Let's Talk About Stereotypes...

[secretgirl]

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Edited November 7, 2012 by secretgirl

[frozensprouts]

For most of us, the mores of the society that we were raised in have always taught us that sleeping with numerous women is okay for men. However, that kind of behavior is frowned upon when a woman does it. The woman is subsequently thought of as a whore and a slut. This line of thinking goes back to biology and survival of the species: The woman is the one that can get pregnant and carry a child. It's distasteful to imagine a woman with a large belly that has a baby in i,t running around having sex with every man in town. A man has no such limitations. Also, a man can get thousands of women pregnant in a short amount of time as compared to a woman only being able to bring that life into the world every 9 months. So, it isn't abnormal to imagine a man sleeping with all kinds of women.

 

Let's not forget that all throughout history, men were allowed to have more than one wife.

 

this reminds me of the old movie "Dr.Strangelove or How I stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb" ... a guy is very upset about the prospect of an upcoming nuclear war until he realizes that he's one of the few men lucky enough to be chosen to go into a shelter...few men, many, many women....after all, only a few men would be needed to impregnate all those women and repopulate the earth:laugh: ( the movie made fun of that stereotype of what men are like)

[angie2443]

Do you feel it's normal for men to cheat but not women? What are your thoughts?

 

I think men get away with it more because they simply, as a whole, have more power (financial, political) than women. I do think this is changing, slowly, but surely, at least in the USA. The more power women gain, they more they'll be able, for better or worse, to get away with.

 

Just wanted to say, I know that they're plenty of men without power and money. I also know that many men with power don't look at it as a ticket to take what they want even if it hurts people. Also, just because some get by with more cheating, it doesn't mean people are more confortable with it. I think any man or women who feels so privaladged that they can have an "extra" while their partner can't, will be looked down on by a lot of people.

[angie2443]

For most of us, the mores of the society that we were raised in have always taught us that sleeping with numerous women is okay for men. However, that kind of behavior is frowned upon when a woman does it. The woman is subsequently thought of as a whore and a slut. This line of thinking goes back to biology and survival of the species: The woman is the one that can get pregnant and carry a child. It's distasteful to imagine a woman with a large belly that has a baby in i,t running around having sex with every man in town. A man has no such limitations. Also, a man can get thousands of women pregnant in a short amount of time as compared to a woman only being able to bring that life into the world every 9 months. So, it isn't abnormal to imagine a man sleeping with all kinds of women.

 

Let's not forget that all throughout history, men were allowed to have more than one wife.

 

I'm not sure where you are from, but where I'm at and where I was when I was a kid, it was not okay for men to sleep around. They are looked down and mistrusted just as women who sleep around. Also, I, like many I know, don't completely buy into the theory that since men can get a bunch of women pregnant in a short period of time, it's somehow encoded in their genes to have sex with every women they can. Young guys, of course, have lots of testerone which I here makes you want it all the time- so I've heard. I get this. This is not the same as a married man having mistress after mistress to spread their genes or fantisize about spreading their genes. I've known too many decent husbands, boyfriends, and fathers to believe that a large majority are just programed to sleep around without regard to their families at home.

[2sure]

ahahahah!!!

 

BUT... if my husband dies first I think I would get myself a little eye candy who is younger* May a Pool Boy, yeah and .... Who am I kidding. I don't think I could do it. I'm a mother to a son and I think I would feel more a motherly inclination towards a much younger man which would immediately gross me out of anything more.

 

Damn that double standard beaten into society. My head hurts from hitting the glass ceiling, AND having No pool.*

 

 

I honestly thought the exact same thing. Turns out...its completely doable. I mean, just to check it out - not on a regular basis. just saying.

[Tara247]

I'm not sure where you are from, but where I'm at and where I was when I was a kid, it was not okay for men to sleep around. They are looked down and mistrusted just as women who sleep around. Also, I, like many I know, don't completely buy into the theory that since men can get a bunch of women pregnant in a short period of time, it's somehow encoded in their genes to have sex with every women they can. Young guys, of course, have lots of testerone which I here makes you want it all the time- so I've heard. I get this. This is not the same as a married man having mistress after mistress to spread their genes or fantisize about spreading their genes. I've known too many decent husbands, boyfriends, and fathers to believe that a large majority are just programed to sleep around without regard to their families at home.

 

I live in and am from the U.S. In today's society the notion of the male slut is accepted and even admired. Just look at the popular fictional characters that are embraced by society. James Bond comes to mind. I'm sure the new movie "Skyfall" will rake in millions at the box office just like all the other James Bond movies before it. The maried cheater isn't admired for his sexual exploits, but the single male is. Does anybody deny this?

