Personality -VS- Looks?? Which do you REALLY prefer?

[Final Heaven]

Guys looks out for hot looking girls and girls looks out for hunky good looking guys. Its like tit for tat. I dunno how females think, but for guys its most of the time its about look. Some of us would fantasize about the hot looking gal that past by for some but only for a short period of time,others might even actually give a shot at things and try wooing hot and good looking girls.

 

Its in the male nature to want to posses something of a status such as a hot looking girlfriend. I mean it feels good to walk around and show off your hot looking girlfriend and know that other guys envy you or just to let everyone know indirectly that you got the mojo which attracts her. Its like buying a car, I mean why do people buy Ferraris when they can buy like 2 merc benz for the same amout of money. Its for the status and definitely not for the comfort. Zooming around town in your ferrari gets you more attention compared to zooming around town on your merc benz. Then its always comes to the sex where guys always wonder, wow I wonder how she acts and reacts in bed. It just irresistible to know that you have power and control over something so beautiful in bed.

 

I am not saying that relationship build on looks are bound to fail, some do survive but majority are doomed. If a guy or girl is good looking basically there are like tons of people trying to win them over, so there is more competition and more choices to pick. When that happens us humans tend to take things for granted and not value what you have. Unless of course somehow both personality and looks were a great match from the start.

 

But there will be a time where looks does not matter anymore. Say you spend alot of time with an average looking girl who knows how to adapt to your personality,care for you,respect and show some amount of concern for your well being you tend to grow fond of her and thats when you like them for who they are and not for how they look. Thats when personality wins over looks.

 

For me I would rather be in a relationship with an average looking girl who has a good personality then be with a good looking girl with a sucky personality. But then if you were to ask me to choose on the spot without knowing which has better personality then I must admit as a normal human being I would definitely go for the good looking girl. We are after all human and we always want the best of things.

[emra]

Originally posted by UCFKevin

I've said this time and time again.

 

Looks will open the door. Personality will let you in.

 

 

 

I agree 100%. I think we all look for the hotties. It is not just guys, even if it is that we are "just looking"

That does not mean at all that that would be the person we spend the rest of our life with. I think we would all like to have that someone that everyone else a bit jealous. Wishing they had what you did.

[goodnbad]

Personally, if a guy marries a beautiful, model-perfect but brainless woman, I say he got what he deserved!

 

Funny, though, how the beauties are often divorced by their guy, who has turned to a non-beauty? Perhaps he's realized that the plain Jane HAS to have something going for her more than looks? Like Judge Judy says, "Beauty fades, dumb is forever." I think as people age, looks become less important.

 

Although I am probably what you would call 'average' in looks, I have been hit on by attractive guys (this would be in my single and looking days!)---and I have to admit that I would NEVER date a guy that looks like a fashion model. My opinion, prejudiced by stereotypes as it might be, is that the guy knows that he looks good and will act the part. He will always feel a little superior (read: shallow) and THAT is something I find very unattractive in a man.

 

goodnbad

[Mr Spock]

I think it's "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view get an ugly girl to marry you"

 

Just FYI.

[meanon]

the long legged, blonde haired *usually dyed*, bone thin women who sometimes lack in personality?

 

I'm OK about people not finding me attractive based solely on my looks - their loss. I do find it annoying when people infer negative things about me based solely on my appearance.

 

I agree with Curly. Physical attraction, chemistry is important to me as well as personality. Looks come into it to some extent but they are by no means the critical factor (within limits). Charisma, charm, humour and intelligence are far more important to me.

 

People are different and I've yet to meet anyone who can control such a basic response as attraction. To that extent, we are all shallow - we simply respond to different triggers.

[sinner]

Physical attraction, chemistry is important to me as well as personality. Looks come into it to some extent but they are by no means the critical factor (within limits). Charisma, charm, humour and intelligence are far more important to me.

