Wasted almost 2 months NC

[Jay08]

if an ex contacts you and asks what are you doing... either NC or respond "none of your business" and continue doing your new daily routine

 

Wont even responding that make them think they got to you? I'd love a text to send that would piss them off, but not give them any power. Kill them with kindness maybe?

-What are you up to?

-Having drinks with a friend than going back to her place. Hmu some other time.

[CptSaveAho]

Have you ever heard the saying girls like a.ssholes? Did your "kindness" work out in your relationship? Nope

 

"none of your business" works because it creates mystery/drama and it will probably piss them off not giving them what they want (this is a good thing). It wont make them want you back though and every situation is different. It gives them something to think about and in time, they will respect you for standing up for yourself and not being "nice" to someone that treated you like crap

Edited November 26, 2012 by CptSaveAho

[big bear]

I tried to stop chasing her many times but the last glimmer of hope and breadcrumbs always got me.

 

I don't think I will wait for a reply or ask for the reply to the mail. She said last Thursday she wanted to think over it.

 

As for the birthday either will block her, switch off the phone or just respond with a simple thank you. No way I am taking a call.

 

As for the rumors I think I will have to live with them.

[ForeverlovingRami]

Dude we're in the same fking spot! My advice, just total ignore her in all aspects if u wanna get over it. I checked her fb daylie several times, typed to her all that stuff.. Don't be a puppy and stay for crumbs shes just testing water. Leave it be untill you feel fully healed and then if you wish, initiate contact if u know u can keep it on friendly manners. Else just leave it for the process.

 

I know it's hard, hell I'm having a harsh time myself. But it's the only way, else u'd just keep on pushing yourself and your feelings backwards.

[big bear]

So final plan:

 

Won't take the call. If it comes will just message thanks. I hope she does not call or message. Will keep life simple. Birthday just hours away in my time zone.

[big bear]

6 bloody calls this chick made. 5 on waiting and 1 I did not pick up. And still its 00:30 hours.

 

What is wrong with this chick. She is going out with someone but wants to be up to wish me. WTF!!!!

 

Why do I have to take every bread crumb possible. I am not budging. This is my day!!

[big bear]

10 waiting calls, 1 missed call and 1 msg wishing birthday.

 

Have not replied. Am I right in all this??

[geegirl]

F**ked up big time.

 

Spoke to her last sunday. Sent her a mail asking if she would like to give it another try, since its been almost an year now. This was Thursday.

 

She said she will let me know.

 

Yesterday, my friend tells me, she is going out with the guy who was supposed to be just a friend. And many other nasty things.

 

Dunno what to do. Go NC. Ask for a reply. I dunno.

 

Those breadcrumbs make me think she is gonna contact me on Friday (My Bday).

 

Are you right in all of this? Read your post above from 3 days ago. Refresh yourself.

[big bear]

Refresh myself as in.

 

Should I respond. I have not up till now.

 

Everyone says do not respond to her. That is what I am doing.

 

Haven't even replied to the messages.

[geegirl]

Refresh myself as in.

 

Should I respond. I have not up till now.

 

Everyone says do not respond to her. That is what I am doing.

 

Haven't even replied to the messages.

 

Refresh yourself of your reality! After reading what you wrote, you're asking if you should respond?

 

1) She has to think if she wants to try again and she hasn't even answered your question. She can wish you happy birthday and if she wanted to try again, she'll tell you.

 

2) She's doing the nasty with another guy.

 

Should you respond? NO.

 

If she has something of substance to tell you, she will.

[jwhite]

I dont know if I would go so far as to say she is doing the nasty with somebody else...thruth is you have no IDEA and it doesnt even matter.

 

It has been a YEAR dude. Block Block and Block her friends and family too. A good 'ol F*CK OFF will do too. Go back to NC and get on a good dating site like eHarmony or Christian Mingle or something. Look around and talk.

 

If you cannot get her out of your head, go to the gym 2 hours 7 days OR seek a therapist

[big bear]

she called again.. .

number has been blocked.. downloaded an app firm Google play

but I get the alerts

why is she no understanding her actions (I think mostly out of.pity or some unknown affection) are causing me a lot of discomfort

this is total mindf*ck..

bread f*cking crumbs

[big bear]

she called again.. .

number has been blocked.. downloaded an app firm Google play

but I get the alerts

why is she no understanding her actions (I think mostly out of.pity or some unknown affection) are causing me a lot of discomfort

this is total mindf*ck..

bread f*cking crumbs

[LostOne1]

I dont know if I would go so far as to say she is doing the nasty with somebody else...thruth is you have no IDEA and it doesnt even matter.

