I'm breaking no contact tomorrow...

[CptSaveAho]

No offence while you are saying such words to me. Before writing all this you should atleast have taken a look at my last reply to my own post "Why cant I..." which says..." So that is why, whenever I feel down i came here now, and its only because of my hubby that I have started healing, and I know very soon I will be out of it. Thats why I mentioned in my first line that although I am on healing process, but sometimes I feel broken, and this all is due to my unfinished studies only. I know once I clear that I will be bzee with my loving husband and will never look back at my past".

 

Well if u still want to meet my hubby and give him ur password or watever then I will give you his id. Had I been a fake person here, I would have never mentioned about my marriage in first place and would have posted wat I feel without leaking that I am married person, i could have even passsed time posting on Dating site of LS.

 

I came to this site for two reasons...(1)Yes I still do miss my ex .... coz I was with him for 6 years and we broke up one year back only .... but I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME but yes I am getting over him. (2) I did not wanted to hurt my hubby anymore by involving him into these non sense bouts of deepression that I still get, especially due to my study work. Moreover my hubby knew everything about my ex as well as wat I am going thru right now also. He is very supportive person and I do love hima nd respect him for that. I have stoped eating his head for my past and that is why I came to this site to vomit out watever is left inside me out here so That I NEVER LOOK BACK...It is my way of not hurting him and yet getting over with my emotional outbursts.

 

And if u think why I jumped into another relationship (marriage) without getting over my ex....then I want to tell u that sometimes things are not in your hands, and it was my family who forced me into this. And I said yes to marriage coz I have already caused them pain and I didnot wanted them to be tensed for me anymore. And today I am happy that they made this decision and I found a wonderfull person like my husband. Before my marriage I only had one relationship...and that was with my ex only. So I may not have as much experience as yours in handling relationships.

 

I suggested ReadMyThread to do what he wanted to do only for the simple reason that he might not regret for rest of his life.... it was as simple as that....But reading all the comments for other people around here I have found that eveyone just speaks from their own experiences and now U have really made me think that I HAVE VERY LITTLE EXPERIENCE IN LIFE, and I should stop suggesting people here.... So this is what I am going to do now.

 

Thanks again.... U closed the vent which I kept open so that I could have released all my pain completely... I think I should better deal with wat I feel, inside me only, no need to vent it out here too. Especially coz I am a MARRIED WOMAN NOW!

 

healthy people dont date, enter relationships or marry those that are not over an ex.

 

self talk all you want but a forum/husband is not going to help you deal with your demons... a team of shrinks will though

[ReadMyThread]

UPDATE....

 

Well today is the day ladies and gents. Today I find out. I'll be going with what Gibson said. If its friendship she wants, I will specifically tell her no and tell her to never contact me again and change my number. I'm not going to be mean with her but I will hold my own and be direct. Only time will tell. I'm sending it to her later on today as I have some errands to go run right now. Stay tuned guys I'll need you lol.

[todreaminblue]

Before you guys go yelling at me not to let me tell you why. Right now, I sit and think. "What if we did get back together." "Is she hurting right now?" "I wonder if she is crying now.". See, the thing is, she broke NC 3 times after 63 days and the 3rd time she broke it it was with a Facebook message saying, "Please talk to me... Your the one who said we could be friends and that's what you wanted.". That made me look at her page and she posted a status that made it obvious that dumping me was something she now regretted. She posted this status BEFORE she tried to reach out to me the 3 times that she has. I haven't replied to her at all.

 

Ever since I have got that message. I have been going crazy. It makes me think she wants to get back together but I really don't know if that's what she wants. Everybody says, ignore them until they clearly tell you that they regret what they have done and want you back but to be honest, I don't see someone just coming STRAIGHT OUT and saying something like that without AT LEAST A LITTLE conversation to open it up. I mean would you open up a conversation with, "OH MY GOD I MADE A MISTAKE I LOVE YOU PLEASE TAKE ME BACK?". No.

 

So with her sending me these messages and posting that status about regretting it, I feel I have to break no NC and see what she wants IN ORDER TO MOVE ON! If I don't contact her back, I'm just going sit here and wonder why she sent me these messages and texted me, and everything along there. (Is she missing me now?. Why is she even trying to talk to me).

 

I'm going to reply with this...

 

"With all do respect ______, and I don't mean this in any mean way but usually when someone breaks up with someone they are basically telling that person that their life would be better without you in it and that they want nothing to do with you anymore so I don't comprehend why you are trying to contact me. If it is that serious, you know where I live. lol.".

 

Should I changed anything about it? It sounds too angry doesn't it? Like I'm mad at her. I mean I am lol but I don't want it to come off like that. I was thinking the ending should be "If it is that serious, you know where I live and you know my phone number. lol.". As in then it would lead to her texting me on why she did it instead of in person if that were the case. I'm lost.

