TrueSmiles12 Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Sorta an update on my previous post/situation: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t44054/ Well, it's been almost a week since our last contact, since I sent that e-mail. I haven't gotten any response whatsoever. And the worst part of it is I am now starting to feel forgotten, at the worst possible time. And there's that huge gut-wrenching feeling that he is with someone else already. It wasn't that long ago that he was sending me mixed signals, telling me that he hasn't moved on yet, and now I have this huge instinct that he is. I want to find out so badly if he is with someone else. Just to help me move on, instead of assuming he is. How should I go about doing that? Ask him directly? And I'm really afraid that we're going to go back to school (college) in less than 3 weeks, having had no response/closure with our situation. I don't want it to be weird when we go back and see each other and are forced to be around each other so many hours everyday. But I don't want to contact him anymore if he doesn't even bother caring about the same awkwardness. I feel like I am only bothering him by contacting him and that sucks because he went from being my best friend to nothing now. And at times, I kick myself for the situation we are in because it is my fault. I thought it would be better if he didn't contact me until I am completely over him. Too bad it is not helping at all. It is only making things worse, because we don't talk at all now so I don't know what's going on in his life at all. And like I said, I want to so badly. What would you do?? Link to post Share on other sites
ringo Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Keey yourself busy with other things that will help take your mind off of him. He's not contacting you because he's done. It's hard to hear and it's hard to accept... but time will heal your wounds. You say you want to know if he's already moved on, because it will help you move on.... thats not always the case. Becareful what you wish for.... it could back fire and only make you hurt worse. Just leave him alone, and stay busy with your own life. Get involved in activities, hobbies, etc. anything. You need to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
winter23 Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 I am in a similar situation. But my ex talked to me after 2 weeks of nothing after I ended things.........which made me stressed. I am trying to move on...........my advice just keep busy with your life. The more you are busy and productive, he will not like that! Dont wait around for him to "wake uP" or call you or anything...........focus on being happy Link to post Share on other sites
Author TrueSmiles12 Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 update: i have been successful in doing my own thing lately, making myself happy (yay) ...and i check his away message today and it says, "let it go". WTF?! I know that I am not reading too much into this, mainly because I know my ex very well. He rarely has an away message up and when he does, it does have relative importance. But... i am having so many mixed emotions and I just need to be calmed down or told something positive. I am very taken back by this... It's like, whoa, what did I do to you for you to just blatantly put it out there - "let it go". I have not even contacted him since that e-mail that i sent him last week, which he did not respond to. It feels like such a slap in the face or a knife to the heart. It seems so mean and hurtful. Some people obviously (esp the dumpees) take a little longer than most to get over breakups. Does he not understand that? And it's like I'm not doing anything that would make him think that I was not on my way to getting over him, so whats the deal?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author TrueSmiles12 Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 I'm all agitated now.. If he has something to say to me like that, when why couldn't he have just said it to me?! Now I feel like such a fool to have wasted even more time thinking there was even a speck of hope. I want to just tell him off at this point -- he didn't have to put it up there for everyone to see, "let it go".. if he wanted to tell me, then he could've just told me.. either way, it's cruel and it hurts a lot.. I want to at least tell him something.. I can't just let this go.. HELP! Link to post Share on other sites
KaiaMahina Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Unfortunately, True, all this cutting edge technology makes it much easier for cowardly types to get away with blowing others off with no "confrontation." Meaning, they can get rid of you without having to hear YOUR side of the story, or what you now think of them. Getting dumped via phone (as I did) is bad enough. But all this nastiness conveyed by email, text message and even away messages is simply repulsive. If you have the guts to think or say something like that, then you should have the guts to say to someone's face. Very few of the posts I've read here concern being dumped up close and personal. It's all about saving your own skin... You don't need a nasty coward like this. The only thing he's right about is "Let it go." Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 It's hard to let go when you don't feel like you've received validation for your feelings or justification for the situation you've been put in. It makes it harder to heal because there is still so much you think needs to be said. It needs to be said for you to heal and not necessarily for him to heal and this is why he doesn't have any interest in hearing what you have to say. The need to have one last conversation would be solely for your benefit and unfortunately some people don't realize this and give us that opportunity. Some don't realize that if you could just say everything that's buzzing around your brain it'd be easier to walk away. You may never get your chance. Start a journal. Say it there so you can try and process the things in your mind. I won't be as satisfying as telling him directly but it will help. Link to post Share on other sites
