TommyGirl Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Here is an email from my ex-fiancee: The purpose of this email is to explain why I ask questions, like "do you miss me,do you still think about me, are you over me,why you act like you don't need a man or anything." So no strings attached or anything. I was with you for over two years and I must say that they were great even when we didn't see eye to eye, but the fact of the matter is that I know you and the person that you are and although this may sound stupid selfish and harsh, listen to what I am about to say. In my opinion, there is not another man in this world besides me that can ever treat you like you need to be treated, and since at this moment we are no longer together, then I feel like no other man should treat you good. By good, I mean do the stuff that he should do for you and make you feel like a woman should be treated. I know that sounds stupid, and it probably is, but that's how I feel. I ask you questions so tha I can see if you have found somebody else and if they are treating you right. I think I am one of the best men in the world and that;s what you deserve. SO I am sorry for our past conversations and even sending you this e-mail, but hopefully it can shed some light on where I be coming from and that it can make things easier on you. SO don't be mad or sad or anything, just listen to what I have to say. Please keep this between me and you. I am not stuck on myself or anything, just know me as a man and there are not that many good ones, so I really can't imagine you being with a bad one. Reply back and let me know if you understand and what you think. P.S. I know you are grown and can choose a good man, but I can't help thinking the way I do. Background: He broke up with me, five months ago, saying he wasn't sure if I was the one, started dating someone else a few months ago, but don't know if they are still together. Never begged him back, gave him his space like he said he wanted. I also never tell him about my personal life, just things that I want him to know, and I never ask him about his. Just need some more opinions of what you guys think. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Hmm...alrighty, well let me tell you what I think: I think he's doing all of the bullsh*t things that x boyfriends and girlfriends do to eachother. I will quote Faux again, "Exes do strange things, sometimes." Ok, that MAY not be exact. The last throws of love that exes have for eachother make them make bad decisions on what to say to the other person. Don't listen to him He's trying to string you along, whether he knows it or not. So, he's not the good guy he wants to be right now. Why is he trying to convince you he's such a good guy, anyway? I think I am one of the best men in the world and that;s what you deserve. If you want to move on, try the No Contact thing for a while. Cut him off. Don't worry about what he thinks or feels because it doesn't affect you any more. Sometimes, you have to let go of the love before you can be friends. This is not easy, and takes time. Good luck to you, dearie! Link to post Share on other sites
Author TommyGirl Posted August 3, 2004 Author Share Posted August 3, 2004 Thanks YellowLioness, any more opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
SMF Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Tommy girl- you have done a really good job. keep up the good work. see they all come running back. keep your dignity.... read my story - your opinion would be great. i am under coping- for "i am devastated" Link to post Share on other sites
kodiak Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Tommygirl- From what i have read i have come to many conclusions to what can be going on in your exes head. One, sure he could be messing with your head. He could be trying to boost his ego by asking those questions and getting the response that he wants to hear. Like yes i still miss you, etc... Sometimes they do stupid things like that and it sucks for the people who they dumped. But you know what Tommygirl, he could truly miss you and wants to be with you again. You said he dated someone else and maybe he knows that he made a ,istake and realized that he had something great with you. "Sometimes you dont know what you have untill its gone" This is very true and it happens all the time. Try not to read into it so much and just take each day as it comes. I would keep up the NC and see where it goes. If he feels that maybe you have moved on he might begin to really open up to you and show his true feelings, you know? Be happy that he is atleast thinking of you. My ex called last week and i havnt heard from her since. Its been hell, we have been broken up for a little under two months and i wish she would call me like your ex does. I think you replied to my thread "ex called need some advice" but if you gotten anymore advice i can use it. Its been a tough couple days. Link to post Share on other sites
SMF Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Tommy girl- looks like we have a case of someone wanting someone back. You know him best- does it sound right to you? Why would he say that his is the best man ever- if he didn't want you back. Right? when was the last time that you spoke to him? and how long were you engaged for? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TommyGirl Posted August 3, 2004 Author Share Posted August 3, 2004 Well SMF, I really don't know what to think, because when he was supposedly with her(or still is), he was telling me something somewhat similar to the email he sent me. He proposed to me on Dec. 23, left for a job in another state at the end of January this year, broke up the first week of March. See that's the thing I can't differentiate between, him just not wanting me to be in a bad relationship with anyone, or him actually wanting me back. Like I said he was saying something somewhat similar when he was with this girl, so I dunno SMF. I don't want to say anything relating to our relationship because I am trying to portray that I am strong and I am good to go without him. I never mention anything about his relationships or mine, just casual talk. The last time I talk to him before he sent the email yesterday, was last week, and before then, a month ago. I was hurt when I heard he was with a girl awhile ago, and in the back of my head, if I hear that their relationship is going good, it will probably sting a little, but not as much as it use to. I do still love him, because we did have a good relationship most of the time. I don't know if I am "in love" though, because of what went down. I'm really scared that if I think that he wants me back, and I say something, and he tells me that that was not he is meaning, my feelings will be a little hurt, I guess. I'm not dying to know either way, just going with the flow. What do you think about that SMF? Link to post Share on other sites
SMF Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Then stand your ground and stay strong. Remember he ruined this- he broke up with you. You have come so far and if you know in your heart of hearts that you are not "in love" with this person there is no need to get back together. You guys would be on the path of getting married and thank your lucky stars TommyGirl that this did not occur when you guys were married, or if you had moved. Unanswered prayers. Be strong. Let things play out. If he wants to be re-engaged or wants to spend the rest of his life with you- it will be very obvious- Him coming to you that is. Link to post Share on other sites
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