The nihilst chick Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 She is the closet thing i had to a mother. My real one hasnt been in my life since i was five and i am turning 15 soon. I am more comfortable talkin to her than my dad.but they hav been talkin bout divorce, arguments on money etc....and she is only staying cuz she has no money. Dad says after she finishes her colllege crap shell move back to chitown and he wil be bringin in another women lauren who he already introduce me to even though him and my stepmom r still married. My stepmom screams at him about him and his b%&&es he talks etc and sounds like a paranoid jealous woman but she has good reason to i think. He calls her the b word and stuff i hear em screeching, she had three abortions he always brings it up.. I JUST NEED SOME SANE PEOPLE CUZ THE TWO ADULT FIGURES IN MY LIFE ARE LIKE WARRING AGAINST EACH OTHER! Anything ppl havta say? Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 She is the closet thing i had to a mother. My real one hasnt been in my life since i was five and i am turning 15 soon. I am more comfortable talkin to her than my dad.but they hav been talkin bout divorce, arguments on money etc....and she is only staying cuz she has no money. Dad says after she finishes her colllege crap shell move back to chitown and he wil be bringin in another women lauren who he already introduce me to even though him and my stepmom r still married. My stepmom screams at him about him and his b%&&es he talks etc and sounds like a paranoid jealous woman but she has good reason to i think. He calls her the b word and stuff i hear em screeching, she had three abortions he always brings it up.. I JUST NEED SOME SANE PEOPLE CUZ THE TWO ADULT FIGURES IN MY LIFE ARE LIKE WARRING AGAINST EACH OTHER! Anything ppl havta say? I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. That's not cool at all what your Dad is doing. I just want to say that NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM HOW HE IS. IT IS HIS DECISION WHAT HE DOES WITH HIS LIFE. I am sorry his decisions are hurting you and your Stepmom. Please don't let bitterness, hatred, and anger get to you. Please forgive him and focus on being a wonderful young lady. You can make a difference in this world to help people by caring for others. So, focus on making the world a better place. I see in the religious section you have found a group that inspires you. I'd like to encourage you to get involved in helping those in need and in projects, like helping those who are bullied. I think if you focus your energies on helping others. as well as art, music, and other healthy hobbies that interest you, then that will help you with the turmoil and chaos going on around you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 (edited) OP, maybe ask your Psychiatrist if you can have a joint session with your Dad? Maybe you could have a joint session or two also just with your stepmum? What I would say matters most is that you can understand that this is about your Dad making choices which he thinks will benefit him and is not your fault. Your Stepmum seems pretty trapped but it is for her to free herself from this situation. You need to work on your own form of resilience. You seem like a bright lass, look up research on the subject of resilience. Basically some young people seem to be able to 'bounce back', even in the most awful situations and some don't and it all seems to rest on how the young person is able to foster their own brand of 'resilience'. Things to watch out for - . Be aware that sometimes you are going to be more emotional. See if you can have someone allocated to you in school so you can have a safe place in school to chill out and talk. This may save you from telling others what is going on. This person should be able to keep up with changes so you don't have to keep starting from the beginning when you are explaining how you are feeling/what's gone off at home. . Be careful of dodgy peers and becoming over reliant on them. Make sure that you are involved with age appropriate activities so you stay 15 years old and get to enjoy your life. Working with animals can be very soothing and can help to keep a person grounded. Don't know if you like animals but yeah, that is a suggestion for you. Oh, conservation is a cool topic to poor yourself into. There are some AMAZING groups out there. Such interests could bring you in line with people who can be a positive influence to you. . Understand that you may never know the answers. Sometimes we can do our own heads in because really, we simply cannot get the answers we crave. In total, your Dad may remain distant and self centred. A joint session with the Psychiatrist may bring to the surface why he is like this but it may not. Whatever happens please, please, please do not get all self righteous and become mouthy or start to harm your own chances in life and blame him. What I have seen happen is that a young person can end up (unintentionally) just like the person they are trying not to become like if they are not careful! At your age you will have a lot going on in terms of working out where you fit in this world. Keep talking and a wisdom will arise that can guard you and help you through this. Ultimately, don't hold onto grudges. Dislke behaviours and attitudes you see around you but don't let it settle in and make your heart hard. What you don't want is to develop any phobias or end up being one of those people who simply stop growing and reaching out because of problems experienced during the teenage transitional years. Hope this helps. Take care, Eve x Edited November 9, 2012 by Eve 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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