Missa Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 My boyfriend and I have been steadily going out for six months... It was the best six months. We were completely in love and even had a little talk a while ago about getting more serious and moving in together. Then, out of the blue, he tells me he is confused about the relationship, and isn't sure he can handle a relationship with me anymore. It hurts sooo bad, and I am in the same boat about school. He seems to be avoiding me because he won't return my messages or anything. This happened almost a week ago and I still don't know if we are together or not. This bugs me and hurts so much to be dangled along like this. I guess there isn't much for me to tell you because I seem to not be any good at this situation either. I wish you the best of luck and I guess all you can do is wait until he wants to contact you. If you email or whatnot too much you might seem desperate and that's pretty much what every guy wants... The situation just sucks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author TrueSmiles12 Posted August 6, 2004 Author Share Posted August 6, 2004 hey missa, i'd love to hear more about your situation, if you don't mind.. maybe we can actually help each other out. Link to post Share on other sites
SwEeT P Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 im in the same boat as u r true.........been almost 3.5 weeks since my b/f broke up with meand moved out......he doesnt call, email or text me either, although i sent him a letter a week and 1/2 ago to which he text me yest to say thanx for the letter ttys..........WTF?? Guess we need 2 just move on..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author TrueSmiles12 Posted August 11, 2004 Author Share Posted August 11, 2004 update: so last week, after that whole away message fiasco, i ended up calling my exbf. he didnt answer. i thought he was ignoring my call, so i left a message anyway. i basically said, in a nice way, that if he ever had anything to say to me, that it would just be best to tell me and not use away messages or anything like that, but to come straight out and tell me. and i said that this situation sucks because we are basically hating each other... he called back 10 min later and said, hey i missed your call, whats up.. so he didn't end up ignoring my call and actually returned my call. so i said that i just left him a message and he asked if he wanted to talk about it before he listened to it and i said not really, just listen to the message so it doesnt sound repetitive.... so that was last week and i haven't heard from him since.... until.... today.. he texts me: 'hi sorry i just wanted to apologize for the whole away message thing the other day'.. and i had to go to court for a traffic summons so i didnt get to respond right away.. and he texts me a half hour later: 'ok i guess youre not going to get back to me but i hope all is well anyway'... i texted him back telling him that i just got out of court and he asked how it went, etc... and then, another half hour later, he goes, 'hope you enjoy the rest of your summer'.... AHHHHHHHH!!!! so i said, 'u too'. were my expectations just too high??? i mean i was doing sooo well AGAIN this past week with no contact from him.. and hes been doing this since we broke up -- randomly contacting me when i seem to be doing so well at getting over him and false hope.. i obviously like when he contacts me, im not gonna lie. but i guess i was even hoping for something more to come out of this recent contact, instead of basically a goodbye.. ughhh siggghhh i mean it seems in the slightest bit even that he wants me to not just leave it at that -- to not just let him say 'enjoy the rest of your summer'.. i mean i know him so well.. there had to be more of a reason to contact me than just to apologize, a week later. im so confused and once again, hurt. i have to go back to school in a week and a half and see him and everything.. and when we left school for the summer, we were still together and strong.. this is going to be soooo weird! (not to obviously mention that i still have false hope! ahhh!) Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 My bf broke up with me in February. I was living with him in Europe at the time. Anyway to make a long story short he kept contacting me just when I was better all teh time too. I ended up having to tell him to leave me alone and stop contacting me. Then I left the country for a few months. I had to do all this to get better. It took me four months and 5000 miles. Ther reason I am telling you this story is because I dont envy your situation. You should just stop contacting him and if he contacts you don't respond. If he wants to ever get back with you believe me he will make his intentions known. You dont stand to gain anything from this teta tet with him. In actuality it is tearing up your heart. That is why... just ignore him until you are 100 percent better. By the way, if you had not responded to him when he asked you "whether you would be answering or not".... he would have been hurt by the fact that you didn't. And I would have preffered that you hurt him a little bit. A bit of revenge in normal limits is good for the soul. So I suggest you take Bozo's advice and Have a good summer or what's left of it. And enjoy .... Try to stay away from him at school too. It will hurt to see him. So avoid avoid avoid as much as you can. Give yourself time to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
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