 

Well said, meanon. I'll just add that you have all of the above in great abundance.[font=century gothic][/font]

 

[elvengrl]

i'd have to say that looks play a large roll for me.. however.. i don't get ridiculous & go for someone that's in the top 1 % of the world as far as looks go... besides, those guys are almost always gay anyway.. so it doesn't really matter, now does it?.. lmao..

 

i try to find people that are in the range that i believe myself to be. i also don't usually look at the kind of males that most women find attractive... like, that nick guy that's married to jessica simpson.. to me, he's just barely at the "decent" level, definitely not the hottest thing i've seen... i am friends with guys that are better looking than he is... by far. lol

 

i never thought mel gibson was hot... i didn't ever have a crush on one of the backstreet boys.. and i don't like men with short hair.. or short spikey hair... or facial/body hair... i don't like blondes or red heads... i'm not into the latino, european, middle eastern or black men... i don't have a thing for italians... i never thought brad pitt was sexy... or tom cruise... there's only been a couple guys that i thought were attractive that most women liked... one was dean cain.. the dude who played superman on lois & clark... anyway.. you get the idea.. i'm sure..

 

another HUGE turn off for me is when you meet someone who's got a good personality & looks good.. & they make you laugh & stuff, cuz you think they're being silly... but they end up being dumb as a box of rocks.. like jessica simpson... borderline retarded... that is NOT attractive. lol it's like... i don't want my children to get their brains from your side of the family.. how many times were you dropped on your head after you were born?.. lol

 

i went out with a guy for 3 1/2 years.. all based on his personality... i really liked the guy... but there was a problem. i didn't ever want him to touch me... he was a dream boat in the personality department, but i just hated looking at him... i would try to blank out, or stare at a wall or something instead of him... lol it took him 3 1/2 years to realize that i was never gonna love him the way he loved me... which that broke my heart, but i learned my lesson... i need someone i find attractive.

 

now... before you jump down my throat... i have dated guys that were amazingly hot... or famous guys.. and i had similar reactions to them, because their personalities sucked.. or they grossed me out somehow.. those kinda guys aren't all they're cracked up to be, either.

 

so in conclusion... i would have to say that i want someone that is at least my level of attractiveness, who's intelligent- i'm not asking for someone who's a rocket scientist, just someone intelligent enough to hold a conversation with & that reads a book once in a while.. playboy doesn't count, fellas. lol and he has to be someone that can make me laugh & treats me nicely. i think that's what every woman wants. so if you're ugly & you know it, but you still have ridiculous expectations from women... i suggest you write a letter to extreme makeovers... or start saving... and get some work done on yourself...

 

men... good lord. men can get sooooo ridiculous. they're sitting there lookin' like fat bastard or bill gates & think pamela anderson will go out with them... yeah... MAYBE if you're filthy stinkin' rich & the girl you want is a skanky whore. but you know... if you're that rich, why don't you hire a personal trainer, get your weight (or lack of weight) under control, get some plastic surgery & then go after the pamela types?... Or whatever you find attractive.. Rather than be cruel & make her sleep with you when you know you look like hell... it's sad when you're low enough to allow a woman to act like she loves you, but she really wants puke every time you have sex... lol get a grip on reality fellas! go for people in your range of attractiveness! if you're ugly & wanna be with a supermodel... you have 2 options. fix the ugly (but that'll just spread to your children) or get filthy stinking rich.

 

~ elvengrl

[moimeme]

lol get a grip on reality fellas! go for people in your range of attractiveness! if you're ugly & wanna be with a supermodel... you have 2 options. fix the ugly (but that'll just spread to your children) or get filthy stinking rich.

 

Or find someone who has a heart. People you might think 'ugly' may be excruciatingly hot to others. Funny thing, that; everybody's taste is different.

[CurlyIam]

I once met the brother ofone of my friends.He was way older than us, but it was such a show to watch ! I'm not saying he was ugly. Far from it. But he was rather short, quite hairy, started to have a belly - a little one, and you could see he'd go bald one day - he was in his twenties at the time.

 

But, God, he had the prettiest blue eyes, even though he had not what I could call a nice looking face. He knew how to be attractive. HE thought he was very attractive, and this made most women melt. The being sure of himself thing. He ended up going out with the best looking girls in town - incidentally, all much younger than him and all rich.

 

He had read tons and was an expert on female psichology. As I said before, it was fascinating to see how he made perfect stranges fall inlove with im after a quater an hour of conversation.

 

Sure, you could see he was a player, a person who wanted (and usually got ) things from women, you could see he was a user, but HE WAS NOT A BEAUTIFUL MAN. Amazing, I tell you !!!

 

So sometimes it's not even a question of taste... it's all about pheromones, pure atraction, phisical attraction, that has nothing to do with the phisic really !!!! Ain't that funny !!!

[ziggue]

What matters to me the most is personality and physical attraction. If you feel nothing for someone why bother getting with them in the first place if nothing is there between both of you to begin with?

 

Looks will open a door personality will let you in.

 

Agree with that saying too. .

 

Looks catch your eye. Whether the person is attractive, looks interesting or stands out from everybody else. Personality will make you fall for the person and love who they are. Especially if physical attraction is there.

[Papillon]

I'd have to say that looks are very important to me. If I had to choose between two women, I'd always go for the more attractive one.

 

But to sustain a long-term relationship, the girl would have to have the personality to match. So I'd probably dump her (or be dumped) before long.

 

Now you know why I'm single. Looks will happily make me chase after a woman, but it won't make the relationship last.

[katie79]

all you men keep saying "looks are playing a major role in choosing a dating partner." That's bs. Men don't realize they'd pick a plain looking woman w/a great attitude about herself rather than a gorgeous woman who think nothing of herself. I've seen it happen. Pretty women getting dumped, cheated on, used, left, whatever. Plain women who think their wonderful and wont accept that get treated like queens. IT's all in the attitude. The same goes for women liking men too. Looks can be attractive, but a person's overall attitude can change that. An attitude shines through in your looks. Sarah Jessica Parker, personally, I don't think her face is that attractive, but she carries herself well. She appears to look "cute" and men find that attractive. Still don't believe me? How many married men do you see with ugly or plain looking wives? Many. They looked that way before marriage too.

Also,

How many times have you heard a woman say..."She so beautiful and smart, how come she can't find anyone?" Sound familiar?

It's not looks OR Personality!

 

It's all about Attitude!

[Jilly10340]

I think that in the beginning looks are what draws you towards a person. When you get to know their personality, then the way you look at them changes.

 

Like I've met really hot guys that I've gotten to know that were real jerks. After awhile, they're not so hot anymore.

 

However, a average looking man who's really nice and sweet just seems to get cuter over time.

 

I dunno, maybe that's just me....

[loveregardless]

to be less attractive. not that I'm conceited, because I don't think I'm a 10 or anything, but then you would know which they were really after, ya know? guys never like me for my personality, I have too much of it I suppose, they like me at first but then when they find out that I have my own opinions and am quite often more intelligent than them, they can't handle it. They seem to prefer the unintelligent types (along with many other adjectives that I am not)...at least that's what it seems like to me...

Even my boyfreind now doesn't appreciate my true personality, sometimes I worry that he only loves me as much as he does because he thinks I'm pretty

 

I think that personality makes a person hot...I think intelligence makes a person gorgeous...I think being unique is the sexiest thing in the world...(sigh)

 

for instance....I think Papillion is dreamy, just something about that cynical personality of his that sweeps a girl right off her feet...haha, but don't tell HIM that....

[Merin]

Well I think that looks are of importance.... there needs to be an attraction to compel a person to want to find out more about someone.

[netrie]

Bottom line...

[Jilly10340]

Initially.........but I don't care how hot you are, if you're a jerk and treat me like crap you gotta go!

