jchamos2003 Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 i have been with my g/f for almost 2 years. In that time things have been good 3 months ago she found out i used drugs again ( after being clean 1 1/2 years, still drink though, not often ),it hurt her very badly but she gave me another chance. The other night i went out, the first time in two months, i ended up kissing another woman and getting caught. the kiss didn't mean anything to me and i am not interested in persuing a relationship with the other woman. I love my G/f very much and this was such a huge mistake. i want One LAST chance to make it right, because we are trying to get a house and my g/f is 2 months pregnant. Iknow i won't screw her over again. but i cant prove it if she doesn't give me a chance. what should i do? PLEASE HELP!!! other than these 2 problems our relationship has been good.we dont fight very often, maybe 3 time since we've been together.And I really do love her i've just made mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Nobody here can help you. You can only help yourself. Start by asking yourself "Why do I continue to screw up and risk hurting myself, the woman I love and potentially my child?" Don't accept any easy or trite answers from yourself. If you can't come up with an answer, get professional help to find the answer. You are about to become a father. So you need to focus on your GF and taking care of her, not going out and having so grand a time that you wind up kissing women you don't care about. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 I don't have much sympathy for you, sorry. My ex-husband walked out on me and his newborn baby for drugs. Drugs were more important than us and I stood in his way of using. He's clean now, been clean for awhile, but that doesn't change what he did. Maybe you can learn from his mistake, and get yourself responsible now before your baby is born. Don't make her raise that baby herself because you can't grow up and stay away from women and drugs. These are NOT mistakes you're making, they're choices. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jchamos2003 Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 Thank you both. I don't know what's going to happen. we talked last night, and it didn't seem to go any where. I' m so angry at my self for being so stupid. The hurt in her eyes and the guilt I feel is crushing me. I dont look for the path of least resistance, which is why i would never run away from her. I just wish I could take it all back, or make it so we had never met.Than she could live with out the pain I have caused her. But I can't! I'm rambling on here. I have asked myself if I love her or not, and I do. but why i keep screwing up , i haven't figured out yet. feel free to let me have it people. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 How does she know that you are not lying? How does she know you don't have another woman on the side? How does she know that you'll stop doing drugs? Should she risk the life and hapiness of herself and YOUR CHILD, based on your promises? Most people would say no. Sorry dude. And they are choices, not mistakes. How do you know that you won't do them again, when you act like it's not even your fault? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jchamos2003 Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 It is my fault. and i haven't done drugs in months. sorry i'm getting defensive here. I am the one who caused her this pain. And I have destroyed her trust twice, first with the drugs, and now when she was starting to feel better about me,I Kissed another woman. \ I take complete responsibilitie, i'm the peice of **** that even a dog won't go near.But i digress, i guess im asking,should i just leave her alone, or keep trying to stay in her life as her B/f. i will be there for our child if she lets me. i just can't believe i was so stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 I suppose it is her choice whether to be with her or not. Just remember that YOU are in the dog house and you'll have to keep apologizing for a long long time. You'll also have to deal with her anger and suspicion. Don't get into that attitude "Don't you trust me?! Haven't I apologized enough?" (Not that you are doing that, I am just warning you) It won't work. Be very very patient and loving and giving. Ask her exactly what she wants. If she wants you to stop going out with your friends for a period of time, then you'll have to do it . If she wants you to make a few promises then you'll have to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jchamos2003 Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 Thank you for your reply. i have to go to work now. hopefully it will work out. i'm going to give 110% I hope she give me this chance. i'll do whatever it takes. but you people aren't the one who need to hear and see that she is. Thanks again, i keep you all informed. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 You're welcome. Just remember that she has the right to be suspicious of you. Maybe you can show HER what you wrote here to show her how you feel. The most important thing here is for you to communicate! Link to post Share on other sites
Dork Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Leave her alone and be patient. Let her come to you. But in your case which sounds pretty extreme from the usual breakup reasons (Miscommunication usually) like kissing another woman in front of her, drugs.. seems like you gotta take care of your stuff first! Link to post Share on other sites
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