still feeling intense but getting treated like crap

[racer120]

In early September I met up with a girl in Saint Petersburg.

 

We had contact for about a year before, but no intense contact, certainly nothing in the sphere of love. A few on and off messages, sometimes months of silence. Her English isn't all that well. After announcing my visit to Saint Petersburg she suggested meeting up in the weekend, and that's what we did.

 

Surprisingly the language barrier wasn't much of an issue. We got on very well. She was a bit late for the date but that was okay from the moment she arrived and came running to me and hugging me. It was a pretty brilliant day with lots of laughter, fun and new experiences but I had to go at 6. We took one final picture of us together before saying goodbye in the metro with a big hug and kiss (albeit not on the mouth... I thought it would ruin what we had built during the day).

 

During our conversation we talked about many little stupid things, but she also said we should be in contact more, on skype and facebook... she asked me to text her when I arrived back home safely and talked about meeting again. I went home thinking she'd be all over me and that we would at least build a great friendship, if not more.

 

During the day I spent together with her, I felt friendship mostly. The love came afterwards. However, I did feel great for the first time since long.

 

When home however, she hardly showed any interest in me. When I tried to contact her, I was either being ignored, getting a short answer or getting an answer that doesn't invite to further discussion.

I may not have kissed her like that, but what the hell did I do wrong to get that treatment? I tried and tried again, but always the same reaction. The problem is that my feelings for her seem to increase.

 

The only thing that reminds me of my great day with her now is our beautiful picture together. But away from meeting her in real life, she seems to behave like a totally different and unfriendly person. I am very disappointed. She posts stuff on facebook and I still like most of her photos and show great interest, but I don't get any reaction to my photos for instance.

 

She's probably not all that interested. But if we really had a fun day together, why couldn't there be a bit more?

 

We met with a big smile on our faces and left with a big smile on our faces. But what came afterwards, at least for me, was pain and sorrow.

 

What would you do in my place? I still really really really like her... a lot.

[pteromom]

It sounds to me like she just doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her.

 

Maybe she was hoping for kissing and/or a hookup during your visit, so she assumed you weren't interested and lost interest.

 

Or maybe she only thought of you as a friend and is uncomfortable with your obvious feelings for her.

 

She's not at the same place you are, so no matter how strong your feelings are, you gotta just let her go. Either that or take the risk of being 100% honest about your feelings for her and see what she says.

[HeavenOrHell]

It sounds like it was only ever friendship, and you had months of silence as well, which doesn't sound like it was leading to a relationship at all.

Does she contact you at all since you met?

I'm sorry you are disappointed, but people never know how they will feel about someone until they actually meet them.

I would put it behind you and move on, stop contacting her.

 

In early September I met up with a girl in Saint Petersburg.

 

We had contact for about a year before, but no intense contact, certainly nothing in the sphere of love. A few on and off messages, sometimes months of silence. Her English isn't all that well. After announcing my visit to Saint Petersburg she suggested meeting up in the weekend, and that's what we did.

 

Surprisingly the language barrier wasn't much of an issue. We got on very well. She was a bit late for the date but that was okay from the moment she arrived and came running to me and hugging me. It was a pretty brilliant day with lots of laughter, fun and new experiences but I had to go at 6. We took one final picture of us together before saying goodbye in the metro with a big hug and kiss (albeit not on the mouth... I thought it would ruin what we had built during the day).

 

During our conversation we talked about many little stupid things, but she also said we should be in contact more, on skype and facebook... she asked me to text her when I arrived back home safely and talked about meeting again. I went home thinking she'd be all over me and that we would at least build a great friendship, if not more.

 

During the day I spent together with her, I felt friendship mostly. The love came afterwards. However, I did feel great for the first time since long.

 

When home however, she hardly showed any interest in me. When I tried to contact her, I was either being ignored, getting a short answer or getting an answer that doesn't invite to further discussion.

I may not have kissed her like that, but what the hell did I do wrong to get that treatment? I tried and tried again, but always the same reaction. The problem is that my feelings for her seem to increase.

 

The only thing that reminds me of my great day with her now is our beautiful picture together. But away from meeting her in real life, she seems to behave like a totally different and unfriendly person. I am very disappointed. She posts stuff on facebook and I still like most of her photos and show great interest, but I don't get any reaction to my photos for instance.

 

She's probably not all that interested. But if we really had a fun day together, why couldn't there be a bit more?

 

We met with a big smile on our faces and left with a big smile on our faces. But what came afterwards, at least for me, was pain and sorrow.

 

What would you do in my place? I still really really really like her... a lot.

[The dot]

What would you do in my place? I still really really really like her... a lot.

 

I would go and take a long, cold shower, and realise that most long-distance relationships ultimately end up becoming long-distance cheating. Think about it, how do you know who she's been with while you weren't there? She has needs and a hungry person who has no food in the house WILL go out to eat.

 

What you should do is cease all contact and concentrate on meeting someone you can actually see on a regular basis. If she comes back to you after then, fine (but she probably won't), but keep seeing other people anyway until you or she is ready to move permanently.