woodworker54 Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 I am so confused. I have been married for 22 years on Sept. 11 and have both good memories and bad ones (of my marriage) throughout those years. My wife's father died 4 months ago and my wife just can't get over it. She was very close to her father. During his sickness (prostate cancer) my wife started to introvert a bit and talked very little to me. I told her I was there for her and we needed to communicate but it just got worse. I'm not perfect but I do love her deeply and want to be with her and care for her, and I tell her this every chance I get. I have never strayed, I found her to be everything I needed. A week ago I kept badgering her to talk to me and she said that she had a lot of issues to deal with and it was making her miserable to the point that she thought that spliting up for a while would do us some good. We had an argument and I found out that she was planning on leaving as soon as my son (he's 19) returns to college. So instead of waiting she got mad and just left. She went to her cousin's house and has been there. I've called a few times but the convertsations were short and curt. I'm devastated at this point, not knowing what to do and I have been talking to friends and family members and no one has any good answers. She has said that she would call me and set up a time when we could get together and "straighten this out" but she hasn't called. I know she has been gone for only a week but it's killing me. I keep thinking I'm in trouble because she and her cousin are very close and tell each other everything. She has been married 3 times and I feel that my wife is getting coaching from her. Her cousin is very headstrong. If this continues on should I talk to a lawer or get some counseling? My other feeling is that she maybe going through hormonal changes, she is 48 yrs. old and is irrational. She really doesn't have much money and lives from paycheck to paycheck. Throughout the years ever since we were married I paid all the bills myself like the mortgage, utilities, property taxes, vacations, groceries, even though she has a job as a school teacher. Whatever she earned she used for her personal things or to give to my son when he's in college. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Rob Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 we need to hear your wife's side of this. Maybe you aren't treating her as good as you could be. She wouldn't have planned to leave you without a reason. I believe there is more going on that you haven't told us. Link to post Share on other sites
Megan5P Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 It could be one of those instances where she stayed devoted until the kids grew up and left the nest and now she's sick of her life and wants to go out on her own? 22 years is a long time to be married but it's not uncommon for women to suddenly want to call it quits after the kids are grown. When I was in court getting my divorce I met two guys in their late 40's who were married both 17 years and 25 years and both said their wives were the ones wanting the divorce - that they never saw it coming and thought things were fine. Sometimes you men are totally clueless - women need "emotional" support and when that's lacking they want to leave. Do you have any clue why your wife wants out after 22 years? Maybe she's sick of being June Cleaver. Link to post Share on other sites
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