natwilliams Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 MY dad has always been an awkward quiet guy but sweet. My dad never taught me anything, ANYTHING about social savvy, dating, friends, or anything growing up. He really is a wonderful genuine caring guy, but just doesn't get it when it comes to social adjustment. Lately, his behavior has been getting really weird. He's almost 60 now. His only friends (still) are TV, our mom, and the three of us kids (now adults). But he actually is getting MORE blabbery. He gets kinda hyper almost at times, especially when we're all home or if there is a guest over. And when he tells stories, even little ones, he draws them out for ten minutes. On top of that, his moderate but nightly drinking seems to make him even more weirdly social and often inappropriate with his humor. Something is odd, and I'm worried it will get worse. What can I suggest to him to become more socially well-adjusted as he ages rather than more awkward? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 The inappropriate humor is one thing, and it shouldn't be a big deal to take your dad aside and say, "I think your joke about Aunt Mary's vagina made people uncomfortable." As far as the rest of it, it's hard to tell from here how serious it is. On one hand, it appears that your dad is embarrassing you, and maybe that's the only issue here. If that's all it is, suck it up and try to learn to enjoy your dad's newfound enthusiasm for telling stories. On the other hand, if his behavior has you honestly concerned for his health and mental well-being, then that is a problem. I think you should bring up your concerns with your mom before suggesting anything to him. Be very delicate about it. "Mom, have you noticed that dad's been acting a little weird lately?" See what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 OMG, your dad sounds like my dad. My dad has always had a weird and even twisted sense of humor. He also has ADD. I've noticed in recent years, he even jokes about his sex life and what he likes about women...to me...his daughter. Some of the things he says are rather crude and disturbing. Link to post Share on other sites
browniecalgary Posted November 24, 2012 Share Posted November 24, 2012 Maybe he needs to be with people of his age more often. How about engaging your dad in few hobbies or group activities? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted November 24, 2012 Share Posted November 24, 2012 There could be a health issue involved here. If he is saying things he never previously said, and embarassing people, then he is less inhibited. It could just be he's decided that at his age, he can do what he likes, but it could be a medical issue. Maybe encouraging him to see his doctor would be a good idea. Brain issues can cause behaviour to change. Drinking too much can too. How do you know his drinking is restricted to the evening? How much is not too much? Is there someone around who didn't used to be who he might be reacting to? Maybe a new boyfriend in the family or a pretty woman who joins you all at times? I just wondered if he was showing off a bit. It's worth mentioning your concern to him and asking him why it's happening when it didn't used to. See what explanation he comes up with and then decide whether you think it makes sense or not. You could ask him about drinking. It might be worth paying attention to where he is when he's not with the family - is he down the pub, off to the shops regularly, in the shed, somewhere where he might be drinking on the quiet? Just a few ideas. Hope it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
KraftDinner Posted November 24, 2012 Share Posted November 24, 2012 I can relate. My parents have always embarrassed me. My mom's just so unpleasant to everyone and my dad is so socially awkward. I don't know that there's ever anything you can do about someone else's behaviour.... Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted November 24, 2012 Share Posted November 24, 2012 I wouldn't worry about it. Seriously he has a wife and kids who still hang out with him so how bad could it be. I mean do you remember the scene in Marry Poppins where they go to visit her uncle. He is floating around the ceiling and can't stop laughing, literally. Oh and the guy next door who is old thinks his house is a boat. Shoots cannons off it and everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Seraffa Posted November 25, 2012 Share Posted November 25, 2012 It sounds similar to early-onset Dementia or Altzheimers. There's a load of information over at ALTZ Connected.org. It definitely sounds like a change in brain chemistry to me. Link to post Share on other sites
crazykat73 Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 I have the same issues with Dad and my step Dad and Mom. IT seems like our relationships are all changing as we get older. I think as with our personal lives, relationships evolve and change -even with our families - those relationships are not immune. Link to post Share on other sites
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