out of my league for a start

[markymark1]

Hi Guys and Girls, new to this forum hopefully you can give me some good answers for what im looking for,

 

basicly recently i have started talking to some old friends that i lost contact with and started to miss,

one being this girl called jo,

 

she is amazingly gorgeous but has the kindest heart and best personality of anyone i know,

thing is at the moment i live in london she lives just outside of manchester back in my parents town,

I really would like the chance to take her out on a date and actually get somewhere, we being talking via facebook lately and today i asked her if i had the correct number which she said yes and made sure it was correct and smiled when i said i might text her,

couple of weeks ago i told her i had a crush on her when we were younger but felt she was out of my league so never asked her out, she asked why and said who knows, so today i asked her about this guy she was seeing and she told me it didnt work out, so i told her i think she is gorgeous and deserves a really good guy, she replied with your a great guy and thanks,

 

not only is distance a problem (i am returning home soon for christmas where i can arrange a drink with either just her or some old mates and her)

 

but i think she is out of my league still, i also have little self confidence when it comes to girls like her,

 

i need some advice, from what i said does it sound good, and what do you think to asking her out for a date?

 

think it is wise or just to leave it alone,

 

thanks

mark

[River Rain]

Try to rid yourself of the "out of my league" business. It's self-defeating. It sounds like you both get along fine. I've been told the same type of thing that I'm beautiful and I deserve a good guy, and it really does make me feel good. Of course it'll make her feel good hearing that. But I think the only way to know if you both will click or not is to ask her to go out with you.

[markymark1]

thanks river rain, i know i need to get rid of this out of my league stuff but i had alot of knock backs and i worry if i try i might ruin things, i told her before and she didnt go all weird and still happy to talk, i guess i just need to text her in the next couple of days and see if i get chatting that way to

[River Rain]

thanks river rain, i know i need to get rid of this out of my league stuff but i had alot of knock backs and i worry if i try i might ruin things, i told her before and she didnt go all weird and still happy to talk, i guess i just need to text her in the next couple of days and see if i get chatting that way to

 

We'll always have those knock backs...but you can't bring the old baggage into new situations, it makes you so insecure when you do that. You can't predict what kind of man a woman will find attractive. Everyone's tastes are so different, that's why I say the "league" idea is such bull If you both have good conversation, seem compatible...then all that's missing is to see if there's a spark when you meet in person again. If there isn't, then you just have to pick yourself up and try again.

[Leigh 87]

A lot of gorgeous girls want a nice guy, and not the typical stero type of successfull and good looking...........

 

Seriously. Some beautiful girls really do just want a nice guy, without him being some "stud"

 

Your best bet here is to just be yourself! Be sweet, be yourself, and if you feel that she is opening up to you, suggest going on a date.

 

She sounds worth risking it for; risking the embarrassment of being rejected that is.

 

If she has a good heart, she will not be nasty about any potential rejection, and probably respect you for having the courage to ask her out, as less men approach the best looking women!

 

What do you have to lose? You could either score the girl of your dreams, or she will decline your offer.

[pcplod]

Nasty habit you have there, worse even than smoking. But I can sympathise.

 

What you are doing is preparing yourself for disappointment and rejection in advance, even if it were not to happen. It is your way of dealing with anxiety and stress and the actual physical symptoms associated with it. I get it.

 

Unfortunately, it is all a grand, convoluted exercise, in avoidance and self-denial in order to avoid getting yourself hurt and feeling a whole lot of hurt. Unfortunately, the ramifications of it is that you might as well lie down and die right now as far as your personal relations and putative sex life are concerned. It's nasty isn't it?

 

Failure IS part of life and the only way of avoiding it is to do nothing and decide nothing, to take no risks at all. This isn't actually a recipe for success.

 

That is what I did and being 50+ years old I am just a sad s**t wondering what, if anything I can do to rectify the situation in the setting sun of my life. Don't be me. It isn't a tragedy but it could be better, much better.

 

Your problem is that you are contemplating taking the emotional and psychological equivalent of a bungee jump having never done it before and what's worse you have never had lessons in it or any tutoring either. But here's the thing, neither has she and in terms of experience, she sounds as if she is only a hair's breadth ahead.

 

Take up her offer at Xmas, go have that drink. Smile, say "Hi, really nice to see you again after all these years". She isn't exactly giving you anything as strong as a come-on but she sounds very approachable and amenable and friendly. You know you can start this off but what is really killing you in advance, what you really fear is, "What happens, if it turns out to be something serious? What do I do THEN?" Well, it actually might not and then you might be off the hook, especially if you strive to make it turn out that way. Otherwise you could decide to see whether you actually can fly by the seat of your pants. Now, that will be more butterfly-inducing, bowel-voiding stuff than any bungee jump, but, hey, sooo much more worthwhile.

 

Go say hello to Miss Gorgeous and say hello to her from an old man, for me.