Don't get to see boyfriend for 3 weeks maybe longer.... ANY advice welcome

[bellejolie]

My boyfriend and I are very close. I love him more than anything in the entire world. And after being together for over a year, and seeing each other close to everyday I now only get to see him once a week at the most due to our hectic schedules. Now he is going on vacation with his friends for 2 weeks and I wont get to see him until the week after he gets back (I leave on business the day before he comes back) I really miss him already and I would appreciate any advice on how to deal with this lack of my closest friend!

[overseas2004]

Ok I get the vacation thing and not seeing each other for three weeks. But what is up with the rest of the time. Is it really your hectic schedules or is he not making enough time for you? Ask yourself that and try to get an honest answer about what your gut is telling you. I venture to guess that he is not making enough time for you. But I may be wrong.

 

If he is to blame for you two not seeing each other then there are two approaches you can take

 

1 Discuss it with him. PROVIDED that he is mature male and he will listen. This is usually not the case and men just tend to pull away when you do this even more.

 

2. Stop making yourself available to him on that one day a week that he does want to see you. OF COURSE, this is very difficult. And you should not even attempt it UNLESS you are a strong willed person and have the power to deny yourself the desire to see him when he throws you your weekly scraps. You must tell him you are busy have other plans and will see if you can see him some other time. You must continue with this cycle of not seeing him and then YOU SEEING HIM even less than he wants too. Lets say you agree every two weeks. Then if he does not get the picture then every three weeks. What ends up happening is that he starts chasing you and you turn the tables on the relationship and now you have the control. Then you can discuss matters with him and make resolutions about how to act.

 

BUT don't do the second option have a**ed. Either do it right or dont do it at all

 

By the way option 2 is the much preffered option in my book. You just have to have nerves of steel to do it. And yes it has always worked for me PROVIDED the person you do it to loves you.

 

Regards

 

Overseas

[Kristina]

I thought I would read your thread thinking that we had something in common, until I realized you were the same person that posted to my thread. Now both your stories sound completely different...so which one is the right one? Maybe if your going to make up stories you should try to space them out instead of posting 2 in a row!

 

 

I also have a long distance relationship with a man who i've known for several years. We've been together for 3 of those years and are very happy. However unlike you two, we only see each other once or twice a year. Our schedules are so different that it's impossible for us to make plans to visit each other. We c onstantly send pictures, letters. We talk on the phone at LEAST once a day and use video chat online. Of course it's nothing like being with him, but sometimes you have to settle for less.

Good Luck!

 

 

Do these stories sound different to anyone else???

[kizmet74]

Bellejolie,

If you truly are close with your BF things will be fine. Just go out with friends in your spare time. Do things you enjoy. Call him while you're apart, but don't bug him. Remember, he's on vacation to get away and enjoy himself.

 

 

You know Kristina, you're right. She's actually got three different posts that are all different.

 

My boyfriend told me he doesnt love me anymore but he wants to stay together

"My boyfriend and I have been together for 13 months and when things started to get weird between us I asked him what was up. He insisted nothing was wrong so I asked if he still loved me. His response? "Well now that you mention it... I'd have to say I dont"! He told me he didnt want to break up because he wants to try to fix things, he wants to love me agian. But I feel so alone knowing that he doesnt feel the same way about me as he used to or as I feel about him. Please offer ANY advice!"

"Thats the thing... he's been telling me he loves me since month 4! and even now he confirms that he did love me. He just said that he started to feel like he was "using me" what does that mean? And nothing's changed at all. We're both the same, we still spend time together almost every day. and every change that has taken place we've talked about and made sure that we're both okay with."

Reassurance that everything will be OK.

"I also have a long distance relationship with a man who i've known for several years. We've been together for 3 of those years and are very happy. However unlike you two, we only see each other once or twice a year. Our schedules are so different that it's impossible for us to make plans to visit each other. We c onstantly send pictures, letters. We talk on the phone at LEAST once a day and use video chat online. Of course it's nothing like being with him, but sometimes you have to settle for less.

Good Luck!"

And now this one.

 

I've noticed a few people around here doing this same thing; posting different stories. What's the deal??

[treegirl]

You'll be fine.... strong relationships survive anything.... I've been in a LDR for almost 2 years now... you'll be fine.

 

Love TreeGirl

xoxo

[treeman]

Gee i wish i got to see treegirl once a week and on the off occasion in three weeks at the most. How good would that be! I'm in an LDR as well and it isn't easy but you gotta make the most of those times together.

-Ben

[treegirl]

Treeman is exactly right.... those times you do get to spend together while in a LDR are so very special! Me and Treeman try and make sure we have at least one night where we can just snuggle together......

 

You need to stay positive and remember your boyfriend loves you very much - these 3 weeks will fly by.

 

Love TreeGirl

xoxo