KissMyTiara Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 I want to start off by saying that reading through some of the posts on LS has given me a lot of insight into my own situation, my feelings, the likely consequences, etc., and has enlightened me to the fact that I am not alone in this situation, that I share many sister-OWs, and that every situation is unique and tailored to the individual participants. I am greatful for this outlet. That said, on to the drama. I am 26 and currently seeing/dating/sleeping with a 34 MM who has been married for 11 years and has 3 young children. Initially, I didn't know he was married. In those beginning "courting" stages, he clearly hid the fact that he was married, though I guess I wasn't smart enough to come out and just ask. Anyways, I don't know what came over me, but even after I found out, I still wanted him, just as much as I did when I thought he was single and I had all these little fantasies in my head, including the white picket fence and kids, allathat. We now continue to have amazing sex (quite possibly the best I have ever had, he is an incredibly attentive lover), speak to each other daily about all the little nuances of daily life (sometimes for hours), and recently we have gone from seeing each other about once a week to 3 times a week, and he's making more time and clearly putting more of an effort into seeing me. Ok, so I'm trying to make a list, kinda. The pros/cons, liklies/unliklies, that sorta thing. I have read on here and other places that the MM never leaves the W, that even if he does, the relationship between the OW and the MM is doomed, etc. However, my own personal experience (friends, coworkers, family members) dictates otherwise. I am literally on the fence here - 1/2 on the "this will never last, enjoy it while it lasts" side, and the other 1/2 of me is on the "this has real potential" side. Can y'all give me some input, for both sides of the list. No bashers please, this is hard enough as it is. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyBoo Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 There are times in our lives when we all delude ourselves because what presents to us in life seems real even when we know it is'nt. We mix a dash of reality with a truck load of fantasy and the resulting dish is 'happily ever after'. Or is it? You know you are gambling on a clear outsider. Yes you may get him in the end................but I imagine you will be in for a long and painful journey. If he does leave his wife would you really want a man who could betray his wife and family? Honesty, integrity, responsibility, accountability and loyalty are only some of the mix that goes into the successful 'dish' of any relationship. How much of any of these ingredients are in yours? It's hard when we are emotionally connected with someone to see clearly but combine that with sex and you have a recipe for pure pleasure...... for a while. But then reality does dawn and like any moving creature in this world you will start to wonder what direction are you moving in? What direction is your relationship going? Does it have one? Or is it a 'for now' relationship only? I have no advice to give you but I hope I have tweeked your brain into gear a little. Your body and heart are clearly functioning but your brain needs to get in there and start taking control. Good luck and I wish you well. Link to post Share on other sites
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