c57dood Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Are there any secrets to holding in gas when you're on a date? Sometimes, I have to fart really bad but I'm in the car with my date or at a table and I have to hold it in but its painful. I've done this little trick where I let a little out at a time and let it seep into the chair so the smell doesn't leak out. There was this one time where the girl was sitting across from me, I tried this maneuver, and she made this weird face like she caught me. I played it off like it was some other table, but this is becoming a problem. When I'm alone I can fart when I want and my body is used to this, but when I have to hold it in around a girl I like it gets painful. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Under The Radar Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 I don't have any advice for you, but I did laugh for a solid minute after reading your dating ordeals I hope you get some suggestions from some other posters; I got nothing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bolase Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Well, my first boyfriend was like you. He held it in around me, so much that it caused him pain, but he kept it from me for months. Our group of friends admitted that he would fart massively in front of them after he'd said goodbye to me and complain about how he had held it in for hours but he couldn't bring himself to do it near me. It's just stages, the comfort stage about 2 months in is really the farting stage. Advice: at least show her you are making the effort to NOT do it in front of her, cause eventually you will, and it will be less of a rude shock. Maybe when you really need to, excuse yourself, smiling politely at her, then leave the room, and when you come back a few seconds later she'll be all "where did you go?" and you just say you had to let something out. She won't care - but she'll be less disturbed when you start doing it in front of her.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 I have had this problem due to dating women who love wine and wine makes me fart. Try Gasx, Digel or Beano, three OTC remedies. If you already have gas, I don't think they work as well, but if you take a good dose before dates, eating and drinking, they will work fairly well unless you eat something that really disagrees with you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
21stCenturyMale Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Are there any secrets to holding in gas when you're on a date? Sometimes, I have to fart really bad but I'm in the car with my date or at a table and I have to hold it in but its painful. I've done this little trick where I let a little out at a time and let it seep into the chair so the smell doesn't leak out. There was this one time where the girl was sitting across from me, I tried this maneuver, and she made this weird face like she caught me. I played it off like it was some other table, but this is becoming a problem. When I'm alone I can fart when I want and my body is used to this, but when I have to hold it in around a girl I like it gets painful. Any ideas? Dude, what are you eating that you have to fart so much? I think you need to change your diet so that you don't have to have so many fart. Eat more greens, less beef and other foods that just sit in your intestines. It's normal to fart 5-8 times throughout the course of the day. If you find yourself having to hold them in all the time, a. excuse yourself so you can relieve the situation. b. change the foods that you are eating, and c.- If you're farting around your friends when she leaves you're being a pain on your friends, and you're not being your real self around her. Once you have reached that "comfort" zone, you'll be farting in front of her too. My ex once farted in front of me, and while I wasn't ecstatic about it, it wasn't a big deal. She didn't fart very much around me though. Now that you mention it, hmm... well we only dated for 6 months, so who knows on that one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Are there any secrets to holding in gas when you're on a date? Sometimes, I have to fart really bad but I'm in the car with my date or at a table and I have to hold it in but its painful. I've done this little trick where I let a little out at a time and let it seep into the chair so the smell doesn't leak out. There was this one time where the girl was sitting across from me, I tried this maneuver, and she made this weird face like she caught me. I played it off like it was some other table, but this is becoming a problem. When I'm alone I can fart when I want and my body is used to this, but when I have to hold it in around a girl I like it gets painful. Any ideas? Hahaha! I've got no advice other than to reiterate what other people have said about knowing your body and what different foods will do to it. Cruciferous vegetables, though good for you, are a particular culprit....but if you have an intolerance for milk that'll do it too. Also, watch out for sweets/chewing gum that contain sorbitol. Or you could always try to find a girl . 5 Link to post Share on other sites
21stCenturyMale Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Or you could always try to find a girl . Oh, I was crying, so funny! Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 i'm kinda gross i guess and i think farts are funny. I've been with my man for seven months and he has never once farted in front of me. He's just a lady like that. So i don't do it in front of him either. I only get grossed out when its a really smelly one. But you never know when those are coming. Eat better. Try an otc medication. And excuse yourself. Or watch dumb and dumber with her and see if she laughs at the poop scene. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Step one know how to make silent farts. Step 2 even if you're both a lone in the car or what ever and you make "the silent but deadly" fart just smile and blame it on something else. Don't apologize or act embarrassed. It's kind of funny. Enjoy seeing your pretty little thing breath in your poo air. You could also change what you're eating/drinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Oh, I was crying, so funny! I'd have paid good money to see somebody hold a lighter to her backside. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 (edited) I get comfortable enough around a woman I'll do it a good distance away from her , but not in a confined space or in close range. It's normal to fart 5-8 times throughout the course of the day.. Bull crap, it IS normal, I have done it that mean times in a day before...no big deal. I'll just hold it in until the time is appropriate. Are there any secrets to holding in gas when you're on a date? Sometimes, I have to fart really bad but I'm in the car with my date or at a table and I have to hold it in but its painful. I've done this little trick where I let a little out at a time and let it seep into the chair so the smell doesn't leak out. There was this one time where the girl was sitting across from me, I tried this maneuver, and she made this weird face like she caught me. I played it off like it was some other table, but this is becoming a problem. When I'm alone I can fart when I want and my body is used to this, but when I have to hold it in around a girl I like it gets painful. Any ideas? Edited November 11, 2012 by irc333 Link to post Share on other sites
