what is wrong with him? !

[karen]

my b'f and i have lived together for about two years now and have had very few problems until recently. he has gotten moody cause of his work and is easily stressed and it is very annoying.

 

it is also affecting him and us in other ways, i don't want to be around him when he gets in his moods but where am i going to go? also when i mention cleaning the house now days he says he'll clean up his stuff and that's all.

 

i'm tired of him being so moody, i know that's classical behavior for an alcoholic but he don't drink much, but maybe he'd chill more if he did, i don't know tho.

 

what can i do, i've pointed this out to him before but he denies it when i tell him or ask him why are you crabby or is something wrong? he tells me he is not crabby or nothing is wrong, yet why is he so crabby then?

 

any advice? before i boot him out and i don't want to over something so stupid yet i'm tired of being his emotional punching bag. he is this way with others at work too from what i've heard anyway. he works with his family, mom, brother, sister in law, so it's easy to be that way at work i guess.

 

i know he has a hard job other then with his family he always does real-estate and loan work so when he sees $4000.00 in commission going out the window to know fault of his own, i can understand, but what can i do? help!

[Tony T]

Every person reacts to stress differently. It sounds like there are a lot of highs and lows in his job and it is likely he will have this personality for a long time, until the years mellow him.

 

You cannot change the situation. He is not reacting to you personally, he is just stressed, frustrated, angry, etc. about work and when people are in those kinds of moods, it's just really hard to be sweet and nice.

 

I don't understand why this just started recently. Only you would be able to tell. Maybe things just started going bad at work. If there is a way he can go back to doing what he did before the moodiness set in, you might suggest this to him.

 

Otherwise, if he won't change, it's up to you to either live with it or live without him.

[Deejette]

He has to get to the place where he says, "I can't stand being this way any more." Then you can suggest seeing a cousellor to work out some of his anger in constructive ways. Otherwise, if you try to solve the problem by either nagging, lecturing, or threatening, it won't work.

 

Something is eating away at him that is making him so unhappy. But it is not your job to solve all his problems for him. A girlfriend is not a shrink.

Every person reacts to stress differently. It sounds like there are a lot of highs and lows in his job and it is likely he will have this personality for a long time, until the years mellow him. You cannot change the situation. He is not reacting to you personally, he is just stressed, frustrated, angry, etc. about work and when people are in those kinds of moods, it's just really hard to be sweet and nice. I don't understand why this just started recently. Only you would be able to tell. Maybe things just started going bad at work. If there is a way he can go back to doing what he did before the moodiness set in, you might suggest this to him. Otherwise, if he won't change, it's up to you to either live with it or live without him.