MelisssaZZZ Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 i met this guy P in my sisters house warming party end of sept. He expressed interest and we started meeting up. usually meeting up once a week. Started sleeping together in 3rd date. when we are meeting, we usually at some point meet his friends.. sometimes also with my friends. I know some of his friends already. usually the meetings as relatively late over weekends - to go out for drinks/ club etc. And, i sometimes go back to his (always leave in the middle of the night, by my choice, as i have a small child at home - he wants me to stay overnight..). he is also busy with building his house and will start new job on monday. so, i was assuming we are very casual - like very much a beginning. The confusion started last weekend, when he told me he loved me. appologised for not being much in touch during the week. and started talking of how to make the relationship work.. then we meet yesterday and its all fine - mee his friend later in the night. some of them refer to me as his gf, some as a friend.. (this time there were mostly people i did not know). and later last night he proceeds to tell me.. that he really really likes me and therefore we should take things slow.. ?? Also, he tells me that he does not want to hurt anyone at this point in time. And then he proceeds to tell me tha he kind of can commit and cannot commit.. I say i dont understand - that this does not make sense. we dont really go in further details. then he keeps sayings stuff like, if you would be my wife etc. So, at this point I am extremely confused.. and was wondering for explanation - what does this mean?? is he playing me? and if yes - what for?? (also for clarity wanted to add our ages - i am 36 and he is turning 40 next month Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 My ex told me "I don't want to hurt anyone right now"...I found out eventually that he meant he didn't want his ex-wife to know about me because he still hadn't got over her yet. He also said "I want to take things slow" because he had trust issues, again I found out later. The only real way to know what he wants is to ask him what he wants directly. And then based on his reply, you have to decide if that's what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Sounds like he's trying to play with your emotions, trying to get your hopes up and interest as he probably doesn't feel you are into him enough and it's hurting his ego. Stop the crap, have a grownup conversation like grownups should do and get straight and clear answers from them and don't stop pressing until you do, then once you get the answer then you make a decision from there. But to be honest with you if he wasn't playing games he wouldn't have done this song and dance, now he's trying to add some drama to the game and wants to start pushing you away. You'll know the answer once you start talking to him and asking for very specific, no watered down or unclear answers...if you settle for this I don't know crap, you should know better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelisssaZZZ Posted November 9, 2012 Author Share Posted November 9, 2012 Well, I know for sure he is not married. He is single and has been for almost 2 years. He might have trust issues as his last gf cheated on him. Either way this does not explain his.... Mixed messages. Have to say I am too old for these kind of games. Should probably Stop playing.. Link to post Share on other sites
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