DC4 Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Gas-x man. Keep some around. It's part of my pre-date ritual especially if I know I'm having sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Or you could always try to find a girl . Reminds me of this...haha On Topic... Beano.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Get one of these for your car (single scent, stay away from the dual scent) Refresh Your Car Scented Oil Wick -New Car Scent : Amazon.com : Automotive All my cars are bought new or the interior completely redone and I don't smoke, so just a freshener is enough to make everything smell great. If that is not the case for you, try some strong deodorizing spray as well. I usually use the fresh-linen. I think it puts out enough to mask even a fart. Every time a girl or anyone gets in my car, they always perk up and remark how nice everything smells. Get chlorophyll pills (avoid liquid form....very difficult to take). I use the nullo ones myself. One in the morning, one at night. **** comes out greenish for a while.....and it doesn't stink. Amazon.com: body mint Seriously, my fart smells ....not as bad to unnoticeable. Link to post Share on other sites
gullibleme Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 I have another hilarious one...sadly don't know how to put it on here Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Well, as vulgar as the topic is, I know a man who goes outside and does it-dating or not. When there are parties at his home, he will slip out the door he's closest too, whether that be the patio or the front door. He does this while inside other people's homes too. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 If this is a constant problem, I'm betting you eat very fast and gulp your food, along with a lot of air. You might not be digesting your food properly, so start taking digestive enzymes, available from any health food store, at every meal. You could give yourself an enema an hour before the date, then take a shower. You might have yourself checked out for colitis or irritable bowel syndrome. Otherwise, make a point of not eating broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower or beans on the day of the date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Reminds me of this...haha On Topic... Beano.... I saw that one too! I thought about posting it, but the version I saw was an advert so I decided against it. Here's my favourite show again. That ultimate nightmare of every sane person, male or female, young or old (but especially very young or very old, as it's more likely to happen to them...). I give you, or Will gives you, the shart: Ugh. The Inbetweeners | Exam Time | Series 2 - Episode 6 - YouTube Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 You could give yourself an enema an hour before the date, then take a shower. Wow! Is this what people have to do now before a date?? LMAO! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mysteryscape Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 As others have suggested, and perhaps something new here in the chemical warfare department: take a good dump before you go out, really blast it all out if you can. use beano or something like that. if you still can't avoid blastoff, excuse yourself and go to the john. if worst comes to worst, blow it out really loud, then look at the guy sitting closest to you and give a disgusted look. if there's nobody else around, let it out real slow. if it's one of those silent ones that smells like a thief in the night, you could give a puzzled, quizzical, somewhat annoyed look to your date -- let her wonder if she's the one -- it may take her mind off of your problem long enough to recover. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 This is why I don't date. I agree with FitChick (at least on this topic), chew your food better and eat more slowly. Ths is good for you in other ways as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author c57dood Posted November 11, 2012 Author Share Posted November 11, 2012 Thanks for the tips everyone. My diet mostly consists of tuna, chicken, beef, pork, salad, broccoli, pasta, cereal, 2% milk, cheese, sushi, I eat a lot of sandwiches with whole wheat bread. The problem with my farts, is they smell really bad. They're hot and they stink. Usually, even if I haven't eaten anything all day, I'll still fart but they aren't hot. I've heard that it's not good to try and force yourself to defecate because you can damage your waste canal. I might try gas x or beano. I do excuse myself and I do fart in the bathroom, but when I come back there's another one building up. I have been with girls before and I was comfortable to fart around them, even in the bed. All she had to do was lift up the blanket and she'd say "Did you fart?" Which I had to confess because it did smell pretty gnarly. Yet the girls I'm seeing now would probably be offended if they smelled these because I'm not at that level yet. The weird thing is, they eat the same thing as I do, and unless they're holding in the farts like I am, theirs should smell just as bad. I should try the Beano or Gas X, maybe that will work. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Funny but gross thread. Not reading any post other than the op's. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 My diet mostly consists of tuna, chicken, beef, pork, salad, broccoli, pasta, cereal, 2% milk, cheese, sushi, I eat a lot of sandwiches with whole wheat bread. You'll have to experiment with your diet. On the face of it, I'd say cut drastically back on the grains. Instead of a tuna sandwich, for example, make a tuna salad. Instead of broccoli, eat spinach. Do you know if you are lactose intolerant? You might have to give up dairy products if so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author c57dood Posted November 11, 2012 Author Share Posted November 11, 2012 You'll have to experiment with your diet. On the face of it, I'd say cut drastically back on the grains. Instead of a tuna sandwich, for example, make a tuna salad. Instead of broccoli, eat spinach. Do you know if you are lactose intolerant? You might have to give up dairy products if so. Hmm, I never really considered lactose intolerance. I never really feel sick after I drink milk or eat cheese, but that could be something. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts