slow guy!!!

[maya]

hello every one!!

 

i don't know whether any guys out here can shed some light on a particular matter. the thing is i have been seeing this guy now for about a month. we have been out on several dates and we get on really well. we talk all the time and we connect well. he is even very attractive. some of my girl friends consider me very lucky to have a guy like him in my life.

 

now the problem is that despite us going out so often (we have on three ocasions gone back to his place and ended up talking till dawn) he has not attempted to make a move on me till now. now i respected that till a while back but now i'm just beginning to wonder what the problem with this guy is? he is sweet, caring, intelligent, understanding, attractive. actually after reading what i've written above i'm beginning to think he might be gay.

 

why would a guy not make a move for so long. i'm not unattractive if i may add that!!

[neo]

maybe the guy is shy. i would suggest maybe you can initiate whatever you would like him to do. if he still doesn't respond then maybe he IS gay. as a last resort maybe you can ask him!!??

[Tony T]

You know, I'm really glad you made this post.

 

Many women, expecially attractive ones like you, complain often that men only want to use them, only want them for sex. Those same women crave a guy who takes it slow, likes them for who they are, doesn't put the physical thing in the forefront, makes them feel respected, waits for the right time for sex in a special romantic way, etc.

 

Your post is really unclear. First you say you have been seeing him for a month and the two of you "have been out on several dates." Then later you say you have stayed very late at his place three times.

 

Well, I don't know what you constitute as a date and what you define as just being together as a couple...but, for the purpose of this conversation, let's just say the two of you are together three or four times a week.

 

I am a guy who has ALWAYS been fully charged with testosterone and has been ready and willing to have sex almost any day, anytime and anywhere. There's not a gay bone in my body. But growing up, I used to witness the terrible emotional stuff my sister went through with guys pressing her for sex almost immediately (she would cry about it)...and also, guys who would haunt her for months after she told them to hit the road.

 

I swore I would NEVER be a guy like that. I vowed I would NEVER put a lady through what my sister was going through. I would never want a girl talking to her girlfriends about how I tried to jump her bones soon after we started dating...or how I just kept after her when she made it clear it was over. And I always stuck to that.

 

Sometimes I would go out with a girl two or three months before sex entered the picture. And when it happened, it was special. Sometimes, it happened right away. And, you know, when it did happen soon after we started dating, the whole thing just didn't seem so special anymore. I'm thinking, if this girl humps every guy a day or a few weeks after she starts dating him, yuk, that's mostly what she's looking for. That doesn't make me very special. Well, there were times I just stuck around for the ride because the sex was so good. It was SO GOOD that when I went out with the girl, that's really all that was on my testosterone filled brain. Whatever we did, all I really wanted to do was get back to my place and do it.

 

The girls that didn't come on so quickly...those relationships were so much more fulfilling, they lasted so much longer, they were really nice, and the friendships and bonds that formed last until today.

 

I understand people's need for sex. I just wish women would make a decision, all together...maybe during the next election...do you want sex right away or do you want to cultivate a relationship, let a guy get to know your heart before you hump? Get it straight for us because guys like me just don't understand.

 

If you are wanting to go to bed with this kind gentleman and run the risk of "screwing" up what might be the greatest, most consideration and respect-filled relationship you have ever had, seduce the hell out of him. Hey, you are a woman. He will respond if you put one of his hands between your legs and the other on your breasts. He will understand what you want and you will get your wish.

 

But when he doesn't call you later, don't bitch or complain or post a cry baby message here. You have got a true gentleman, a rare breed, in your midst and you are complaining. He actually shows respect for you. What a deal!!!

 

If you are really needy of getting laid, find a booty buddy, that's a guy who will take care of your sexual needs...a human vibrator...and make it mutually clear he's ONLY for that purpose. That way you will be totally free to pursue this guy who is genuinely interested in you as a human being and not as a sexual object.

 

If he was gay, you would be able to tell in so many other ways...his talk, mannerisms, etc. Ask him what his feelings are about homosexuality. That will give him the opportunity of telling you if he's gay. But there's a big difference between being gay and being a man who is kind, considerate, thoughtful, respectful, decent and wanting a nice relationship with a girl he doesn't want to think he's only interested in her for sex.

 

Maybe many girls have treated HIM as a sexual object and he knows what that's all about. Yes, guys have feelings too. I guess in the scheme of things, it's a lot more fun for a guy to be used for sex than for money...but, still, it's a pretty empty feeling. You post was brief but I really hope you are as much into getting to know this guy away from his penis as he is into getting to know you.

 

Now, if he calls tonight early, tell him you are busy but you are so happy he called. But go out and get laid by some scumbag who will gladly accomodate you at the snap of your fingers and forget you tomorrow. They are bountiful at every club anywhere in the United States. What a deal!!!

[sparkle]

Wow!

 

Hold onto this guy! He sounds great

 

What do you mean when you say he hasn't made a move on you.. are you referring to sex or just hugging/kissing? just curious.

[heidi]

You found a rare prince Dearie.

 

Either hold on to him and be patient... or let

 

him go for someone who can appreciate his respect for women!