 

IF SHE REPLIES, then I will know she either wants to be with me or just wants to be friends (which won't be happening that's for sure. Ever.) Then I can either make the decision of being with her or tell her that we can't be friends and then move on KNOWING that she doesn't want to be with me anymore.

 

IF SHE DOESN'T REPLY, then I know she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. It will hurt but hey, then I will know and wouldn't sit here wondering why she did this and what she is thinking right? Then I can move on.

 

Breaking NC would be better for me I think. In order to move on. Do you guys think I should change anything in my respond to her? And do you guys think I should break NC? I HAVE to know what she is thinking and wants. It's killing me!

 

Like I said before, If she did in fact wanted to be with me again I wouldn't see her coming STRAIGHT OUT and saying it without some sort of response from me. She is stubborn lol. I KNOW she regrets it due to her facebook status. I should just talk to her. See what she wants and if she wants me I'll have a decision to make and if she doesn't, life will go on. What the hell? I feel stupid for posting this. I'm so lost guys. Please help.

 

 

 

i think its due respect not do respect and dont lol at the end....i dont think you really find it funny you are going crazy and crazy aint funny...i know that for sure.

 

I think you should want to keep it serious she dumped you so don't be light hearted about that, i am sure that fact hurt you, you seriously want to find out where her head is at, so keep it to what you feel in your heart....thats my opinion and i wish you the best.....deb

[QdB]

Whatever you do...DO NOT BE HER FRIEND...that is all

[StarsOnFire]

All he is doing is telling her he was never her friend (He was her BF) and has no interest in being one.

 

How is that rude? Did he disrespect her? Attack her? Criticize her? Call her a name?

 

Do you think he should dismiss what he wants, needs, what is best for him, kiss her ass, agree to be her Gay Best Friend even though he does not want too?

 

He should agree to be her Gay Best Friend even though he does not want too because he should not upset her / hurt her feelings / let her down?

 

How long have you been a chump / doormat / pushover?

 

If he says what Gibson wrote, she has every opportunity to pursue something more than a "friendship".

 

Wow dude, calm down. Where did I say he should be her friend? And WTF does being gay have to do with anything, you are being so ridiculous it's making me laugh.

 

After you take a deep breath, stop making things up. What I told him to write says he does NOT want to be her friend, and for her to go have a nice life. Good karma for all. Perhaps you're confusing what I wrote with someone else's response?

 

All I'm saying is that he doesn't have to be like OMGZ IM NOT UR FRIEND! NEVER WAS!! Because when they were dating, guess what, they had a friendship too.

 

Reread what I wrote, and let me know where you saw me writing that he should stay friends with her. Or is reading not your strong point?

[ReadMyThread]

i think its due respect not do respect and dont lol at the end....i dont think you really find it funny you are going crazy and crazy aint funny...i know that for sure.

 

I think you should want to keep it serious she dumped you so don't be light hearted about that, i am sure that fact hurt you, you seriously want to find out where her head is at, so keep it to what you feel in your heart....thats my opinion and i wish you the best.....deb

 

Thanks deb lol. For the advice and the error I made in my text I was planning on sending. You are right though. I will have to keep it serious. Thanks.

[ReadMyThread]

Are you serious?

 

Let's break down what you wrote...

 

 

 

Why is he SORRY and apologizing for being dumped for another guy?

 

Is he SORRY that she had to date him?

 

Is he SORRY that he isn't the other guy?

 

Is he SORRY that she had to dump him?

 

Is he SORRY that he can't do what she wants / when she wants even though she dumped him for someone else?

 

Is he SORRY for having a boundary?

 

Let me guess, if your GF were to cheat on you... You would first apologize and tell her you are SORRY for being upset with her and of course, you wouldn't break up because you wouldn't want to upset her or let her down.

 

 

 

This is pathetic and weak!

 

Don't mind me, I don't have any self-respect, don't know my own self-worth, my feelings and what I want doesn't matter. You go right ahead and dump me for someone else. After all, our "friendship" and not upsetting you is really what is most important. We are going to be friends, right?

 

 

 

Again, pathetic and weak!

 

Ex, I am a bigger pussy than you and I thought. We should also agree that I am dumb too. Seriously, why did I ever think I was man enough to be your friend?

 

If I wasn't so pathetic and weak, we would be friends. I wish I was, then I could learn a lot from you and the new certified stud you left me for. I bet he he bangs you, he makes your eyes roll back into your head. Maybe one day, when I am stronger you can tell me how to be half the man he is.

 

 

 

WTF?

