Mike Posted November 9, 2000 Share Posted November 9, 2000 Hello everyone, This is my first time reading the board and I realize this is as good a place to get advice as any. Here's what's up...i'm 20 years old and I'm in love for the first time...our relationship is only about 4 months old, but I love her so much. I would never want to hurt this girl. For like the last 2 weeks I have felt as though things have changed between us. I can't really pinpoint what it is. I've talked to people about it and the thing I've heard the most is that we're both used to each other now. We're both totally comfortable with each other and so we act differently towards each other. The problem is, I like the way things were. Lately, it seems as though she doesn't love me as much as I love her. Some of the cute stuff we used to do together is no longer there. I'm not sure if I'm really having fun anymore. We went to a party on Friday and both had a great time hanging out together, it felt like "old times". Well, me being the honest guy I am, about a week ago told her something was wrong. I told her that I feel we take each other for granted. She was upset that I thought something was wrong, when she thought everything was great. I really don't know what is wrong...could it be that she's just not right for me?? I don't know if anyone will even understand, cause i'm not sure I do. But, any imput or advice would be welcomed. Thanks in advance, Mike Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 9, 2000 Share Posted November 9, 2000 People always get excited in the beginning of a relationship. The fireworks don't last forever, although in most cases of real love they go on a bit longer than yours. But it's very normal for two people to settle into a more realistic and lasting love pattern. Don't ever expect those big blasts of heart pitter pattering hormones to secrete for someone forever. It just doesn't work that way. But you are young and you may just not be ready to settle into a normal relationship. Young people often move on to more stimulating relationships when others get a bit boring. Some call that emotional immaturity...but don't be ashamed of that...we all go through that. You are as normal as they come. So you have to make a decision here. Do you care enough about this lady to be with her longer? Do you want to be with her forever? Do you want that chemical stimulation that comes with the initial months with a new person? Are you wanting to play around or do you want a secure relationship? Answer some questions for yourself and then make your decision. But it sounds like the girl you're seeing now is pretty cool...and a bit ahead of you in some ways. Please let her down easy if you break up. It sounds like she really cares about you...and that is HARD to find. Link to post Share on other sites
Fay Posted November 9, 2000 Share Posted November 9, 2000 Mike In most all relationships you first start in the honeymoon stage, this is all great and loving and wonderful but then after a while you are brought down to earth taken of cloud nine and begin to realise what a relationship is all about. This doesn't mean that the was that you acted before cannot continue but you have t know that not all people can be loving and affectionate all the time, coming from someone who has been in the same situation you have to ask yurself "what do you really want for your relationship in the future", and if it turns out that your g.f is unable to give you that then it's your choice you change or you leave. Either way good luck in the future and I hope everything works out. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike Posted November 9, 2000 Share Posted November 9, 2000 So you have to make a decision here. Do you care enough about this lady to be with her longer? Do you want to be with her forever? Do you want that chemical stimulation that comes with the initial months with a new person? Are you wanting to play around or do you want a secure relationship? Answer some questions for yourself and then make your decision. But it sounds like the girl you're seeing now is pretty cool...and a bit ahead of you in some ways. Please let her down easy if you break up. It sounds like she really cares about you...and that is HARD to find. ---You are right on the money. She is ahead of me in some ways. She is much more experienced than me in relationships. I don't want to let her go. I am, howeve, afraid of one day wondering what else is out there and breaking up with her just to see. During that time, I lose her and realize that she was the one I wanted all along. Maybe I need to grow up relationship wise on my own instead of through experience. Thanks for your imput..if you have any more words of wisdom, please don't hesitate to send them my way. Thanks alot. Link to post Share on other sites
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