Are my overwhelming feelings of despair blowing everything out of porportion

[steffany]

I found out this morning that a dear friend of mine died after a hard time fighting HIV. I found out yesterday my 76 yr grandfather has prostate cancer. I was given two weeks pay and was let go do to down sizing this morning.

 

I can't tell if my over whelming sadness of these circumstances are causing me to over react or if my boyfriend is really being as uncaring as I feel.

 

Here is what has lead for me to be confused about my emotions.

 

Last night was a friends last night in town and wanted me to go out with him and friends. I said "No I want to spend some time with my boyfriend...I really don't feel up to going out." Then asked my boyfriend if he would stay in with me. He said yes.

 

Then got a call that a guy he is trying to start a business with need his assistance to get a bunch of buddies in the club. Since my boyfriend promotes it he could easily get them in. He said he would be right back.

 

Well they started talking about work adventures and possibilities and he didn't come home until the club closed.

 

I got upset and he said he would take me to lunch today and we would talk about him taking me on a date that evening. (we've been together two years so dates are almost non existent, we are always just together)

 

I found out the bad news of my friend and my job. I left work for a bit to clear my head. I was at his place. He started to fall asleep so I went back to work.

 

I called him to tell him about an email from his friend. He was out to lunch with buddies. I then realized I never even ate I was so upset. I began to feel really mad at him. He said he didn't think I was going to eat since it was 2pm when I left. I felt so uncared for. So I hung up the phone.

 

I text him saying that I don't want to see him until this weekend. I said I have enough pain going on and do not need the pain of a thoughtless boyfriend on top of it all.

 

I am going away to Detroit to see my grandad for 10 days on Sunday.

 

I told him I would call him to make arrangements to meet him to ride to the funeral on Sat. with him but until then I felt he was being very UN thoughtful when I am out of sight.

 

Now I want to know am I over reacting? I never told him last night it was important to me that he stay home with me. I feel at the moment I shouldn't have to explain that much.

 

He also said he didn't think I was hungry today or he would have went with me or asked me to join them. I feel that he should have known I am very sad and forgot about food and since he asked me to lunch the day before he should have at least asked me if I was ok if we didn't go or if I was hungry.

 

Help me sort this out. I do need him to lean on now but don't need this hurt. I text him to leave me alone until Saturday but I'm not sure if I really mean it.

 

I do know I want my anger and hurt with him to go away. But I don't know about not having him to help through this time.

 

Help!

[InLove13]

You poor girl!

 

Listen. You have every right in the world to be sad and to need support right now - especially from someone you love and someone who should be in tune to when you feel bad and when maybe you just need a hug. You are right on being away from him for a while - it will give him time to realize that he should be more supportive to you and your feelings right now.

 

When you talk to him again, make sure you let him know that it hurt you when he wasn't there when you needed him the most. Let him know that you love him and need him to be there for you no matter what the case being - happy or sad, or else he needs to take a hike.

 

Be strong, keep your chin up and try to smile (it helps sometimes...) Good Luck!

[steffany]

I called him and opened up and told him how I feel.

 

And for every excuse he came up with I pointed out how careless and unthoughtful even his own excuses are.

 

He got quite and all he could do was appologize and promise to try his best to be more aware and attentive to my needs and feelings.

 

I told him we'll see. And that if for some reason he just can't be more thoughtful I was going to find someone who is.