 

It has been a YEAR dude. Block Block and Block her friends and family too. A good 'ol F*CK OFF will do too. Go back to NC and get on a good dating site like eHarmony or Christian Mingle or something. Look around and talk.

 

If you cannot get her out of your head, go to the gym 2 hours 7 days OR seek a therapist

 

The gym never helped me get rid of my ex in my mind. But I used the anger I have towards her during workouts. Always swearing in my mind about what she put me through and how selfish she was during the BU. That motivates me to work harder.

[big bear]

Something stupid happened. The app malfunctioned and by the time I could check who was calling, I had already picked the call. This was 30 Nov.

 

Me: Hi, why are you up so early.

She: Working

 

Me: (Some general stuff about working too much)

She: Belated Happy Birthday

Me: Thanks

 

She: Why did you not pick my call yesterday?

Me: You know why. You did not even reply the mail. I knew you are gong to say NO. What was the point of it. Did not want to blackmail you in saying a YES neither did I want to hear a no on my birthday.

 

Me: I know about it.

SHe: WHat?

Me: You are going out with that guy.

She: (Sobbing)

Me: Just because you do not enter office together does not people cannot see you in the parking lot or in the mall. I got this from someone whom I did not ask. Someone just wanted to warn me. I am sorry I had to tell you this.

 

Me: Last weekend where were you?

SHe: At home.

Me: Why did you not go out. (It's a special day in our country, a very big festival, kind of like Christmas. 2011 she was out with the same guy.)

She: Did not feel like it.

 

Me: when did it start. Oh wait, I do not wanna know.

She: still sobbing, I always wish you on your birthday.

Me: I told you why I did not pick up.

 

Me: Does anyone else know. Even though its none of my business.

She: NO and pls. do not ask me more.

 

Me: Reconsider your priorities although its upto to you, I do not want reconcilliation.

She: I have hurt you a lot by not taking your calls and blah blah...

 

Me: Good Luck and bye

She: Sobbing. Pls. take care of yourself.

 

Me: you will get late, ask him to wait.

She: I go to work alone.

 

This was one day past my birthday.

 

Took of time before . Still in Denial as my friends call it by not accepting the fact she is out with someone. I think she did not refute so that I may go away.

My points:

1. She did not admit it openly.

2. Did not get defensive

3. Its some office politics.

4. I have some good friends who are girls and I do party with them in a totally platonic way. People do misunderstand.

5. She went out with that guy last year, we were on bad terms ans she said yes I went out with him as a friend.

6. She said I have not told my friends. Totally uncharacteristic of her.

7. It is unlikely they have a future together and she is not the person to be involved in something like this.

8. She refused to admit that they go together to office.

 

My friends:

1. There is no smoke without fire.

2. She said in April she like the guy. They were already flirting in last oct. Though they did break off contact till Jan.

 

Bottomline: I am totally NC now. But the denial part is a little tough to get away from so venting here.

 

NEVER GONNA BREAK THIS NC FOR THE TRUTH OR ANYTHING ELSE.

[cavalier99]

Next time she calls blocked or from another number tell her to F-OFF and to stop STALKING YOU. Then hang up.

 

Or just hang up. Don't get trapped in these conversations.

[big bear]

mark my words.. I am going to change my number in 2013

 

just want to get rid of the denial for now..

[big bear]

Someone tell me how to get out of Denial.

 

NC is ok,, never gonna break it now. Have not touched a drop of alcohol because I am afraid I may drink and dial.

 

Will NC wash of this too??

[big bear]

Any thing on getting rid of denial. I am hard cold NC, which I will never ever break but I think this denial is not letting me move on. Kind of defeating the purpose of NC.

[big bear]

So, I am on day 33 of NC. I come back early from work, take a nap and BAM!! I dream of us getting back together.

 

Things are not too well on professional front (and will remain f*cked up till 31 Jan) but it is highly likely that professionally things will be perfect by 1 Feb. A new boss and a new city.

 

Could it be stress. That evil bitch. She did not admit or deny. Left me in Denial.

 

33 days before I told her she will never hear from me again and that is what I will do. Will never break NC.

 

But someone help with denial.

 

Or is this just work stress.