[Merin]

Originally posted by Jilly10340

Initially.........but I don't care how hot you are, if you're a jerk and treat me like crap you gotta go!

 

Amen sister

[loveregardless]

as Jilly said, it doesn't matter how hot you are if you open your mouth and I don't like what I hear coming out of it, it's like an insta-ugly button for me, I can't even think your cute anymore if you're an a$$

[YellowLioness]

I couldn't be with someone whom I didn't find attractive, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks.

 

For me, personality makes a man. Being handsome just makes a nice man prettier to look at. *shrugs*

[katie79]

You bf should find all aspect of you stimulating and attractive. Not just looks, but personality. He shouldn't be turned off of the fact you have brains. That's a hard trait to come by nowadays! I love my fiancee's face, coloring, features, body, personality(when he's not too quiet or a bast**d), and soul.

People should like the whole package.

Personality is important, but so is attitude.

Maybe YOU feel your intellegence scares men off, and perhaps that comes out in your attitude b/c you're so worried about it, therefore, that intimdates them.

[loveregardless]

I don't worry that my intelligence intimidates men, I don't care whether I'm the "smarter" one or vice versa, but I have been told many a time that it is intimidating-- by men, including my boyfreind on MANY occasions.

I agree that it is the whole package that SHOULD matter, however that is not always how the story goes...

I'm never worried about how people perceive me, I'm just me... I spent my enitire childhood and teenage years loathing myself, I don't reserve any time for that nowadays....

I only made those statements because that is what I have observed and what I have gathered from what people have actually told me...

[katie79]

I had a horrible childhood. I look very different now, but as a kid, I was fat, antisocial, and gross.

I was made fun of all the time.

 

Ever see the movie "Carrie" 1979?

 

I was made fun of like she was (persistance-wise), maybe more at times.

 

I guess that's why I have so many social problems now-especially in the love dept.

Maybe if I thought more of myself, things would pan out.

[loveregardless]

Katie:

I am so sorry that you were treated like that, and I know that my story is very different from yours, but I hope that in some way it can help.

I had a lot of problems when I was younger because I was taller than all the boys, lanky, smart and "dorky" with this poofy hair that I had no idea what to do with and mismatched clothes that I had gotten from a thrift store. I was certainly never "cool" because all the cool kids wore designer clothes and all the "pretty" girls were like *this* big and compared to them I looked like a giant akward goof ball. I was always in "gifted" classes and I was also a good kid so yeah-needless to say my childhood and early teenage years sucked! And then as soon as i got to highschool it was a completely different story and I started getting lots of attention from all of these older guys, this was the same girl who had been called ugly for years so I was in both in shock and in heaven with all of the attention. I just didn't realize until it was too late that all of the new attention was because the older boys thought I was "hot" and looked like an "older chick" and wanted to sleep with me. So then I was sucked into this awful liason of permiscuity because I had no idea how to deal with the situation other than to let the boys have what they wanted because at least now I wasn't depressed and crying with no freinds and all these people liked me and I thought it was great(this was also around the time that I was diagnosed)...not until I realized that I had lost all respect for myself, all dignity and that I hated who I was did the reality of the situation set it, and then so did the depression and friendlesness all over again. So yeah, after I went through a long depression and came to know myself again, got off medication and really figured out who "I" was...well here I am. Thats my story...but I think the world of myself now. That's the most important thing you can do in life is learn to love yourself and to accept that "you" are "you", learn to love the good, learn to love the bad, it all makes up the whole remember...just be "you"- cus "you" is always a beautiful thing!

Anyway, looks verses personality...personality

[findinmyway]

If I had to choose between personality and looks, I GUESS I would say personality. But, man, I have a hard time if they aren't good lookin Maybe it's just that I have to be attracted to them ??? Yeah, that sounds better. Who's to say I'm not attracted to people who are really ugly to someone else.

 

Personality would win. But, I haveta have looks too