Kitty1123 Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 this could turn BAD..ever see What Lies Beneath? Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Originally posted by Spinzel 1. Divorce your husband. He may be a caring man, supposedly, but he has the morals and ethics of pond scum. He's taking advantage of a girl and will likely lose his job soon, especially if her dramatic suicide threat doesn't win him over. Why the hell would you even WANT to be with a man who couldn't choose between you and one of his students? If this girl's drama can get your husband, then let her have him. 2. Contact the police or a mental health authority. If she's really suicidal, she needs professional help. If she's doing this as a melodramatic ploy to push your husband into making a decision, this will sober her up and teach her the consequences of pulling crap like this. Don't let your children think this behavior is acceptable. i agree with this advice completely. he was the professor and in a position of authority and this was a SERIOUS breach of morals and ethics. as for her, whenver anyone threatens suicide take it seriously. tell her parents if possible. tell the police or mental health authorities. you have nothing to lose by doing this (if it upset your husband then who the hell cares?) and a life to save. and, as spinzel said, if this is just an act of parasuicide, (a suicide attempt in which the person wants attention but not death) she'll probably get a great wake-up call and realize the stupidity of her threat. if you honestly think your husband might choose her over you because he's afraid of what she might do, then calling for help is the best choice you've got. Link to post Share on other sites
FoxyShawna Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Facts: Some friend of this girl told Confusedmom's husband she was worried the other girl was suicidal. It could be the other's girl plot for whatever reason, even make her look nuts so he preffers her. I think unless she makes a direct threat calling parents, docs, etc. could make her look like she made it all up (happened once to me) or worse turn it against him (and maybe Confusedmom wants to keep him cuz he makes a nice pet). Second: The faculty's authorities: good idea, but it should have the form of a complaint from someone (promiscuos teachers sleep with sluts, way too many for them not to cover for each other unless soemthingreally nasty happened). Third: Was it just an "emotional" affair? Because in that case it could be a lot in the professor's imagination, maybe low self confidence? Middle age crisis? Forth: If you want to freak out one way is to find some other friend that works their and make her life miserable, even get your point arcoss indirectly. It works. I work in one. Also, finding a friend of her parents and comenting on it would work too. To hell with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Originally posted by Kitty1123 this could turn BAD..ever see What Lies Beneath? yes love that movie! Exactly...more women need to think about what they're getting themselves into! Guys the same! Link to post Share on other sites
DacaInaru Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 Ya know.. my last husband.. use to use the suicide boohoo story with me.. every time I threathened to leave him.. he'd say i'm gonna kill myself.. I was gonna kill myself this morning, this afternoon, 5 secs ago.. anyway.. one day he really pissed me off.. He started on that it!! If you leave me I'm going to kill myself.. I'll die and my blood will be on your hands!!! he was hysterical.. I walked into the bathroom pulled out the basket with all the meds.. and dumped it on his lap.. saying.. if you want to kill yourself.. go ahead.. just don't do it in my house or on my time!! Guess what he did.. he put the meds down.. and moved out... and I'm still waiting for him to commit suicide my thought is if they repeatedly tell you they are going to kill themselves.. they more likely to get hit by a car then actually commit suicide.. as for your husband.. "he's going to make a decision" ?????? girl.. get out of this now.. keep your dignity and tell the SOB you've made the decision for him.. Link to post Share on other sites
Taken_Angel Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 I walked into the bathroom pulled out the basket with all the meds.. and dumped it on his lap.. saying.. if you want to kill yourself.. go ahead.. just don't do it in my house or on my time!! Guess what he did.. he put the meds down.. and moved out... Nothing wrong with calling him on his BS! Threatening to harm yourself or the other person out of desperation to keep them is just plain WRONG! Sick and wrong! All a part of manipulation to get them to stay because you want them..but why make someone stay temporarily when they obviously want to leave....do they think they can win the person back eventually? If they want to leave LET THEM Gawd I wouldn't want to be with someone I had to FORCE with guilt to be with me! People who do this need to grow up and not be so co-dependent! and I'm still waiting for him to commit suicide That's cruel and sad....how heartless a thing to say...........BUT if he threatened all the time I'm sure it got old and you're making the point that "see he didn't do it" which MOST people who threaten only want attention and have NO intentions of actually doing it......but WHAT IF he had done it??? Wouldn't you have felt bad and guilty for being so cold about it? I know you probably got fed up and knew he wouldn't and it worked in your situation but some people are unstable and this could have pushed them over the edge! Link to post Share on other sites
DacaInaru Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 Taken my breakup with my ex is a long and sorrid story.. and saying that I'm still waiting is to make the point that he never did it.. but had he done it I honestly don't think I would have felt any guilt.. turns out he was involved in some underhanded stuff.. and I still can't seem to be rid of him.. he tries to continue contact but now with me as he thinks he can convince my family into forcing me to remarry him he's also muslim and from bangladesh which is a total cultural difference in that the husband decides when to divorce and the family can actually force a women to remain with a man.. after almost a year of hearing i'm gonna kill myself daily.. there were times where I just wanted to scream.. Well DO IT ALREADY!.. he never had intentions of killing himself.. just the idea that he could guilt me into staying.. Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 the ONLY thing bad about calling people on their bullsh*t when they're threatening suicide is that sometimes they follow through. an old boyfriend's sister did. so you run that risk and are you really prepared for that? it may not be your fault but do you really think you prefer to call them on their bullsh*t than calling for help? so what if they are only committing parasuicide and have no intention of doing it but only want the attention. if that's true, it will maybe cause them to finally look at how they are behaving more seriously. if it doesn't, the worst that can happen is that they're embarassed badly and that's only their fault. the best that could happen is that you prevent someone from doing something that can never be undone. you don't owe them anything after you call for help. you can close the door on the relationship for good knowing you did the best you could do. Link to post Share on other sites
Taken_Angel Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 Originally posted by DacaInaru Taken my breakup with my ex is a long and sorrid story.. and saying that I'm still waiting is to make the point that he never did it.. but had he done it I honestly don't think I would have felt any guilt.. turns out he was involved in some underhanded stuff.. and I still can't seem to be rid of him.. he tries to continue contact but now with me as he thinks he can convince my family into forcing me to remarry him he's also muslim and from bangladesh which is a total cultural difference in that the husband decides when to divorce and the family can actually force a women to remain with a man.. after almost a year of hearing i'm gonna kill myself daily.. there were times where I just wanted to scream.. Well DO IT ALREADY!.. he never had intentions of killing himself.. just the idea that he could guilt me into staying.. Thank gawd you left him! Next he may start "i'm gonna kill YOU if you don't come back" I hope that you continue to stay away from him....what a creep! My ex was abusive but threatening to kill ME if I left...finally I did and I'm rid of him cuz I moved, no contact he has no way to find me....he was an alcoholic so I doubt he would waste the energy trying. Anyway guys like that are losers and I wish NO ONE had to end up with them. Link to post Share on other sites
DacaInaru Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 Yea I thank god everyday.. I actually recieved an email from him the other day.. stating that he had some growth in his stomach and is dying.. and that his mother is dying his sister's are ill and his brother is in finanical ruins.. OH and he got ROB!! of all his personal possessions.. he's really one sick puppy.. I emailed him back telling him that what's going on in his life is none of my business and to please keep me out of it.. he contacted my cousin and told her to tell me "explain to her that i'm a good muslim man and she needs to take me back" my cousin told him that they would beat the tar out of him before allowing him to come back to the family.. to boot I can't get a restraint order cause he hasn't physcially threathened me yet.. sigh Link to post Share on other sites
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