High guy18 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 My ex broke up with me just over 2 months ago because we were going to be living in different cities at the end of the year and she couldn't handle being together with that in mind. I said I would still be her friend. She has since started dating another guy. Once I found this I began NC but she has said that she would like to see me before I leave to go home for good. She said she would be quite upset if I left without saying goodbye. I still definitely have feelings for her but don't really want to upset her or ruin any chances of us getting back together in future. However I do realize meeting up with her will probably take me back to square one and re surface a lot of feelings. Should I continue NC or try and be strong and see her? Link to post Share on other sites
theLWord Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 I would continue NC and also scrap the idea of getting back together. She's already with someone new.. Would you really want to meet up with her and hear about that? You are going to a new city, new opportunities, new women. Embrace now, not the past. Link to post Share on other sites
spaniard Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 My ex moved to another country, but no, I would never want to meet her again. Just imagine how painful it's going to be when you say two say goodbye to each other. Don't meet her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author High guy18 Posted November 8, 2012 Author Share Posted November 8, 2012 Yeah I think that would be best. It helps a lot hearing it from someone else, so thanks! I became quite good friends with some of her friends while we were together and I feel like some of the friendships go beyond the relationship I had with my ex. Is it wrong/bad to keep in contact with them? Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Yeah I think that would be best. It helps a lot hearing it from someone else, so thanks! I became quite good friends with some of her friends while we were together and I feel like some of the friendships go beyond the relationship I had with my ex. Is it wrong/bad to keep in contact with them? Lots of potential for drama by keeping in touch with the same friends. There's not as strong of a rule that NC needs to apply to everyone involved, mainly just the ex, but talking to those people can lead to hearing tidbits about your ex much longer than you need to. If you consider any of these people your dearest most amazing friends, you shouldn't have to lose them. If they're just casual friends you made through her, you can always find new ones. Link to post Share on other sites
Author High guy18 Posted November 9, 2012 Author Share Posted November 9, 2012 Yes very true, its good getting an outside perspective on things =). Guess who just text me? The night before my final exam grrrrrrrrrrrrr and 2 days before I leave... Just what I want to be thinking about before my exam, thanks a lot! Link to post Share on other sites
robaday Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Im going to go against the grain here and suggest you meet her. It will hurt but you obviously cared a lot about her, and she does about you. Theres ex's you hate, ex's you cant talk to because of too many emotions/damage, and then theres ones you truly loved. You dont want to regret not seeing her again - she was important to you and youll have a chance to say goodbye to someone you care about. I could be way wrong here. But with some breakups, its still possible to retain love and respect for the other person, even when your hurt or they cant be with you for whatever reason........ Probably get blasted for that post!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author High guy18 Posted November 9, 2012 Author Share Posted November 9, 2012 Im going to go against the grain here and suggest you meet her. It will hurt but you obviously cared a lot about her, and she does about you. Theres ex's you hate, ex's you cant talk to because of too many emotions/damage, and then theres ones you truly loved. You dont want to regret not seeing her again - she was important to you and youll have a chance to say goodbye to someone you care about. I could be way wrong here. But with some breakups, its still possible to retain love and respect for the other person, even when your hurt or they cant be with you for whatever reason........ Probably get blasted for that post!! I'm glad someone else has a heart haha. We definitely both still care for each other a lot and that's a fact. But think it would be very hard for me seeing her and could potentially end in an emotional mess. I have already come across quite needy in our break up and don't really want to push that any further... Agree with being able to retain some form of love and respect after a 3 year relationship. Would like to retain this to some degree if at all possible. However, not sure if meeting up and coming across needy or breaking down will help with this at all. But at the same time NC may give her the wrong picture?? I don't know... Is it possible to retain some forms of love and respect while maintaining NC? Interested peoples thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 My advice would be to do something inbetween that which the others have suggested. I say that you don't go and see her as that will be too emotionally painful.... however, being as you still care about her, do break NC, Send her a carefully thought out email stating that, due to your feelings for her and how much you care for her, meeting up to say goodbye would be too painful for you, but you feel that she deserves to get a 'goodbye' of somekind, hence the email. That way you don't come across as the jerk who disappeaered without saying goodbye, whilst at the same time you've saved yourself the greater emotional pain of meeting up to say goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 What will you guys actually do / say if you meet up? She is already dating someone new and is the one who wants to meet up...I wouldn't do it in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
QdB Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 What will you guys actually do / say if you meet up? She is already dating someone new and is the one who wants to meet up...I wouldn't do it in this case. Couldn't agree more. Dude you're guaranteed to be emotionally shook by this potential meeting...and not in a good way. That'll be a long flight for you pal Link to post Share on other sites
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