 

Ex, dumping me was the best thing you ever did and I never deserved you. I am not good enough for you. Hope you and the guy you dumped me for are happier than you ever were with me.

 

 

 

I've never asked a girl out to be her "friend" and I have never entered into a relationship to be her "friend", I am not marrying someone to be their "friend" and I have never dumped someone to be their "friend".

 

I am looking for a GF / Wife, so why would I? To torture myself and the other person?

 

Why would I want to be treated like a "friend"? Or worse, why get dumped or cheated on because the person I am with wants, needs, desires a BF / Husband, not a "friend"?

 

 

 

I read what a chump / doormat / pushover you are so I think my reading skills are just fine.

 

Well this is pretty much everything I need to hear lol.

[suladas]

Well this is pretty much everything I need to hear lol.

 

Not really, his post goes beyond reality and comes across as bitter.

[suladas]

If what StarsOnFire is so great, why not send it your Ex?

 

Here is what he said to say...

 

 

 

Don't stop with your Ex. When you run into the new guy your Ex is sleeping with... Apologize and wish him the best too.

 

Where did I say that is a good thing to send? Look above, I said send what Gibson said. I'm saying you're going way overboard with everything else and sound very bitter.

[rn0408]

Tell her this:

 

"I am not physically, emotionally, or thankfully attracted to you anymore. It's obvious you don't know what you want and you need to figure yourself out more. I am not a rebound and I am attracted to other women, you don't compare to the ones I checking out. I realized I could do better and you did me a favor breaking up with me."

 

#WINNING

[Simon Phoenix]

Don't confuse the poor kid. Go with what gibson wrote.

[suladas]

Tell her this:

 

"I am not physically, emotionally, or thankfully attracted to you anymore. It's obvious you don't know what you want and you need to figure yourself out more. I am not a rebound and I am attracted to other women, you don't compare to the ones I checking out. I realized I could do better and you did me a favor breaking up with me."

 

#WINNING

 

That is a horrible thing to say. Plus most people would see right through the hate and know it is coming from still having feelings.

[Addison312]

Tell her this:

 

"I am not physically, emotionally, or thankfully attracted to you anymore. It's obvious you don't know what you want and you need to figure yourself out more. I am not a rebound and I am attracted to other women, you don't compare to the ones I checking out. I realized I could do better and you did me a favor breaking up with me."

 

#WINNING

 

Hilarious. Obviously, it shouldn't be said aloud. But it made me LOL.

[KatZee]

Are you kidding me with this thread right now? FIVE PAGES deep now? Honestly, how long does it take to type out one sentence and hit send? Maybe a minute max? What exactly are you waiting for? Instead of sitting here dragging this crap out for hours you could be starting a whole new thread about how you know the truth now, and you're moving on for good. Come on already. Stop delaying the inevitable already. Get it OVER with already!

[ReadMyThread]

Well I BROKE IT. I sent her a Facebook message saying, "I've been indecisive on wheatear I should respond to these messages you sent but you said, "Please talk to me...". Therefore, if you want to talk, you know my number.".

 

Then she texted me 40 minutes after that saying "Hi...:/" what now guys? Well first I'm goin to let her sweat it out on me replying back but what do I say? Ask her what she wante to talk about? Tell her what Gibson said?

 

WOOOOW I'm using my phone to post this and as I was writing this she sent me another text message saying, "I'm sorry...". So now I will wait alittle bit. IM NOT FORGIVING HER FOR WHAT SHE DID. so I'm not going to say its okay or don't worry about it. I think I should just go to asking what we wants? Agree? I need you guys!?

[suladas]

Well I BROKE IT. I sent her a Facebook message saying, "I've been indecisive on wheatear I should respond to these messages you sent but you said, "Please talk to me...". Therefore, if you want to talk, you know my number.".

 

Then she texted me 40 minutes after that saying "Hi...:/" what now guys? Well first I'm goin to let her sweat it out on me replying back but what do I say? Ask her what she wante to talk about? Tell her what Gibson said?

 

WOOOOW I'm using my phone to post this and as I was writing this she sent me another text message saying, "I'm sorry...". So now I will wait alittle bit. IM NOT FORGIVING HER FOR WHAT SHE DID. so I'm not going to say its okay or don't worry about it. I think I should just go to asking what we wants? Agree? I need you guys!?

 

I think I would say something like "do you have anything more to say then sorry?" or "why do you want to talk to me?"

[ReadMyThread]

<Facepalm>

 

As we all suspected, she is just being "friendly" and relieving guilt.

 

I wouldn't say or ask a thing. She is not interested in a second chance.

 

I don't know man. She is going CRAZY right now. Read the new thread I just posted so we can end this loooong a** thread lol. Please do I need help.