Pulled in all directions

[spiderowl]

I have this problem and I can't seem to get out of this. I suffer from depression, have done since I was a teenager, so I frequently find I have days when I feel up to nothing and other days when I feel brighter and as if there are lots of opportunities out there.

 

One of the main problems is that if I have a challenge to meet, like something I need to do by a deadline, or other jobs that are lined up - birthday card for a friend, got to go shopping for food, got to tidy the house or get rid of clutter - they all seem to mount up in my head and I find I can't make a start on any of them. This is causing me serious problems because (a) I am not getting things done when I need to; and (b) they mount up and are going round and round in my head and I'm worried and stressed out, which makes me depressed and lethargic.

 

I know the obvious thing is to get on and tackle these jobs, but some require intense concentration and I feel I can't shut out the thoughts about the other jobs enough to focus. It's a problem with focusing. I end up feeling pulled in all directions and failing. The deadlines loom and it gets worse. Sometimes I just don't bother. I know it's ridiculous and I didn't used to be as bad as this.

 

Any tips on how I can change this thinking would be great. I'd really like to know how I can compartmentalise these things so I'm not thinking of one thing while trying to do another. It's so draining and unproductive.

[january2011]

I find a combination of the following helps:

 

• write them down including deadlines if they have deadlines
  
• automate what you can, e.g., saturday is meal planning and grocery day
  
• never leave the room with your hands empty (pick up an item that belongs in another room and take it there)
  
• keep a box/file of blank birthday cards
  
• clean as you go/tidy up after yourself/put things back as soon as you've finished with them
  
• carry a notebook with you so that you can transfer your to-dos immediately - alternatively use software that syncs across all devices, e.g., Evernote
  
• spend 5 minutes on a task (after 5 minutes, you can choose something else or choose to carry on)
  
• break down major tasks into chunks that only have one action
  
• batch tasks if it makes sense to do so (e.g., if you have to go into town to buy various things, collate these items in one list)
  
• reward yourself when you complete a major task
  

For me, making sure that I'm not hungry or tired also helps as I can get distracted if some basic needs aren't being met.

[River Rain]

^^ Good advice there.

 

When it was at its worst, my depression challenged me even from brushing my teeth twice a day...the smallest task seemed insurmountable. The only way I was able to tackle things was to take it really slowly..one thing at a time. When I could handle the one thing...then I might add another to the list.

 

You have to really fight it though, the depression will want to lull you back to bed, but you have to stand up every day and say NO...get to your list and tick off one or two items, and be proud of yourself for your accomplishments.

[spiderowl]

Thanks, what great suggestions! I do some of them already but the list is really useful.

 

It really is very debilitating. There are so many things I could be doing that would earn me money (which I need) and I just can't focus.

[SpiralOut]

I have this same problem sometimes, though it's a lot better now than it was before. I find it easiest to do just one little thing at a time. Often, I can only do something if I am on my way home from somewhere (eg work or yoga class) and there happens to be a grocery store or dollar store on the way. That way it's not like I'm putting too much effort into doing what needs to be done. Anothing thing I like to do is just write stuff down on a sticky note, grab my wallet and purse, and go out the door for a walk with no intention of doing anything on the list unless I decide that I feel like it. Usually just getting out the door puts me in the mood to check things off the list.

[spiderowl]

Thanks, some good tips here!