boyfriend cheated and got the girl pregnant!!!!! What should I do????

[nicole.leeper]

hello everyone!

This is my first time doing something like this. So here it goes. My name is nicole. I am a 27 year old single woman who is absolutely in love with a man who is divorced with 2 children and one more on the way with another woman. I was deployed when he admitted cheating on me, but now there is a child involved. He ended up getting this girl pregnant. Immediately when I recieved his news, I did not talk to him for a while.

A few months down the road we started talking again. He was leaving for Iraq and he wanted to see me before he left. I did go and see because I still have feelings for him despite what he has done to me. Well, he had a ring and he proposed marriage. I accepted because I really do want to marry this person, but now that I see him for what he really is, I don't know if he is remorseful or just trying to use this ring as a leash to keep me from getting myself involved with anyone else. At least that is what he told me. He told me he is afraid of loosing me. What is the advice that anyone has for me at this time? Is this worth working on?

[overseas2004]

Well Nicole that is indeed a yukky situation. You may want to consider forgiving him but I think you need to ask yourself some tough questions first.

 

Why did he cheat? Is he that kind of person or was it one time occurence? Will he do it again? If he does can you live with it? Will he grow from this experience? Or once you have forgiven him he will go back to business as usual?

 

I don't think you should just marry him. I think you should do some serious soul searching about him. I hope you know yourself really well and your limitations, otherwise you may be headed for divorce. And think about children of your own as well who may be deprived by all teh child support this man may end up having to pay in his life.

 

Seems to me he also needs to learn the concept called CONDOM....

 

Regards

 

overseas

[Artifact]

I guess you should be glad you are not already married to him and trying to figure this out! I agree with overseas2004- really, really, really think about this one. Of course, we know neither one of you, but on the surface it looks pretty sticky. Not only will you have three children immediately after you get married, (and the child support), but your husband will have a life long connection with two other women who mothered his children. Are you prepared for that?

Good luck, nicole!

 

-artifact

 

Don't just rush into it for love... a good marriage has to have a lot of other things too!

[EC]

"These are my confessions, just when I thought I said all I can say mY girl on the side said she got one on the way.."

 

Sorry a song from USHER that was popular here. It fit this category.

 

But I agree with the other posts. You can't live life of love alone theres other factors.

 

Child support, weekly visits, facing the woman that he cheated on you with and the other baby momma for the rest of your life.

 

You need to sit down and ask your self is this man worth it?.............

[nicole.leeper]

thank you all for the speedy responses. i really can't stop thinking about this and about him. i just wish he proposed before all this crap. now, i don't think i can deal with his drama. i already was kinda hesitant about being in a relationship with a man with 2 children, but i got over it. Now he has added a third. Besides, I forgave him

But in the meantime, just yesterday called me names! Such as whore and slutt. I have not done anything to warrant these names. I have never betrayed his trust. I don't know what the hell is going on with him, but I am not going to put up with this anymore. Esspecially if this is how he shows remorse for what he has done. I don't know what's up, but it looks like he is confusing my kindness for weakness. Do any of you think anyone is worth this much heartache? First cheat on you, propose to you , and then rip your self-esteem to shreads! Is this okay?

[Curt]

Originally posted by nicole.leeper

Do any of you think anyone is worth this much heartache? First cheat on you, propose to you , and then rip your self-esteem to shreads! Is this okay?

 

No. He's treating you with a great deal of disrespect and showing great lapses in judgement.

 

My humble advice is to leave.

 

Curt

[Lisa85]

A baby is a quick fix.

[nicole.leeper]

what do you mean?

 

"A baby is a quick fix"