whispering_willoww Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 I know it's not necessarily marriage but it could head that way I have been seeing this guy for several months now about a year and 2 months ago he moved to GA. in that transition he told me he loves me and wanted me to come down there with him. I told him I would think about it and then i decided to go. Went down there several times, had some interviews, things were fine for a while. Well he made a stupid financial choice to take over the lease on a friends car. can't go back on it cause he works for the guy. i was upset about that and then i didn't get the job. well now he is saying he has gotten cold feet and he doesn't know if he loves me. He says he cares about me a lot but he is not sure if he knows what love is. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone else. He looked me dead in my face and told me that he loves me so much. I am all that matters to him etc. and now just about 1 1/2 weeks later he doesn't know anymore. This guy he works for is very influential and every since he took this car over it's been hell. now the guy is talking about leaving his wife and moving into a townhouse and my boyfriend thinks he will be able to move there too. I am so frustrated and heartbroken right now. My boss knows i was going to leave and has hired my replacement already and now i have no where to go and noone who is there for me. I feel so alone. it is so hard to open yourself to someone anyway especially with so many past heartbreaks and now here's another one for the list. he told me so many times he loved me and his eyes didn't lie, so why the change? Someone please help me I feel like i'm losing it here. he told me that when he had a chance to think about it he saw how serious our relationship had gotten. I was leaving everything to be with him. he says he cares about me and is just trying to figure out what he wants. he is torn between this. i have found that if he is out of his surroundings he can become easily influenced and i really feel that the guy he works for is using him but he is so caught up in that right now that he can't see straight. I honestly don't feel that there is anyone else however i do feel this guy leaving his wife, he has more than likely talked with my boyfriend and told him what a drag married life can be. i look at it and i think that he is seeing how unhappy this guy is and it's scaring the you know what out of him. i just had a phone call wanting to set up an interview and now i want to call him and tell him that i will be coming down and maybe we could talk then. i just don't know...... Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Ok, you are obviously in a LOT of pain and I'm sorry about that. Guys can be real jerks sometimes. Let's look at this logically. Either your bf actually doesn't love you and doesn't know what love is OR he was convinced by this new guy to dump you. Either way, it doesn't look good. If he doesn't love you, there's nothing you can do. If he was convinced by someone else not to love you, then he is too weak and idiotic for you to date. So what are your choices here: 1.) Stay in your current city and try to forget about him. 2.) Go to his city and move there anyway, even though he just told you he doesn't want to date you any more. What do you think is the better option? In my opinion, when a guy says that "he doesn't know what love is", it's over. Sorry. I think you should accept it and move on... Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 What a bad catch. He sounds like he probably was never in love with you, or even loved you for that matter. Maybe he cares for you, but so what. Get rid of him. He's usless to you. Men don't lie about stuff like this. If they say they basically aren't in love with you, they usually mean it. He isn't afraid of commitment, he isn't masking his feeling to prove his masculinity, nor is he playing hard to get. He's telling you the truth. Will he change? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. It's a crap shoot. But obviously, sticking around isn't helping him grow to love you, so you may as well leave and find a better suiter. Don't feel bad about turning your back, we can't make somebody love us. Get Rid! Link to post Share on other sites
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