Why do women get mad when you think their beliefs are stupid?

[BetheButterfly]

I can't imagine saying to my husband, "what you believe, decided, thought of is stupid."

 

That's a pretty clear strike st someone's thought patterns and intelligence, duh.

 

I can just see his face in my mind. He'd be pretty crushed followed up by being pissed off that I'd be such a bitch about it.

 

Of course he's pretty sensitive about "stupid." his mother told him he was stupid and lazy his whole growing up. Still refuses to acknowledge that he's proven himself academically, if he has a good idea etc; than she attributes it to me. She's stupid.

 

She also talks to her grandchildren like that. But not my kid because I've more than sufficiently laid down the law on that.

 

I get so mad when other kids, parents, and teachers call kids or what they do/say "stupid." That's one of my pet peeves.

 

It does hurt how the child views himself/herself. It hurts them emotionally, and is 100% not acceptable. I'm so glad you made sure to protect your child from the grandmother using that dart.

[BetheButterfly]

You're selling yourself and her short by entertaining such a difference and complaining about it.

 

Agreed.

 

Elswyth is right. If he thinks her beliefs are "stupid" then he should just get out of the relationship. He doesn't need to insult her by insulting her beliefs. He can simply say, "I don't believe that. We are not compatible." or if he wants to stay in the relationship, "I don't believe that. Can we agree to disagree?"

 

One of my guy friends who I was interested in as a potential mate, before I got married again, is an Atheist. He's a great man. However, due to our differences in beliefs, we decided to not to become a couple. Now, if I had been less of a "Jesus freak" we might have been able to work out. (I don't consider the term "Jesus freak" to be an insult; I call myself that.) However, I really appreciated his not insulting me but rather simply realizing he wanted a mate that shared his beliefs/ideas. I realized that too. It was a good learning experience for the both of us.

 

[Anela]

This whole mess confuses me. I'm not calling anyone stupid. This is not a personal attack. I just THINK the belief system that she's adopted is stupid. I have plenty of reasons why. No one is perfect, and no one makes all the wisest decisions. Plenty of smart people are Christian, spiritualist, etc. It's not like I'm trying to change her... I look at facts and I have my opinions and I'm honest about them. I'm trying hard to see why this offends people. I feel like they are being close-minded and don't want to acknowledge that other people disagree.

 

You're being closed-minded by saying that it's all nonsense. I'm not being mean, I'm just pointing that out.

[alexandria35]

This whole mess confuses me. I'm not calling anyone stupid. This is not a personal attack. I just THINK the belief system that she's adopted is stupid. I have plenty of reasons why. No one is perfect, and no one makes all the wisest decisions. Plenty of smart people are Christian, spiritualist, etc. It's not like I'm trying to change her... I look at facts and I have my opinions and I'm honest about them. I'm trying hard to see why this offends people. I feel like they are being close-minded and don't want to acknowledge that other people disagree.

 

Look, what this comes down to is how you presented this to her. If you simply stated that you don't share her beliefs then that should have been fine and she should not have been offended. If she broke up with you over that then she is hyper sensitive and you are probably better off without her anyways. However the title of this thread is "why do women get mad when you think their beliefs are stupid?" which leads me to believe that you told her her beliefs are stupid, which is offensive and unsupportive. You see it as okay because you didn't call her stupid and I get that but as human beings our emotions don't make that distinction. As someone said, if you tell a child what he does or thinks is stupid on a consistant basis then it won't be long before you have a child with damaged selfesteem and who thinks that he is stupid, even if you never outright called the kid stupid. You can disagree with someone elses beliefs and still be supportive and respectful. Saying their beliefs are stupid is neither respectful or supportive and if that's what you did then it's no surprise to me that she didn't want to continue a relationship with someone who is disrespectful and unsupportive of her.

[dreamingoftigers]

Personally I think her (your ex-gfs) beliefs are crazy. But my mother in law is a Jehovah's Witness, so, um I've had to deal with a lot of crazy.

 

You NEVER tell crazy that they are crazy.

[dreamingoftigers]

In addition to the above you just nod and say, "oh yeah, that's fascinating."

 

Furthermore I told my husband the title of this thread and he just LOLed