Update on infidelity

[ringo]

For an update on my lying, cheating and baby making, STD Giving Marine husband that I have.... you know the one who returns from Iraq and has 4 different affairs and another child with one of them... he comes clean July 9th... due to my demands of calling one of the women....

 

Anyhow... update... about every 3 days something NEW comes up that he "forgot" to tell me or that he "lied" about.

 

I've been pretty much suicide if I could call it that. I don't leave the house... shower once a week - (I know I'm disgusting) I don't eat, don't sleep (look it's after 4am and I'm on here!) I'm driving myself crazy.... ready to check myself into a clinic when the insurance company basically tells me they have no beds available... I'm own my own. I think this "Panic attack" medicine that the doctor put me on is making me crazy!! I've lost 17 pounds.... I'd weigh about 92 if I didn't have big breasts..... but thank God for those..... (or should I thank my surgeon?) Anyhow... at least I still have my humor at times like this....

 

Well, I decided that I'm not the problem... I'm not crazy.... he's the one doing this to me and I'm allowing him to. So I told him I done.... completely. I don't deserve any of this! Since.... I feel better - yet he still walks around this house like he doesn't care about anything. (Although he's never shown emotion well). He's been sleeping on the couch until he decides whether to re-enlist or get out in a few months.... he changes he mind one day to the next. I still think I should turn his ass in, but then again he breaks out the knee pads for everyone in his command so I doubt anything would happen to him.... but that's another issue.... as always...

 

 

Tonight he tells me that he'll take a polygraph to prove he's not lying about anything else... he swears he'll never do it again... blah blah blah.... I asked him how he thinks he's really learned his lesson.... "I don't know... losing my family I guess".... ok then I asked.... you had sex with xxx unprotected, the the next night had sex with xxx unprotected and she got pregnant and had your baby.... then you go sleep with xxx and xxx still with no condom and no birth control..... you didn'learn your lesson when xxx got pregnant because you kept having unprotected sex... so how can you "PROVE" you've learned your lesson now??

 

The way I look at it... I love this man... I do... but not enough to kill myself because he's hurt me so bad. Nor do I want to stay in a marriage where I'm always wondering what he's doing.... Hell he even lied about going to strip clubs and getting lap dances!!! I've asked him to go with me there several times and he acts like it's disgusting!! But he'll go alone and lie to me about it!!

 

All in all... I can stay and live in misery - praying and hoping for the best.... but future prediction tells me this will happen again....

 

OR..... I can move on with my life.... praying for healing, strength all that jazz..... and just deal I guess....

 

I don't know... I go back and forth.... I'm not happy I know that... I'm thinking about taking a vacation alone... no SO and no kids.... just me..... I think it will help....

 

Thanks for listening..... just felt like ranting after replying to everyone else's stuff.... although it helps me forget about my troubles when I do that!!

 

Best wishes to you all!

[Debster]

Yikes, your husband sounds like he doesn't give a dam& about anyone else besides himself (and his dick). IMO, you don't need him. However, I know it is easier said than done. I do think you need to work on yourself though and get yourself over this hump. Is there a friend, family member or minister you can talk to? I do think you need to have counselling in some sort.

 

good luck.

[Mr baseball]

I feel your pain! You should never think about "ending it all" or maybe you should go see the doc about the meds. I am in the same tight spot as you. My wife has cheated,lied,and just will not tell me what is going on. I have no idea what the future holds for me or my family. I run my mind in all directions with ideas and its getting old. I want to work on this or move on. I think she wants to hang out until September and then move out. I think its funny how something that felt so good for a long time went to crap so fast. I cant understand how people that you love can do such bad things with no regret.

[Mr Spock]

It almost seems to me that you've lived with the agony and mistrust and pain so long you don't know how to live without it. Like self flagellation. I really don't think there is much of a relationship to save here. When you've had enough, you'll get out. I'm just thankful he's not hitting you.

[ringo]

I have been seeing a Chaplain (however he's been out of town) and our insurance will only cover this and that.... it's a bunch of crap with the military. They say they'll help - but they never have really. When my H was found guilty of child abuse (he spanked our son and left bruises) and spousal abuse - NOTHING ever happened to him. He got a DUI and most Marines will lose pay, rank or both... he just can't drive on the base for a year.... HOG WASH! Like I said, he breaks out the knee pads for these people - which some of them even know about the affair - Adultery is a crime committed against the UCMJ.... he can go to jail and be kicked out...

 

However, Clinton did it and nothing happened to him... so I won't hold my breath.

 

I do believe that I'm so used to being treated like **** that I don't know any better these days. But thinking about killing myself these past 2 weeks have actually opened my eyes up... Kill myself over this **** bag!?!?! NO WAY! He'd get my life insurance, the kids.... NO WAY!!!

 

So, come hell or high water - soon I will be gone... like I said - he sleeps on the couch and we barely talk - but I'm so done!! I think I may even take a shower today and clean myself up and hit the town this weekend with the girls just to have a change of scenery (anything besides this dam bedroom)....

 

Thank you all for your help though.... it's nice to vent sometimes...