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No To FWB...Did I Do The Right Thing?


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We dated 3 months and he called it off...I loved him and still do.

We've kept in touch as friends on email and phone when I travelled overseas for 6 months, and he got sexual again so I went with it - hey, I like him.

I thought his feelings had changed and he'd be interested in dating again.

I returned recently and we met up. I said that I couldn't sleep with him outside AT LEAST a dating relationship. He said he thought I was up for some 'fun' and told me that he couldn't do more than FWB right now...

 

We caught up again platonically the other day....and now I feel sad and a loss. I miss being physically close to him, though I can't do it without my heart being involved - it already is!

 

Did I do the right thing saying 'no'? Should I have just gone with it so I can be close to him again? I just don't want a broken heart, though partly it already is :(

Edited by FLYTE
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It's seems like no brainer he told you what expect: no relationship only FWB that's it. If you can't handle that move on. He knows you well known to know if he wants relationship which apparently he doesn't,so either accept the FWB situation or move on. He's not going change.

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For me the FWB thing never works with people from the past. It only works with people who I never had any intention of having a relationship with, and who were only ever going to be FWB. If you dated this guy and called it off, you're far better off to go down the no contact route now. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

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You did exactly the right thing -- setting your boundaries and sticking to them.

 

This guy wants to try and use you for a while for sex, then more than likely, get rid of you when he's no longer interested in having sex with you, which will happen. It's sad, but that's reality.

 

As others have said, go no contact, grieve, learn, and heal. You'll see soon enough that they're definitely other and BETTER fish in the sea.

 

Again, kudos to you for standing up for yourself, loving yourself, and not letting him use you.

 

Good luck.

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todreaminblue

You did the right thing by saying no th only thing that would have happened if you did decide to do the fwb thing is you would end up regretting it, because, he wont commit whether you give it or not he made that clear.

That's not what your heart wants so for sure you did the right thing.Even though it does hurt now at least you stayed true to who you are save that fro someone who cares equally for you and wants the same from a relationship that you do ....hugs to ya.....deb

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Yes! Smartest decision ever, especially if you have feelings for him. What happens if you fall even harder for him and he still doesn't want a relationship? That's going to make the pain ten times worse.

 

Try distancing yourself from him a bit. Stay friends! It's always nice to have friends. But maybe, don't meet up as often. But basically, yeah. You made the smartest choice, which is usually the hardest one.

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