Texans23 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Ex, and I dated for 2 1/2 years. Knew each other before that. Been broken up for 3 months. After 3 weeks of NC she contacted me. Missed me, I couldn't do it anymore said no more. She contacted me again. Saying still misses me. So we have been talking for the last 2 months. She broke up with me because i didnt have a job, while i was in college. And she nagged for a year to get one. basically pushed her away. I have been changing she likes it. Anyways things have been going great. She agreed to a date to start over, and we hung out once (she lives 2 hours away). She made it clear though she doesnt want to get back together until we are in the same town. because long distance is to hard and shes tired of it. We were long distance for the last year of our relationship. Said she still misses me and still loves. She is the one to always text first. A lot more good stuff, but don't want to go into that. Any who yesterday she posts a status basically saying "waiting for mr perfect", but not that direct (I am not going to explain it). So i basically sent her text saying "I hope I can be that guy for you one day, but i don't want to be a back burner until someone better comes along" and she says "thats why we broke up, you dont know what the future holds". this was a shot to the heart because this came out of nowhere. Note it is the time of the month, and she only gets them once ever 3 months because of the pill. And when it happens she becomes really emotionless and cold. So i dont know if this has to do with it. I basically replied lets be real honest with each other I am not the one for you and you're looking for that perfect guy" she replies "yeah". I tell her basically goodbye dont ever text me again until you figure out what you want. She replies back immediately. "that yeah wasnt for that". (I can see the confusion, but I dont know. I dont believe her). At this point i was like wtf?..she says "what do you want me to say, you want answers right now i don't have. I dont know whats going to happen. You need to get your **** together and graduate and then we can actually talk about getting back together. but until then I wont get back with you"...I said understandable take some time and think and let me know if you still want to do that date and if you are still coming over friday. And she has yet to respond for 24 hours. (no there is so other guy) I am confused at this point. I dont know if its because that time of the month (NOT trying to be rude at all, I explained she changes ). What the hell is going on. I am confused. What should my next steps be? She told me before what she expects out of me first, and wants to work on herself. So i wasnt expecting to get back together for a good year. And thats fine with me because I need to get **** together also, But im just truly confused. any words of wisdom or advice would be wonderful. thank you so much! Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Anyways things have been going great. She agreed to a date to start over, and we hung out once (she lives 2 hours away). She made it clear though she doesnt want to get back together until we are in the same town. because long distance is to hard and shes tired of it. We were long distance for the last year of our relationship. Said she still misses me and still loves. I think you're trying to find trouble where it doesn't exist. You're accusing her of putting you on the back burner when she clearly stated the above to you. Slow down on the over-analyzing. She's willing to give it a shot when you're together, can you not allow yourself to wait for that? Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I completely disagree. She sounds like one of those girls waiting to see what the guy is made of and seeing whether he'll go anywhere. In the meantime she's probably enjoying her single-dom. She can't be with you through thick and thin because you're down and out and don't have a job. Let me guess, once you have a good decent job, she wouldn't wait to get back in your good graces. Sounds like a gold digger if you ever seen one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Texans23 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 I think you're trying to find trouble where it doesn't exist. You're accusing her of putting you on the back burner when she clearly stated the above to you. Slow down on the over-analyzing. She's willing to give it a shot when you're together, can you not allow yourself to wait for that? Thank you for your response, and you're exactly right. I am just getting impatient I guess, and want things to move faster. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Texans23 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 I completely disagree. She sounds like one of those girls waiting to see what the guy is made of and seeing whether he'll go anywhere. In the meantime she's probably enjoying her single-dom. She can't be with you through thick and thin because you're down and out and don't have a job. Let me guess, once you have a good decent job, she wouldn't wait to get back in your good graces. Sounds like a gold digger if you ever seen one. She is not like that at all. She just doesn't want to be with someone whos not motivated. She has graduated college, and has a career and she wants to see the same for me. She doesn't want to spend her life with a non-motivated person. Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Thank you for your response, and you're exactly right. I am just getting impatient I guess, and want things to move faster. Hang in there, be patient and respect her boundaries. You never know what will happen in the future, but being too pushy won't help matters, I know that from personal experience. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 She is not like that at all. She just doesn't want to be with someone whos not motivated. She has graduated college, and has a career and she wants to see the same for me. She doesn't want to spend her life with a non-motivated person. Understandable. But at the same time, she's the one contacting you yet keeping you at a distance? How does that work exactly? If anything respect her boundaries but also tell her to respect yours. In a way she is keeping you on a backburner because she's waiting for you to prove yourself. There's no commitment on her part. she's almost already giving you an ultimatum- if you don't make it, you are not getting back together. If you really want to be a motivated person, you need to want to be motivated for yourself, not just for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Texans23 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hang in there, be patient and respect her boundaries. You never know what will happen in the future, but being too pushy won't help matters, I know that from personal experience. Is there any way I can send you a private message or an email? I have another question, and don't feel comfortable posting it. Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Is there any way I can send you a private message or an email? I have another question, and don't feel comfortable posting it. You have to be a member on here for a month to have private messenging unless you pay for it. I don't give my email out, sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
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