My own 5 yr old nephew criticized my appearance! . .

[ukie-cutie]

This may sound immature to some people. But my own 5 year old nephew looked me in the eye today & told me I was ugly, & fat. My 26 year old sister began laughing at me in return. He is only 5 & he's saying this to me. For some reason usually it doesn't bother me, but it really hurt me. You'd never think a child young as him would say a cruel thing. I'm shocked at how these young children talk these days. I mean . . I understand I'm not thin, but to hear people criticize how you look, like my family does. I've had my own 26 year old sister tell me I'm ugly and worth nothing.

 

How do you dust off hurtful comments & keep going? Especially the one's that are said by the people within your own family?! . .

[dyermaker]

It's likely that you're nephew didn't understand the effects of what he's saying. He's probably, with the media and climate that we live in now, gathered that calling a woman fat/unattractive is destructive, and wanted to test this hypothesis out. Additionally, it's likely that this statement wasn't an appraisal of your physical appearance, but, like I said, a parroting of something he's been conditioned to understand as hurtful. You were his developmental experiment, and if you help him understand that his words were hurtful, he will learn how to treat people in the future.

 

What is destructive is that your sister, an informed adult, says hurtful things to you. If the 5-year old is her child, it's no wonder the child has no respect for you, and it's possible the child is just repeating what he's heard from his negligent mother. You need to make it clear to your sister that you won't tolerate disrespect from her. Family or not, do you really want someone in your life that thinks you're worth nothing?

[ukie-cutie]

Sadly I have confronted her about it, but she truly doesn't care. She finds anyway to criticize me physically. It hurts when your whole family criticizes how you look.

 

And my nephew is my Stepdad's sisters son. And I have told him that the way he talks is not called for, but he goes around saying it still. I really don't no how to win in this type of situation. My nephews mother allows him to watch shows where there is nudity & so forth, & doesn't care. It's not like I can say anything to her, since we aren't very close. All I no is it hurts, everytime I try to feel good about myself, & I succeed, someone always brings me down.

[dyermaker]

The bottom line is, you don't need people in your life who bring you down.

 

Tell your sister that you don't like being treated this way, and you don't want a relationship with her if she's going to continue to talk to you like that. If it continues, remove her from your life.

 

Tell your stepdad's sister that she needs to control her son. It's not a function of closeness, it's common respect. If she refuses, remove her and her offspring from your life.

[ukie-cutie]

I can't remove her from my life because she lives with me! . .

[dyermaker]

You can, it's just less convenient.

 

It's destructive to have these kinds of people in your life. Find a way to move out.

[spacejim]

I know this post is a little belated for your problem, but I agree with the others, you've got to do something. If you can't move out, stand up for yourself and if they don't listen to you after letting them know what souless monsters they're being to you, they have some serious psychological problems. I don't know much about you, so I know this advice might sound ridiculous, but hey. And anyway, you don't deserve that. What they're doing no one deserves, regardless of their appearance, but I read your other post on self consciousness, and if that's a picture of you these people must absolutely insane. Your gorgeous.