Author numberone Posted November 10, 2012 Author Share Posted November 10, 2012 That's exactly what NC is for. I hope she's able to take a step back, stop stalking your on FB and figure out what she really wants, without all the desperation. Good luck. thank you River Rain. I have done the best I can, and I have pretty much moved on, and I still care for my ex, but I realize now only she can help herself. She deleted me off her fb, to help her "not torture herself from to see my wall" and I told her do what she has to but we'll see where this takes us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 That's just your opinion ^^ based on your experience. He's going to do what he wants, and shouldn't be judged for it. We all end up doing what we think it right for us, and if we make a mistake, then we learn from it. It's not pathetic, it's just human nature to want to be loved by the person we also love. Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 No it's not. He communicated to her that she wouldn't want to talk / be with him unless she was making a mistake. I didn't judge. Just told him to not come across or think of himself as a mistake. Also, if he does not want advice, do not post his situation on the internet asking for it. Sure but you also have the opportunity to learn from other people's mistakes and not make them yourself. You can want to be loved and not be pathetic, needy, desperate and communicate that you are a mistake. Point is, he's not pathetic (def: arousing pity). You judged him so. I don't automatically judge a person pathetic because they want a second chance with someone they love, whether or not said person is being insecure, dramatic or hurtful. The heart wants what it wants. If you see that as pathetic so be it. I guess you find it useful in pointing that out to someone who is in pain and is confused. I guess I go the route of compassion. Sorry numberone, to derail. I support you whether or not you made the right decision or not. Link to post Share on other sites
The dot Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Hello loveshack, I am very confused as what to do.My ex and I broke up in August have started to make contact again. She saw a picture of me and another girl and supposedly "it made her sick to her stomach" and want me back and miss me more. Honestly it was probably because the girl was pretty, and she knew that. Anyways, after I let her back in (so easily like an idiot) my ex told me she wanted to take it slow. Taking it slow then went down to no contact for a day, she wished me good luck on a test and that was about it. After two full days of no contact she had the nerve to text me at 3:30 in the morning, asking " where are you right now ?" What does this mean? Is she still trying to keep in touch with me or is she actually going to try and put in the effort this time? Should I wait for her to reply one more time? Or should I reply? I really need help with this one because I let her back in my life so easily, and this time i want to make sure she is willing to come back, and put in the effort. But if i make her wait too long I am afraid she will run away. please help me!!!! An ex is an ex for a reason. you should simply delete the text and block the number. If she continues contacting you, call the police and get a restraining order. NEVER go back to an ex. That's like retrieving an empty bottle from the recycle bin. Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 I don't care what you think. He asked for advice, I gave him some and I think he made a nice recovery. Oh... you are one of those. You don't use your head along with your heart. You think everything you feel and your emotions and feelings are honest and true. Your feelings and emotions can mislead, lie and betray you so you should not blindly follow every feeling and emotion you have. You are a girl so you do not understand. I talked to him Man to Man and he read me loud and clear. He didn't think he was any less of a man or feel attacked. I go with assistance, help, wisdom, knowledge, facts, truth, tough love, etc. and he doesn't need / want my compassion. I wants to do what the right thing is and present himself in the best "light". I think he did a great job of recovering and told her like it is. You don't care what I think, yet you pick apart my sentences and answer them one by one. I'm flattered. Nighty night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author numberone Posted November 11, 2012 Author Share Posted November 11, 2012 Thank you River Rain for all your feedback:D, and of course there are people who follow their wit and there are people who follow their hearts, like you and I. There are a bunch of people who think just shutting the door is the manly thing to do, but I think it takes more to see the situation out. I used to love her. If she is hurt, because I believe to be a just person, I'm going to hear her out. Maybe I won't believe it all until she shows definite signs, but I will be conscious of how she feels. She is HUMAN not just a girl. You guys keep thinking that way, you won't ever be able to pick out a good girl from the crowd. We all make mistakes. Now I may be stupid for this, but its ultimately my choice. I know there is more to this situation than just giving up, and that is not being pathetic. And its not about the odds, for me it is about believing. Maybe from your many bad experiences you guys advise me not to do of such thing, and that is great, but I'm not saying that she is the one, but obviously it hurts her stomach to the point where she has to rethink things through and come up with a nice answer for the both of us. That is a chance I am willing to take. And am I willing to sit around and wait? No, certainly not. I'm not doing anything, she is the one who has to figure it all out. No hurt on my part. I don't have my hopes up or anything but I am keeping an open mind. If she goes, she goes. If she comes back I win, either way I do win. I came here for open minded advises, not coward advises. no offense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author numberone Posted November 11, 2012 Author Share Posted November 11, 2012 thanks for stating the obvious. you really have too much time to dig up my past posts. look at what you are saying as well, treating her like a God? How so am I doing that this time. She told me she was upset, I let her go and figure out her own life before she came back to me. You are blowing this out of proportion. LOL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tiera D Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 i think Poo has read too much PUA material..i think OP was doing quite well,although OP i think you would need to speed up the process she will continue be hanging on the ledge unless you make her make a decision,give your ex a sort ultimatum,unless she is 100% certain she wants you back its best to go NC ,no more "lets take it slow" excuses..be straightforward and tell her that,and remember dont pour your heart out,just state the relevant things.my 2 cents TD Link to post Share on other sites
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