[FelicityShot]

Anyone can cheat whether they are so called good or bad people.

 

To be able to cheat a person needs to be a good liar or be able to live in different compartments. In other words act quite normal with the wife or husband. Some people cheat, but they cannot look at the face of their spouses. Others can act perfectly normal.

 

Cheating also has to do with being in extreme need of emotional needs and external validation. This craving is so big that trumps all logic and morality.

 

Others cheat because they rationalize quite well.

 

Lastly, others cheat because they are narcissistic or sociopathic. They have no ability to feel guilt. They lack empathy for others.

 

Both men and women are equally capable. I don't see a gender issue. In fact more than 10% of kids in so called good marriages are being raised by the wrong father because the mom cheated.

 

By the way, for women it is much easier to cheat than for men.

 

Absolutely. You have a PhD.

 

Kudos

[mercy]

the whole idea of genetics controlling most of what we do it, in its own way, perpetuating a stereotype. The idea that men are somehow "programmed" to cheat while women are "programmed" to stay at home as raise their offspring seems blatantly unfair and subjects both sexes to a stereotype that they simply may not fit into. There are lots of men who are somehow able to ignore their "genes" and be faithful, while there are many women who ignore theirs and choose not to have children....

 

I always find it funny that we've only known about the science of genetics for perhaps 70 years, yet we somehow feel arrogant enough to think that we can use it to explain all sorts of unpalatable behavior. It has, in effect become the new "religion", except instead of blaming the devil when we act poorly, we blame our genes.

 

Or that thing in the jeans.

[FelicityShot]

I want a faithful man - but one who is capable of infidelity. If he only loved me there would be no competition. What would I win?

 

I want a man who chooses me - not one who sees no others.

 

I want to challenge my potential for unfaithfulness - yeah, I'd prefer you, but I thought about it.

 

I want my jealousy aroused - it's nice if I know you're not with me through laziness.

 

I don't want you without the honesty.

[angie2443]

the whole idea of genetics controlling most of what we do it, in its own way, perpetuating a stereotype. The idea that men are somehow "programmed" to cheat while women are "programmed" to stay at home as raise their offspring seems blatantly unfair and subjects both sexes to a stereotype that they simply may not fit into. There are lots of men who are somehow able to ignore their "genes" and be faithful, while there are many women who ignore theirs and choose not to have children....

 

I always find it funny that we've only known about the science of genetics for perhaps 70 years, yet we somehow feel arrogant enough to think that we can use it to explain all sorts of unpalatable behavior. It has, in effect become the new "religion", except instead of blaming the devil when we act poorly, we blame our genes.

 

Great post! I didn't see it earlier. Yes, it does seem like the science of genetics has become the new religion to a lot of people. Funny thing, though, the people who I see who are most into the science of genetics are the ones who benifit from it the most. It's like a lot of people are saying, "it's not my fault, my genes made me do it".

[angie2443]

I want a faithful man - but one who is capable of infidelity. If he only loved me there would be no competition. What would I win?

 

I want a man who chooses me - not one who sees no others.

 

I want to challenge my potential for unfaithfulness - yeah, I'd prefer you, but I thought about it.

 

I want my jealousy aroused - it's nice if I know you're not with me through laziness.

 

I don't want you without the honesty.

 

I guess if this is how you like it, then it makes sense for you. It sounds like a big headache to me. Maybe I'm just at the point in my life where I want to be secure in my relationship so I can focus my energy on the things I want to accomplish. I don't mean that I don't nurture my relationship, I just mean that I wouldn't want to be on the look out all the time.

[frozensprouts]

Great post! I didn't see it earlier. Yes, it does seem like the science of genetics has become the new religion to a lot of people. Funny thing, though, the people who I see who are most into the science of genetics are the ones who benifit from it the most. It's like a lot of people are saying, "it's not my fault, my genes made me do it".

 

 

if one looks at sex from a purely biological standpoint, it's original purpose was the creation of offspring to perpetuate the species, and probably bond the mother and father of the child together, as if two parents are able to engage in food gathering, nurturing and protecting the child, there's a greater chance that the genes will be carried on to the next generation...

 

form a genetic standpoint, what point is served by sex outside of a primary relationship that's centered around the raising of a family? while a man may spread his genes far and wide, there may have been far less chance of any of the resultant offspring surviving through to adulthood to pass the genes on the the next generation...

 

sex today quite often has absolutely nothing to do with passing on one's genes ( in fact, many take great care to ensure that doesn't happen:laugh:)...there's so much more involved that simple biological urges, there's free will, etc.