess she should have that back. Not sure what I should do about the dinners he paid for. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 He let me know he had given his wife everything from our relationship. Some books, coffee cups, some clothes I bought for his children (that I now think he probably never took home to them). I don't know why they thought that was appropriate, why he didn't just throw them away. Does that mean I should return some jewellery and a few small clothing items? Should I return them to his wife like he did? I like the idea of sending her the money as I now feel they were effectively paying me for the love I gave. It was mostly her money so I guess she should have that back. Not sure what I should do about the dinners he paid for. I'm assuming you're talking about things he gave you during the A and not since it ended. If that's the case I'd donate them somewhere. If for some reason his W is not letting things go and harassing you then I'd send them back to her directly and let her know in no uncertain terms you've had enough. If she's only trying to keep her M on track and not focusing on you at all then I'd donate them. If it's stuff he's sent since the A ended then I'd send them to her with envelopes, post marks, enclosed notes from him, anything that shows her clearly he hasn't ended it in his mind. Link to post Share on other sites
MourningLosses Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Nothing since he dumped me. She has never contacted me, she's too scared I'll tell her things she won't like. I have sent him a letter for her with my side of it. I just think its sick that when he told me he had confessed everything (probably hasn't!) he said he had given her everything. Why do that? Why not just throw them out? Why would she want to see the books and other gifts I gave him? The receipts he kept from where we spent time together? Seems she must be a maschohist or he's a sadist. But given he said that I wonder if we are supposed to return things to the wife. The only reason I can see is so she knows how much money he spent on me that was her money. Not that much really. Link to post Share on other sites
skylarblue Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Did xMM give you the gifts during or after the A? Do you not want them because they're associated with him or because you don't particular like or have use for them? Are they things of value/quality or are they chintzy little gifts? (sorry I don't know your story) I guess if it was anything of value like gold etc, I'd pawn/sell it. Otherwise, I'd donate the worthwhile and trash the junk. I'm not one for giving back gifts after I've accepted them unless I really felt uncomfortable about accepting it (and given back very shortly after). Otherwise, it just seems petty to me. I wonder how many would really give the money to W IRL (not an attack, I know it was a suggestion). And why? Personally, if I was the BS, I wouldn't want the OW to reach out to me in any unsolicited capacity unless it was a genuine and heartfelt apology or to inform WS was trying to resume contact. Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 It was a gift, it is now yours to do with as you please. Regardless of how tainted you feel it is, do what you will. Personally, I'd sell it to a pawn shop in regards to jewelry. Anything else, donate for a tax deduction. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 If your xmm gave you some jewelry and other things and you didn't want them, what would you do with the items? Give them to the Goodwill? Send them back to xmm without a note? There's a website called exboyfriend jewelry.com. That's what I did with the stuff my ex gave me. Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Sell them but get proof you sold them incase he ever wants it back. Link to post Share on other sites
awkward Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 If they are expensive pieces and you need the money, sell them. I think the most therapeutic choice is to donate them. Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 With jewely from exhusband, I had it melted down and made two new rings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Barrsitter Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 Thanks everyone! Very creative answers. Link to post Share on other sites
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