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HELP I am so confused!! My boyfriend has another girl on the side.


TRICIA SUNAE

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TRICIA SUNAE

Hello everyone well here goes my situation is a crazy one...I been with my boyfriend for a year and almost two months now and we've been through it all I mean basically hell and back again. The first few times we saw each other he would tell me he wanted a serious relationship and like the third time he pretty much told me he thought I was the one for him. I told him in the very beginning I wasn't looking for a serious relationship but I felt like he was wanting a lot more to include marriage. As the time went on I made some mistakes I completely regret. I cheated on him quite a few times first time was in Oct of last year and then in Jan and also feb.....and I came clean to him after it happened. I feel so bad now; however, he still can't get over what I did. I then find out in Dec of last year he admitted to me he cheated on me in Guam with some prostitute I was so pissed off you just don't know. I mean why out of all the women why a prostitute I couldn't understand it. Then I really wanted to change and I completely have been faithful to him for over 6 months now and then I find out he met some girl in Australia in April of this year and back in May I found out she's been emailing him I told him to send her an email to leave him alone and he did it but I found out he is still talking to her. I find emails in his yahoo account saying he loves her and he wants to move to Australia. I confront him about this and he said he is just fooling around with her and he's not serious about it. He told me he is just trying to get revenge for what I did to him. He also told me he loves me more than her. He said he still wants to work things out with me but we got into a huge ass argument one day and I didn't want to talk to him at all and I changed my phone number. I called him all the names in the book you can think of but a week later I started to really miss him and I gave him my new number. He then says ok maybe we should just be friends for now and heal from all the bs we put each other through. He still talks to this girl though but he did tell me when he gets back he would still call her to tell her it's over. What should I do? I mean I am so in love with this guy now and I don't want to lose him. I really feel so awful for the pain I caused him.

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shame on both of you for cheating! I'm glad you've been faithful for 6 months, thats good that you changed............I sa dump him. he is lying. dump him no matter how much you love him, he obviosly doesnt love you back, you are wasting your time and you will never trust him. dump him. dump him. I know its hard but please............dump him dont let him string you along like he is doing!

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TRICIA SUNAE

So you think I should dump him? It's weird cuz when he knows I am mad at him and don't want to talk to him anymore he will email me and call me like crazy I mean non-stop from morning to night apologizing. But when he knows things are good he will only call me like once a day. Right now he is deployed so it will be hella late before I hear from him since he works like at 1000 at night to 1000 am. I don't know I am hella confused right now because I love this guy soo much ya know.

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LikkleMissConfused

How can you both love eachother so much when the most important point of your relationship (the beggining) was a complete mess. You both have cheated and simply aren't that into eachother if you were you wouldn't need attention from other men and as for him getting back at you for what you did ages ago its childish.

 

To me it sounds as though your just comfortable and used to eachother and maybe scared to be truly single. I don't know but whats the point in being together when your both messing around.

 

Neither of you are serious they is no point in making a chnage when you are in the relationship. Decide what you want and go for it nothing less or more if you can compromise thats great but if you can't then let it go. This one lovely I think have been damaged beyond repair and tell me something is it worth all the games and heart ache.

 

Don't dump him talk to him decide to be alone whatever and maybe if your feelings are still the same you will be together otherwise forget it.

 

Thats my advise to you.

 

Over to you...............

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I think you are both too immature to be in a serious relationship.

 

You are not in love with eachother. I don't even think you guys know what true love is.

 

If you loved him the first time you cheated you would've felt so guilty that you would've never done it again and not only did you do it once u did it like three times! c'mon!

 

You both played eachother and are taking your relationship as one big joke.

 

I say either stay together and deal with all the drama that you both seem to like or you both dump eachother and find stay alone for a while untill you can both find people that you can be serious about and be in a serious relationship with.

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TRICIA SUNAE

Thank you for all the responses I appreciate it. Well it is true I took him for granted in the beginning of our relationship I wasn't really ready for what he wanted. And he was really pressuring me about getting married and I didn't think he was the one. But when I found out he cheated on me in December this was after he found out I cheated on him I completely changed. I guess it really devistated me because I never been hurt before so I really shaped up after that. I guess I didn't know how it felt to be cheated on and of course I was at fault myself big time. I will admit it. Now I am wondering if we even have any hope left? Did he really care a lot about me if he is still talking to this other girl now? He did say he was trying to get revenge but I don't understand if you really love someone two wrongs don't make a right u know what I mean. I am just a big mess right now. I would do anything now to fix this.

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You guys just have too much going on right now.

 

You need abreak for a while of NC so that your minds can clear up and you can figure out your feelings.

 

After a while of NC I think you guys can see eachother again and take it from there.

 

But I think if you keep trying now its just going to keep getting worse and worse. To the point of not being able to get fixed.

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TRICIA SUNAE

Thank you for the advice. I guess your right we do need some space definately some space and time. When I lay down at night I start thinking about this other girl and it just drives me insane u know I guess I will just get paranoid about it and wonder does he really love her? Does he even care about me? Or why doesn't he just let her go and why is he with me and her. I don't know maybe he has a fear of being alone I guess that could be it. It just kills me that I am at home I don't even go out on weekends while he is deployed I just go to work or come home and go to sleep. I know I could be acting crazy by going out, partying a lot but I am at home waiting for his emails and phone calls. I feel like a fool sometimes like he knows he got me or something u know....

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Been there girl..

 

And I didn't go out either. I did one night. Got drunk , went dancing and after all that I felt even emptier inside.

 

And he would always call at 8:30 when we were together so I would stay home and I would stop breathing when 8:30 would come.

 

I was so confused and he was out and about.

 

But you know what after all that I realized he didn't love me and while I was home wasting my tears thinking about him...he was out partying, talking to girls, not even feeling close to what I was feeling.

 

Don't waste your time. He probably is playing with that other girl too. I say leave him, hurt for a while, learn a lesson and move on. And your Mr. Perfect will come and you'll know because you won't want to cheat on him lol!

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TRICIA SUNAE

It's all good who knows maybe we'll just stay friends. I am getting out of the military in a few months anyways to go back to cali so I really shouldn't worry about it too much. I am just lonely as hell right now and just need a companion. Japan is not all that great like I thought it would be. I guess that's why I stayed with him so long. I did grow some really strong feelings for him as the time passed but I never found anyone to replace him so maybe that's what it is. Who knows. This was definately a life changing experience for me though cuz I know from now on I will be very faithful definately to the next guy I meet in the future...

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You need some serious professional help here! You so in love with a cheater? What is thematter with you? Have some self love and self respect here! I may be harsh here however it makes me sick to read something so pathetic.

 

Get some help and move on!

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TRICIA SUNAE

For your information you do not know the whole story so don't come at me about needing some help because I don't need any help. Second of all we been dating for over a year now and I grew strong feelings for him so how can I just dump him just like that. Obviously it shows you never had a serious relationship so you know nothing about what this is all about so don't even go there do you understand me? If you have nothing nice to say to someone don't say it at all didn't your mom teach you that? And don't reply to my emails anymore I have no interest in speaking to you again.

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