ChaseYng2005 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I've know a guy for about 2 years and when we met he wasn't single and didn't even seem interested in me as a friend. Our first conversation was very awkward. Out of the blue I sent him a message and we started talking and have decided to meet, but we are meeting to discuss a mutual business plan. On the phone he made a comment about how I should be interested in guys like him but it sounded awkward and didn't come out smooth. Yesterday he said he would call but never did, and that is ok, I was busy and he was busy. But today he sent me a message saying he was sorry he forgot to call and I told him it's aiight and I'm looking forward to Tuesday. He then said "Me too buddy." When guy calls you buddy does it mean friend zone? Oh, and my FB status does say I'm in a relationship even though I'm not, so that might be the issue too. (Note: we are both gay.) Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Well, actually, depending where you are from and where you are coming from, 'buddy' can even be a term of reproach, eg. "Listen buddy, you're looking for a smack in the mouth". Even, "Listen friend, you have no idea what you are talking about". So, relying on interpretation of intent or purpose based on the interpretation of one single word, even allowing for context, seems to me to be a pretty precarious process. Just sayin'. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 I think his buddy is a male. The clue for me was in the line "We are both gay". Of course, I may have completely misunderstood his post. Just really trying to encourage the OP to see things from all possible perspectives, not offer specific advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChaseYng2005 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 (edited) So I changed my facebook status to single. We had a really good conversation last night but I didn't feel a spark or an instant connection. He also told me he has me saved as a favorite on an iphone dating app, but has never talked to me. Which I thought was weird. Today he started talking to me on FB, but he was at work so I let the conversation die out. Maybe I was wrong to do that. I did flirt with him slightly later on when confirming our meeting tomorrow, but he didn't even respond. I still have a text I sent him asking about his day and telling him that since he was at work I didn't want to bog him down too much by talking. He hasn't responded to it. So I give up. It's a lot easier to not give a **** than put myself through these dating games again. Not sure if you noticed buy I've been a member of this site since 2005 and the whole dating thing is just old and tired to me. Edited November 6, 2012 by ChaseYng2005 Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Chase I can understand, personally. You are of a sensitive disposition. The notion of being rebuffed gives you the willies. The angst you would suffer from even just thinking about the prospect is just too much for you. The really tough thing you have to decide because naturally no-one else can do it for you is do you allow yourself to be suppressed by it every time it crops up or just once, sometime, do you take a big breath, try to suppress the butterflies in your stomach so that you don't think you are maybe going to puke and then wilfully, deliberately step off the virtual cliff-edge, hoping that the parachute you have strapped to your back is made of the right stuff in order to stop you splatting out as a crimson stain on the emotional plain below. It's tough, irrespective of whether you are gay or straight. Lots of things going on, fear of rejection, fear of failure, loss of dignity, humiliation, loss of self-esteem, lack of confidence in the first place. It's not a question of whether you lead the rest of your life in that state but whether you are going to chose to live that way. It's really damned hard. And there are no simple, easy solutions. The issue in the end is not all these 'losses' I refer to but how you recover from them, in the next 5 minutes afterwards, next day, week, month. I hope you get my drift. We simply have to learn how to deal with rejection, failure, whether it be in our personal lives, our careers or whatever. Rejection can be avoided altogether but there is a VERY high price to be paid for doing so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChaseYng2005 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 So I just got back from meeting with him. He acted completely uninterested. It didn't even look like he had showered. After about 30 minutes, he constantly acted as if he was about to fall asleep. He yawned and/or coughed during the whole meeting. He was kind enough to offer me something to drink, but that was about it. As far as business goes, we got nothing done to my expectations. We did no work on my site or animation. He did throw out criticisms and suggestions. What I thought was going to be a fun, light-hearted, and inventive meeting turned into a cold bore fest. He had some music playing and he cut it off. When I told him I did'nt mind the music, he cut on the television. The whole situation actually made me laugh inside. I heard him over the phone addressing himself with a different name than the one he gave me! Turns out he gave me his middle name to call him by, but on the phone everyone was calling him by his first. At least this all made me laugh. Link to post Share on other sites
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