howtoask Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Ok, here's the deal. I plan on proposing to my girlfriend of 2 years. She is 23, I am 22, we are very much in love with each other, and there is no question in my mind that she will say yes. Here's where things get complicated. It is very important to her that I ask her father for his permission before I propose to her (she has told me this ever since things first started getting serious between us). Her parents live far away from my girlfriend and me (8 hour drive each way; flying not an option). Because of this, though her father knows me, I wouldn't exactly describe us as "close." It is also important to my girlfriend that the proposal be a surprise (in that, she doesn't know when it is coming). I don't know whether I should drive myself to her parent's house to see her father, or simply try to ask him over the phone. If I drive up to see him, there are a lot of logistical issues to consider. I would have to make the trip secretly, without my girlfriend knowing (and she usually knows everything I do every day), and I could also not let her mother know (because she can't keep a secret like that at all). If I told her father that I was coming, he would probably make it a point to be busy or out of town that day (because that's just the kind of guy he is). So I am left having to make an 8 hour gamble and then trying to avoid her mother (who works a lot, so that's not much of a problem), and anyone else who might know who I am (and they live in a very small town, so this is a big problem). I can get my girlfriend's sister involved (she's 20) in order to know when her father is home, but I am still left with the stealth issues, as well as having a potentially awkward conversation with someone I'm not too terribly close to (her father). The other option is to ask him over the telephone, but that just seems very impersonal and inappropriate considering the subject of the conversation. Even after asking him, I would need him to promise to keep it all a secret from everyone, even his own wife, until I could ask his daughter. Does anyone have any advice as to how I should proceed? Link to post Share on other sites
cinnamonstix49 Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Make the drive-definitely. Surprise her father if you know he would make a point to not be around... as for secrets--buy her a day spa pass to a spa that isnt exactly close to home so she'll have to drive a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
howtoask Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 I should have made it more clear before, but my girlfriend lives near where I do, not with her parents. Because of that, I see her or talk to her almost every day, which makes a clandestine 16 hour trip more difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
Artifact Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Is there any chance that you and your girlfriend will be visiting her parents anytime soon? Maybe if you made the drive together, got rid of your girlfriend and her mother somehow for an hour or two (girl's shopping trip?) and then talked to her father alone, you could combine the "asking" and the proposal into one weekend. When her father says "yes" (which he will...) then you can say you'd like to ask her that night/ the next day, whatever, and you want it to be as surprise for her mother as well. That way, he only has to keep the secret for one day from his wife, and your girlfriend can spend the rest of the weekend squealing with her mother. Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Did you ask her father's permission yet? We're all waiting! Link to post Share on other sites
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